Patience
by Pixelgoddess-the-sequel
Summary: Vegeta and Goku have become a couple and a baby is one the way. But why is mating so hard for Goku to do? Angst, Yaoi, Lemon Ch15-Now that they are mated, Goku and Vegeta have some playful time in bed. Yaoi, language, mpreg
1. Patience

**Patience**  
_By Pixelgoddess_

Warnings, pairings, and all that… Vegeta/Goku, sparring and kissing, no sex. sigh Maybe next time. Why can't I own them? Why? Why?

One-liner – "Why did you stop?"  
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Vegeta bared his teeth in a joyful snarl, flashing to gold in response to Kakarott's own power up. They had been sparring for hours, Vegeta pushing the younger Saiyan to the limits of his defenses.

It had taken Vegeta years…decades, even, to learn to be more patient in battle, but lately it had been paying off. He had changed his strategy over time – defeat after defeat had finally taught him not to rush himself in combat. He husbanded his resources, wearing away at his opponent, testing his defenses, letting him make the first mistake.

Kakarott was a perfect opponent to practice on; he rarely called on his power unless he felt hard-pressed; he didn't transform any higher than he had to in order to win. His powering up now told Vegeta everything he needed to know – Kakarott was in danger of losing this spar and he knew it.

However, after decades of sparring together, their power levels were virtually equal – Kakarott no longer had the advantage of the strength he always used to rely on for victory.

"Having problems, Kakarott?" he smirked.

"No problems, Vegeta," Kakarott snapped back, ripping away the remains of his torn shirt.

Vegeta often wondered if Kakarott did that on purpose. His choice of clothing colors had fortunately changed, but the style remained much the same – loose gis that ripped and shredded much too easily.

Vegeta had to admit he found the display somewhat distracting. Kakarott was a Saiyan in his prime – very much in his prime – his body hard and muscled from intense training. He had often wondered what that body would feel like writhing under him, but had never attempted to find out- not yet, anyway. He could be patient, though. Even though Kakarott appeared blind to his interest and admiring glances, maybe he would notice some day. After all, he was a Saiyan – eventually instinct would have to win out over the humans' teachings.

If it didn't? Vegeta had come to value Kakarott's company; he might want more, but he would not pursue him blindly, risking the rejection of one of the only people still alive who he considered a friend. Still…that didn't stop him from looking.

He cursed to himself and went on the offensive when his admiration cost him a punch in the gut. If it weren't for the additional protection his own training outfit provided him he'd almost consider testing this distraction technique against Kakarott. It would be interesting to see if the younger Saiyan noticed.

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Vegeta stood under the steaming shower of Kakarott's cottage and curled his hand around his erection, stroking himself. Today he had almost lost his resolve to be patient. After they had both ascended, the battle had continued with its usual intensity. Amazingly, Kakarott, usually so focused, had gotten distracted. More than once Vegeta had found an opening that should never have existed, his blows striking home.

It soon became evident Kakarott's mind was not on this spar, the point proven when the Saiyan dropped from the sky, hitting the ground with bone-jarring force. Vegeta quickly followed his descent, landing beside a still-stunned Kakarott.

Kakarott tried to get up, but Vegeta put his hand on the firm chest of his friend and made him stay down. He was so focused on the feel of Kakarott's skin against his he almost forgot what he was doing. He had even gone as far as spreading his fingers to touch more of him, only stopping at Kakarott's moan.

"Rest a minute, Kakarott," he said. He hadn't realized he had hurt him that much. "Get your breath back."

"Vegeta," Kakarott said, and he was nearly undone; he had heard his name gasped that way in his dreams. Vegeta almost kissed him right then.

He swallowed hard, fighting for control. "Looks like you lose today," he smirked when he could finally speak normally. He wondered if Kakarott had noticed his growing erection; it was getting more and more difficult to hide his attraction.

Kakarott had looked up at him with those intense dark eyes of his and licked his lips, blushing slightly, "You win, Vegeta."

Vegeta stroked himself faster, picturing that perfect body against his own, Kakarott moaning his name. He didn't know how much more patient he could be; soon he would have to tell Kakarott and hope the younger Saiyan would understand.

Vegeta bit his lip as he came, not wanting Kakarott to hear him moaning his name.

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Vegeta chased the last of his dessert with his spoon. "Not bad Kakarott. Maybe you should lose more often."

Kakarott chuckled, "Maybe I should cook all the time no matter who wins. Face it Vegeta, you aren't much of a chef and robot-made food gets boring."

He smirked and dipped his spoon into Kakarott's dessert, stealing a bite.

"Hey!"

"That's what happens when you insult your prince," Vegeta said. Truth be told, Kakarott wasn't lying. Vegeta could cook enough to get by – he'd never starve – but he just never spent the time learning the finer points. On the other hand, Chichi was an excellent cook and Kakarott had spent much of the last years of her life at her side, learning his way around the kitchen. He envied Kakarott the long years with his mate; Bulma's heart attack had taken her from him unexpectedly.

Kakarott finished his dessert, racing to eat it before Vegeta stole much more. "I'll make more next time, okay?" he said as he began clearing the table.

"Does that mean you are planning on losing again?" Vegeta smirked, admiring the way Kakarott moved around the kitchen.

"No! I'll cook no matter what. But I'm going to win next time," he said, depositing the dirty dishes in the sink.

"We'll see." Vegeta tipped back in his chair and closed his eyes, content. He would have to go home in a few hours, but until then he and Kakarott would play a video game, watch an action movie, or maybe argue over strategy.

He opened his eyes curiously, as he felt the heat of the younger Saiyan at his side. Kakarott was looking at him strangely, his brow furrowed with indecision. Unexpectedly Kakarott leaned down and pressed their lips together.

Vegeta was stunned – too stunned to react or cooperate. All he could do was look at the face of the Saiyan he had wanted for so long. Kakarott kissed him timidly, eyes closed. It had happened! It had _finally_ happened! Suddenly Kakarott's eyes snapped open and he stared at Vegeta in panic before recoiling.

"Vegeta…I'm, I'm, I'm sorry…I don't know what…I, I, I-." Kakarott began retreating, practically stumbling over his own feet in an effort to escape.

Vegeta growled and sat up, the chair legs crashing down to the floor. It wasn't right – Kakarott should not be sorry for doing something Vegeta had been patiently waiting for.

Vegeta lunged forward and grabbed his arm as Kakarott began to raise his fingers to his forehead in order to escape. Somehow, he knew if he let him run there would be no second chance; Kakarott would rationalize this away.

"Kakarott," he purred, curling his hand tightly in the blue gi. He pushed until Kakarott's back was pressed against the wall. It bothered him to see the panic in his bright black eyes, but he was sure he could get past that.

"Vegeta…" he said desperately, "I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry. Please don't be mad."

But Vegeta did know what came over Kakarott; the same thing that came over him so often. How long had Kakarott-?

"Kakarott," he said silkily, releasing the tight grip on his wrist to glide up his arm, finally coming to rest in the dark spikes, "Why did you stop?" Vegeta didn't give him a chance to answer, tightening his grip and pulling Kakarott's head down to his.

Kakarott's mouth was the heat he had dreamed it was. Their tongues touched and tasted, breathing each other in. Kakarott's body was hard against him, hands touching his flesh, sending fire through his skin. Kakarott wanted him as much as he did.

And all it took was patience.


	2. Virtue

**Virtue**  
_By Pixelgoddess_

One-liner – "I've been waiting a long time for this." Goku's side of 'Patience'

Vegeta/Goku, sex, smut, angst…did I say sex?  
Why does everyone think I own them? Hmmm?

_sighs I'm too tired to deal with ff's stuff - if I didn't have readers here, I wouldn't be posting more of this story here. Please keep in mind, if you are reading this story on ffnet, you are reading a self-censored version. Mediaminer, AFF, and my own website pixelgoddesscloset have the full, smut-filled versions of these chapters. (Honestly, you are missing important character points this way, but what can you do? - I'm not in the mood to have my stuff pulled.)_  
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Goku growled to himself and flared into Super Saiyan. Vegeta was kicking his ass today; he needed more power to have any chance of winning. It was his own fault, really – every day it was becoming more difficult to focus on the spar and not on the appearance of his opponent.

Vegeta didn't seem to have the same problem – unfortunately.

It had been interesting watching as Vegeta had slowly changed over the years, even more so after Bulma's sudden death. He had gotten control over his anger – even learned to use it to his advantage. As a result, his fighting style was more deadly than ever. Vegeta had finally found his stillpoint – he had learned patience and control over the years.

The prince no longer rushed into combat heedlessly – he waited for his moment now. He seemed to be able to bank his energy, exploding when it was to _his_ advantage.

The change had forced Goku to change his own style – out-waiting a patient Vegeta was nearly impossible; sometimes the only possibility of winning was doing something completely impulsive. If he had fought like this years ago, it was unlikely the prince would have been defeated when he first arrived on earth.

"Having problems, Kakarott?"

Damn him. He _knew_. He knew Goku was losing. Vegeta was wearing that appealing smirk Goku had come to love and hate.

"No problems, Vegeta," he growled, ripping away the rest of his damaged shirt. It was too bad he couldn't use his exposed body as a distraction; it had worked against other, less focused opponents. Sure, Vegeta watched him all the time, but that was just studying an opponent. The prince would never think of him as anything more than a friend and a rival.

Still, that didn't keep Goku from fantasizing. It was probably a good thing the prince's uniform didn't get damaged as easily as his own. If it did, he doubted he would be able to concentrate on the fight when faced with the sight of Vegeta's bronzed muscles.

Ascending didn't do much good today; he only got one good punch to the prince's gut before the tables were turned again. Between Vegeta whittling away at his defenses and distracting thoughts of the prince's body he was getting pummeled. Blow after blow made it through his defenses – in the past Vegeta would have been furious with him, accusing him of not trying. Goku frowned; he wanted to fight – he just…_couldn_'t.

Vegeta caught him with a punishing blow and he dropped from the sky, crashing to the ground with a pain-filled grunt. He lay there dazed, cursing himself for letting his interest in Vegeta get the better of him. Vegeta landed beside him, and Goku felt himself becoming aroused at his heady scent. He tried to sit up, hoping the prince wouldn't notice his body's reaction. Vegeta pushed him back down, his hand spread over his chest, feeling too much like the caress he had fantasized so often. He moaned at the sensation.

"Rest a minute, Kakarott. Get your breath back."

It wasn't fair. Was this the only way he would ever get the contact he craved? He wanted more; he wanted… "Vegeta..."

Vegeta looked at him with a strange expression, studying him again. Goku could only swallow hard and blush under the scrutiny; he had _moaned_ Vegeta's name. What was _wrong_ with him?

-----

Goku watched with pleasure and a certain amount of pride as Vegeta ate the last crumbs of the dessert he had made. Chichi's teaching had paid off; he actually looked forward to making these meals. Vegeta seemed to appreciate his cooking and it was another excuse to be around his prince for something that wasn't sparring.

"Not bad, Kakarott. Maybe you should lose more often."

He laughed, "Maybe I should cook all the time no matter who wins. Face it Vegeta, you aren't much of a chef and robot-made food gets boring."

Vegeta smirked, and then surprisingly dipped a spoon into Goku's dessert, stealing a bite. He knew Vegeta felt comfortable around him, but this was something new.

"Hey!"

"That's what happens when you insult your prince," Vegeta chuckled.

It became a race after that, Goku doing his best to eat his dessert faster than Vegeta could steal it. He actually thought it was kind of funny – this was more like something their sons would have gotten up to when they were kids. Their spoons collided a few times, but Goku triumphantly scooped up the last bite.

As he cleared away the remains of their meal, he could feel Vegeta's eyes on him, studying him again. It made him feel kind of odd – it wasn't that he objected to the attention, but he wished he knew why the prince watched him so much. Vegeta seemed so relaxed and comfortable – it was almost how he got when sparring…like he was waiting for Goku to screw up so he could spring on him.

Meanwhile, Goku was getting fidgety – he laughed and joked to hide it, but it was beginning to feel like _he_ was the one who was going to explode. Why couldn't he tell Vegeta? Why didn't he? Vegeta had changed, hadn't he?

His rounds of the kitchen brought him to stand next to the prince. He was stretched out, eyes closed, hands behind his head. His muscles strained against the tight t-shirt and Goku wondered yet again if Vegeta deliberately bought shirts several sizes too small in order to get that effect.

His gaze traveled up to Vegeta's face, and he smiled to himself as he realized the prince had missed a spot of whipped cream near his mouth. Goku licked his lips imagining what it would be like to kiss it away. Before he could think about what he was doing or what the consequences could be, he bent and pressed his mouth against Vegeta's. Soft… warm… spice mixed with the sweetness of the cream. He was about to trace his tongue over Vegeta's lips when he finally realized what he was doing, his eyes snapping open in shock. He recoiled as he realized his prince's eyes were open, watching him curiously.

"Vegeta…I'm, I'm, I'm sorry…I don't know what…I, I, I-." What was he thinking? Vegeta didn't kiss him back – he didn't do anything at all. He should never have acted so impulsively. He began retreating, practically stumbling over his own feet in an effort to escape.

Vegeta growled and sat up, the chair legs crashing down to the floor. He knew it – the prince was furious at him. It had taken so long for Vegeta to consider him a friend, and now one stupid thing had ruined everything. He had to get away – maybe Vegeta would calm down enough to forgive him eventually.

Vegeta lunged towards him though, managing to catch his wrist before he could escape. He didn't know what to do anymore – he did one rash thing and their friendship might be over. He hated being alone, but it looked like one little kiss had enraged Vegeta.

"Kakarott," Vegeta purred, curling a hand tightly in the top of Goku's gi and shoving him back against the wall.

"Vegeta…" he said desperately, "I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry. Please don't be mad."

"Kakarott," he said; the sound both smooth and dangerous. Goku didn't know how to respond – he had never heard the low vibration in Vegeta's voice before. The prince released the crushing hold on his wrist, sending chills up Goku's spine as the warmth of his hand slid up his arm. Part of him was thrilled at the touch of Vegeta's skin on his, while another panicking part of him was screaming Vegeta was going to punish him for his indiscretion. He felt Vegeta's strong fingers lacing into his hair and nearly moaned at the touch.

"Why did you stop?" Vegeta didn't give him a chance to answer, tightening his grip and pulling his head down, crushing their mouths together.

Goku was stunned. **_Vegeta_** was kissing _him_? He didn't hesitate any longer, pressing their bodies together, groaning at the sensation of heat against him. He never imagined Vegeta's body could be this hot – it was like being near a fire.

Their tongues touched and he sighed into Vegeta's mouth. Was this what he had been waiting for all along? For Goku to make a move, revealing his weakness for the prince?

Vegeta pulled back just far enough to look at him, his hand still tightly twisted in his shirt. "It took you long enough, Kakarott," he purred.

Goku stared at him wide-eyed. He never expected any of this from Vegeta. "You're not mad at me?"

Vegeta chuckled darkly, and turned, dragging Goku unresisting through the house. "Did I kiss you like I was angry?" he said over his shoulder.

"No," Goku answered, hoping he knew where Vegeta was taking him. "Where are we going?"

"Bedroom," Vegeta responded, pulling him through the doorway. He turned and pulled Goku's head down to his level again and purred into his ear, "I've been waiting a long time for this. Too long. I refuse to wait any longer."

With that, Vegeta released his hold and turned away from him, going into the bathroom. Goku stood there bewildered at his behavior. Considering how Vegeta was acting he expected to have his clothes already ripped off. Vegeta's patience had thrown him; his one impulsive move seemed to have given the prince the advantage yet again.

He heard sounds coming from the room, but now that they had gotten to this point he honestly wasn't sure what Vegeta wanted him to do. Was he supposed to just stand here? He glanced over at the bed, then back at the bathroom and shrugged, beginning to unbutton his shirt.

He only got the first button undone when Vegeta came out of the bathroom, smirking, naked, and very, very aroused. Goku's eyes traveled over the bronze sculpture of his prince and tried to remember how to breathe. "Oh."

Vegeta chuckled and crossed over to him, "You're still dressed, Kakarott."

Goku stammered an agreement as Vegeta began unbuttoning his shirt for him. He slowly reached his hand out, brushing it over Vegeta's warm flesh in wonder. Was that all he had to do to get his prince? Kiss him? If it was that simple why did he wait so long?

He could swear Vegeta was purring as he slid Goku's jeans down past his hips. Burning fingertips traced a line down from his navel to the base of his penis and he felt his knees tremble at the touch. "Vegeta," he moaned, too amazed at the realization this was really happening to say anything else.

He was guided backwards until they fell onto the bed, staring into his prince's dark eyes with wonder. Vegeta wanted him. _Vegeta wanted him_. Had Vegeta been patiently waiting for him to make the first move?

"Patience is a virtue," Vegeta murmured to himself as if in answer to his thoughts before bending to curl his lips around a nipple.

If this were a battle, Goku knew he had already lost. Vegeta's passion was intense and overwhelming, his mouth and hands everywhere, skin hot against his, strong hands stroking his flesh. He had never been able to touch his prince like this before and his fingers caressed sculpted muscles in a frenzied exploration.

"Kakarott," Vegeta growled into his mouth.

"Vegeta," he purred, sliding his fingers through chestnut hair. He was heat against his tongue, tasting better than Goku could have imagined – spice and smoke.

Vegeta drew back enough to stare down at him, eyes narrowing in satisfaction at Goku's moan when he moved his hips. Goku tried to pull him back down, wanting to feel Vegeta's body covering his, but the prince just smirked at him and pushed his hands away.

Within moments he was writhing in wordless ecstasy as Vegeta devoured him, his mouth everywhere. He kissed and licked, sucked and nipped. Goku had yelped in surprise the first time teeth broke his skin, but the heat of Vegeta's tongue instantly soothed away the tiny ache. This intensity was something he had never experienced before – this wasn't the gentle loving he had known in the past. This was an inferno.

He couldn't keep his hands off the prince, trying to touch him everywhere, wanting to know every inch of his skin. He wanted to taste the heat of the flesh against his, but Vegeta wouldn't let him.

"Perfect," Vegeta purred, his smooth hand stroking him from neck to tail scar, his nails making just enough contact to make him shiver. Soft hands squeezed the curve of his ass, fingertips sliding over him, carefully spreading ki-warmed oil over his skin.

"Vegeta," he whimpered, not sure how much more of this marvelous torment he could take, "Please…just…"

"Patience, Kakarott. You must learn patience," Vegeta purred.  
Goku groaned in frustration. Vegeta was determined to move at his own pace, which was soon going to drive him insane.

Finally Vegeta held his hips firmly. "Are you ready, Kakarott?" he asked in a voice that sounded as lust-filled as he felt.

"Yes, yes, yes," he breathed, "Please Vegeta…please."

Thankfully, Vegeta didn't hesitate any longer, nearly making Goku scream. His prince was curled around him and Goku groaned at the feel of flesh against flesh.

All Goku could do was hold onto the shredded bedding, screaming Vegeta's name. Vegeta followed within moments, shouting his name as their bodies trembled together.

They collapsed face-down on the bed; Vegeta sprawled out over Goku's thoroughly sated body.

"Damn it, Kakarott," Vegeta muttered, sliding out of his body and rolling over onto his back beside him, "Next time don't make me wait so long. There's a limit to my patience."

End?


	3. Reward

**Reward**  
**_By Pixelgoddess_**

One-liner – "You wouldn't dare."  
Somehow I have ended up with part 3 of a one-shot – go figure. :D This is a continuation of **Patience** and **Virtue**.

Sigh – these warnings are soooo tedious. Goku/Vegeta. Sex. Kissing. Smut. Yaoi. (Does everyone know what that means?) If I owned them… Hell, if I owned them, there would have been more naked Saiyans, more sex, Goku would have saved Vegeta, and the prince would have been the one to pound the lizard to a pulp.

Another self-censored chapter. sigh You miss so much here, but I'm surprised how many people don't go to sites where you can read the 'real' version. I'm never happy with chopping stories - it doesn't read as well.

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Goku propped himself up on an elbow and watched Vegeta sleep. He still couldn't believe it. He had sex. _With Vegeta_. **_Sex. With Vegeta._**

All he had done was kiss the prince – really nothing more than a cowardly peck. Minutes later he was writhing on the bed as Vegeta _ravished_ him.

He imagined he should have stopped Vegeta and asked him just _why_ this was happening, but honestly, he didn't care. He had had feelings for the prince for years, but never once believed anything would come of it.

Vegeta opened his dark eyes to glare at him sleepily. "Are you going to keep staring at me?" he grumbled, "You woke me up."

"Sorry," Goku smiled. He could have sworn he wasn't making any noise. He was kind of surprised he wasn't as exhausted as the prince, but maybe it was because he still couldn't believe it.

Vegeta muttered something unintelligible and snatched the pillow from under Goku's arm. Before he had a chance to protest, Vegeta hit him once with it before turning on his other side, pillow over his head. "Go to sleep, Kakarott," he mumbled.

He almost laughed – he should have known Vegeta would be a grumpy sleeper. Goku moved closer, taking his pillow back to the sound of drowsy grumbles, and curled around the warmth of his prince's back.

"Are you going to be clingy?" Vegeta muttered, shifting to get more comfortable before finally turning back over to face Goku.

He chuckled, "Probably. Does it bother you?"

Vegeta scowled and moved Goku's arm into position to make a more comfortable pillow. "Don't do it in public," he grumbled, half-asleep.

"You mean you don't want me kissing you at a tournament?" he teased.

"You wouldn't dare," he growled.

Goku smiled to himself as the sleepy prince pressed against his side. He wrapped an arm around Vegeta's waist and closed his eyes. "Go back to sleep, Vegeta."

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Goku quickly put the remains of their meal away, leaving the dirty dishes on the table, fully aware Vegeta was in the bedroom… waiting. For him. He was already achingly hard thinking about it. He still didn't understand how the prince could be so calm and in control – and so damn _patient_ - through all of this. Once Vegeta had kissed him back Goku had been totally off balance – while he wanted that reaction from the prince, he had never really expected it. He wasn't sure what he had expected, but an obviously experienced, sexually confident Vegeta was not on the list; compared to him, Goku was a nervous virgin.

"Get your ass in here, Kakarott!" Vegeta called, "You've stalled long enough."

Goku blushed. He wasn't stalling, was he? "I'm coming," he replied, wiping his hands clean.

"Not yet," Vegeta snorted, amused, "But you will."

Goku laughed. This was so different than what he expected. "Who are you and what did you do with Ve-?" He turned the corner and forgot how to breathe. Vegeta was…_displayed_…naked on the bed, one hand slowly stroking himself, the other playing with a nipple. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the seductive sight, fully aware of Vegeta's dark eyes on him, amused at his reaction.

"Breathe, Kakarott," he chuckled, "Breathe."

He finally managed to take in a breath that sounded much too loud. This – this- for him? Somehow Goku managed to untie and drop his gi-pants, stepping out of them with surprising ease, not tripping over his suddenly awkward feet.

"Very smooth," Vegeta smirked, tossing him a bottle that he caught without thinking. "At this rate we're going to run out of oil soon. If you use as much as you should on me, we'll need to get more tomorrow."

Goku stood beside the bed and stared down into Vegeta's bright black eyes. This couldn't be happening. He had to be unconscious – or dead – and this was his reward for all of his good deeds. That was the only possible explanation for this fantasy come true. There was no way Vegeta was telling him he could…Vegeta wanted him to…he was going to – to – 

"Kakarott, get your ass down here. You _do_ know what to do with that oil, don't you?"

Goku blushed angrily, "Of course I do." Granted, this had been the first time he had actually been with anyone other than Chichi, but he had seen pictures and read about it. Roshi had been an equal-opportunity pervert, after all. The old man might have preferred sex with big- breasted women, but that didn't stop him from drooling over _any_ kind of sex, male or female.

Vegeta leered, "I'm running out of patience. You wouldn't want me to skip your turn and fuck you mindless again, would you?" He added a little groan as he continued to stroke himself.

Goku quickly climbed onto the bed, straddling the prince's legs. Suddenly unsure how to proceed, he stared down at his prince, admiring the body so close to his. He'd never really been able to study Vegeta's flesh so completely before and he didn't want to waste the opportunity since he wasn't sure if this whole experience was a fluke. He could feel the heat pouring off both their bodies; it seemed it was almost enough to distort the air between them.

Vegeta moved his strong fingers over Goku's flesh. "Touch me, Kakarott," he purred, intently watching his reaction.

Goku traced a curious finger over a scar that ran from shoulder to navel, noticing with pleasure how Vegeta's breath caught before escaping in a rattling sigh. He followed the path back up with his thumb, smiling to himself as Vegeta's eyes fluttered closed, breaking the intense gaze he had been subject to. Fingertips brushed over his prince's skin and felt a tiny ripple in Vegeta's ki at the touch.

Goku looked back at his face, not surprised to find amused dark eyes studying him again. He wondered if he could get Vegeta to make that little gasp again.

Vegeta's skin was amazingly soft to the touch, warm velvet expanses broken by slick scars that added to his beauty instead of detracting. Goku had never realized how much more appealing old battle injuries could make his prince. He let his fingers skim randomly over the bronze skin, listening for the shaky breaths that told him he had found a sensitive area.

Resting his hand lightly on his prince's throat let him feel the pulse through his fingertips. He could feel the glide of his Adam's apple as Vegeta swallowed against his palm.

"Kakarott," Vegeta breathed, his voice warm against the fingertips tracing his lips.

He smiled to himself at the needy sound of his name and bent to touch them with his own. Vegeta made a tiny groan, drawing Goku's tongue into his mouth. Goku moaned against him, feeling the rising heat as more of their flesh made contact.

He drew back, gasping for air, watching as Vegeta licked his lips with satisfaction, black eyes heavy with lust. Goku slid his fingers into his prince's flame of hair and tipped his head to expose more of his neck. Vegeta groaned and trembled against him as Goku kissed and licked a path down his body, savoring the heat and musk that filled his senses.

He had never imagined how good Vegeta could taste, every inch having a slightly different flavor. Goku was sure he could identify each nipple or each rise of muscle by taste alone. Vegeta had finally lost his cool, controlled façade, and was writhing and moaning beneath him, clutching at and curling around Goku tighter with each passing moment.

Goku whimpered in protest when Vegeta stopped his worship, using his hair to draw him close enough to look at him with smoldering black eyes.

"Kakarott," he purred, "What are you waiting for?"

Goku growled in mock annoyance. "You're awfully pushy."

"Of course I am," Vegeta barked a laugh, "I'm your prince. It's what I do."

Goku grinned, thoroughly enamored of this relaxed, confident Vegeta. "Aren't you the one who was proclaiming the value of patience?" he said, sliding into heat.

"Kakarotttt," Vegeta moaned, curling his legs around Goku's waist as they moved together.

Vegeta's eyes were closed, his mouth open in a vain attempt to gulp in air as his head thrashed on the bed. Goku could feel himself getting close, his body tightening in preparation.

"Vegeta," he gasped, barely able to speak, "Open your eyes. Look at me."

The prince groaned at the near impossibility of the task, but did what he asked. Vegeta's eyes were dark with lust, locking onto his as Goku stroked him.

Vegeta's whole body trembled, his fingers digging deep into his shoulders as he clenched around Goku's entire body as they shuddered to completion together.

He stared down at the smirking prince, shaking in reaction. He still couldn't believe that had happened – and Vegeta had wanted it. Even if it never happened again, he didn't think he would ever forget what an amazing feeling it was.

Vegeta dragged his head down, capturing him for a demanding kiss, chuckling into his mouth. Their tongues danced, each ravishing the other in a mock battle.

When his prince finally released him to breathe his own air, Goku gazed at him in wonder. All it took was a kiss.

"So, Kakarott," he smirked, "Ready to do that again?"


	4. Hesitation

**Patience**  
**_By Pixelgoddess_**

Summary – Vegeta has had his eye on Goku for years, but isn't willing to make the first move. Will either of them bend?

This started out life as a series of one-shots, with required sentences – first 'Why did you stop?', then 'I've been waiting a long time for this' and 'You wouldn't dare.' Now look what has happened – it's taken on a life of its own.

Pairings – oh please – I almost never write anything _but_ Goku and Vegeta. What do you think?  
Warnings – This is **me** you are talking about – expect smut and angst, pretty much in equal measure. With enough sap to thin it out. Goku/Vegeta. Sex. Kissing. Smut. Yaoi. (Does everyone know what that means?)  
A disclaimer too? sighs Would I worry about paying my bills if I owned them? Hell, if I owned them, there would have been more naked Saiyans, more sex, Goku would have saved Vegeta, and the prince would have been the one to pound the lizard to a pulp.

Yes, another of my edited chapters - I keep asking myself why I'm doing this, although I suspect it is because I am something of a review whore. :D

**Chapter 4 - Hesitation**

Vegeta followed Kakarott into his comfortable little house, admiring the view of the Saiyan in front of him.

Kakarott glanced over his shoulder, catching him looking at his ass. Vegeta smirked unapologetically; the younger Saiyan had a perfect ass, after all.

"You're here earlier than usual," Kakarott grinned.

He shrugged and crossed his arms, watching Kakarott move around the kitchen. "Capsule Corp is doing some emergency systems recovery tests." He scowled – there were still some bugs to work out in the backup operating system; Bulma would never have tolerated such a sloppy arrangement. "They've managed to shut down my gravity room twice – 'non-critical system' my ass. I decided I'd rather be here."

Kakarott nodded in understanding, "Well, I'm glad you are. What do you want to do today?"

Vegeta grinned – Kakarott was _always_ glad to see him. "Eat…fuck…fight…"

"In that order?" Kakarott laughed.

He moved closer to Kakarott, trailing teasing fingers over the sculpted chest. "I could be persuaded to consider eat, fuck, fight, fuck," he purred.

"It's nice to know you have some priorities," Kakarott chuckled and wrapped his arms around him, drawing him close, trapping Vegeta's hand between them and kissing him hungrily. When they finally separated for air Kakarott was flush and panting. "Vegeta – do you have any idea how much I l-."

Vegeta looked up at him curiously. Kakarott had been doing that quite a bit lately – starting to say something, and then interrupting himself. He wished he knew what was going on in his head; this kind of self censoring wasn't like him. "What?"

Kakarott looked at him strangely before smiling again. "Nothing. We can do whatever you want."

Vegeta smirked, "Make offers like that, Kakarott, and you are never getting out of bed." He wasn't surprised when the younger Saiyan blushed; it was something Vegeta enjoyed seeing. He had quickly discovered Kakarott still did it anytime he thought about sex with 'his prince'. He brushed his fingertips over Kakarott's sensitive tailspot just to hear him gasp in pleasure. "And don't forget – it's my turn today."

-------------------

Vegeta smiled to himself, enjoying the feel of Kakarott's body against his. As usual, Kakarott had clung to him, nuzzling and kissing him lazily as he came down from the euphoric high of orgasm. It was a pity he had wasted so much time waiting to seduce the man, but he had to admit it had been worth it. Kakarott was an eager and enthusiastic bedmate and a more than willing pupil.

Vegeta pulled him closer, pressing his chest against the warmth of Kakarott's back, feeling the sleepy purrs vibrating through him. He inhaled the Saiyan scent and sighed in pleasure. If this wasn't perfection, it was damn close.

He hadn't wanted to admit it, but he had been lonely since Bulma's death. The few times he had sex with other humans had been unsatisfying; there was something about being with Kakarott that made him relaxed and content. It had been a long time since he had wanted to stay in the company of a bedmate for more than a few minutes after they were done fucking. Now he wished he didn't have to return to his rooms at Capsule Corp after experiencing Kakarott's heat; he still didn't know why Kakarott didn't ask him to stay. More than once he had considered asking, but he always hesitated, unwilling to push for more, not wanting to give him a chance to refuse outright.

The occasional sense that Kakarott was holding back disturbed him. It was so unlike the younger Saiyan – he was usually so open and unreserved. But the little pauses, the way he stopped in mid-sentence…Kakarott was keeping something hidden from him. He had started to ask more than once, but always hesitated; he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.

His fingertips drifted over Kakarott's sculpted body, ki trickling over the pale flesh. The younger Saiyan moaned in pleasure, his ki sparking in response to the caress. Vegeta sighed as Kakarott's own energy reached out and wrapped around him of its on volition. His power was so different from any Vegeta had experienced before – the scouters had made him blind to the energy surrounding them, but Kakarott taught him to see.

Vegeta brushed his energy over him again and froze at the strange way Kakarott's ki responded; it was almost an echo. He frowned as an old memory came to the surface unbidden. It couldn't be true; it just wasn't possible. He created another gentle wave of energy and sighed in frustration at the distinct way Kakarott's ki responded. How was this missed? Kakarott should never have been allowed to leave Vegeta-sei.

What was he going to do now?

--------------------

As he flew to Kakarott's cabin, Vegeta scowled to himself. He had waited another two days, telling himself he hesitated telling the younger Saiyan what had happened because he wanted to be sure he was correct. He knew he was lying to himself, though.

The truth was, he was both hoping and dreading Kakarott would recognize the truth on his own. He didn't really want to be the one to tell him – it would require a degree of communication he had never been comfortable with. But he also didn't want Kakarott to find out on his own because he might believe Vegeta had deliberately kept it secret. What made it more difficult was the realization Vegeta didn't know how he would react. Everything would change because of this – would their comfortable friendship become even stronger, or would it be over?

He opened the door of the cabin and took a deep breath. It was time to face the consequences. "Kakarott?" he called, wondering where the younger Saiyan was. It was rare for him to get this far into the house without being greeted by Kakarott's smile.

He shook his head and headed to the kitchen. Kakarott must be cooking and got distracted. "Ka—_Shit!_"

Kakarott was lying face down on the tile floor, surrounded by broken dishes and spilled food. Vegeta rushed to his side, a chill of fear running through him. His ki was off and there was blood on the floor by his head. He carefully rolled the unconscious man on his back, afraid of how much damage he would find. He must have passed out, hitting his head on the counter as he fell. There were cuts and bruises on Kakarott's chin, and apparently he had bitten through his lip from the force of impact. The deep gash in his forehead was still bleeding profusely.

"Kakarott," he said softly, checking his pulse and breathing. He should have warned him – told him as soon as he knew. Kakarott would have been more prepared for the changes and maybe this wouldn't have happened. At the very least, he should have insisted on staying with Kakarott, keeping an eye on him. It was too late for that now – he had to deal with events as they were, not as they should have been. Vegeta didn't hesitate – Kakarott was injured and there were no senzu available right now. He picked up the limp body, holding his friend close, and headed to the Lookout. He needed Dende's help.

As he arrived, Piccolo took one look at the pair of them, raising an eyeridge in criticism, but fortunately not voicing his thoughts. "Follow me. Dende will meet us there."

As Vegeta carefully sat down on the indicated bed, his arms still supporting Kakarott against his side. He could feel both Nameks studying them curiously. Kakarott's ki was totally off balance, and he began feeding his own to the younger Saiyan, trying to level his power to a more comfortable level. He doubted they understood exactly what they were sensing, but he was sure they would know soon enough – this wasn't something that could be concealed for long.

"What happened?" Dende asked, even as he began healing the injuries. Vegeta scowled at the question, but was relieved when the blood finally stopped flowing.

He resisted the urge to shift under Piccolo's scrutiny. "Just heal him."

"These aren't sparring injuries. What happened, Vegeta?" Piccolo demanded.

Vegeta glared, "None of your damn business, Namek."

Dende took one of Kakarott's hands in his, healing burns Vegeta hadn't even noticed. Liquid from one of the pots falling off the stove must have scalded him as well. "I need to know," he said gently, "So I can make sure he is healed so this won't happen again."

Vegeta sighed and shifted Kakarott so he was more comfortable in his arms, head resting on his shoulder. "He passed out. Fell. Hit his head on the counter."

"That would explain these injuries, then," Dende said. "They really aren't very bad – just the typical bloody head wound. I'm just concerned about his ki. It seems to be shifting – recentering…"

Vegeta swallowed. They were too close to the truth. He didn't want Kakarott to find out like this. He had foolishly hoped he could have Kakarott healed and quickly return home. He could feel Piccolo's eyes on him, the intensity reminding him the Namek and Kakarott were old friends. He saw the instant when Piccolo identified what was different and felt the momentary flash of accusation.

"Vegeta…" he said warningly.

"It's none of your damn business," he snapped.

"Goku's my friend. I'm _making_ it my business."

"He's my—."

"What in the hell are you going to say, Vegeta?" Piccolo said angrily, "He belongs to you? He's your subject?"

"Namek…" he growled. He could feel Kakarott coming to – the bastard was going to ruin everything.

"That's bullshit Vegeta, and you know it. I knew Goku having sex with you was a huge mistake, but he wouldn't listen. You don't care about him at all, do you?"

"Shut up, you asshole. You don't know what in the fuck you are talking about." Not like this. Please not like this. Kakarott was awake – he could feel the drowsy nuzzling against his neck.

"I can't believe Goku even agreed to this," Piccolo snapped.

Dende glanced back and forth, trying to understand what was making them both so angry. "What? What is it?"

"Piccolo?" Kakarott asked in a soft voice, "Why are you two arguing? What's wrong?"

"_What's wrong?_ Damn it, Goku, I can't believe let this arrogant bastard get you pregnant."

TBC


	5. Hindrance

**Patience**  
**_By Pixelgoddess_**

Summary – Vegeta has had his eye on Goku for years, but isn't willing to make the first move. Will either of them bend?

This started out life as a series of one-shots, with required sentences – first 'Why did you stop?', then 'I've been waiting a long time for this' and 'You wouldn't dare.' Now look what has happened – it's taken on a life of its own.

Pairings – oh please – I almost never write anything _but_ Goku and Vegeta. What do you think?  
Warnings – This is **me** you are talking about – expect smut and angst, pretty much in equal measure. With enough sap to thin it out. Goku/Vegeta. Sex. Kissing. Smut. Yaoi. (Does everyone know what that means?) And now that the cat is out of the bag – mpreg.  
A disclaimer too? sighs Would I worry about paying my bills if I owned them? Hell, if I owned them, there would have been more naked Saiyans, more sex, Goku would have saved Vegeta, and the prince would have been the one to pound the lizard to a pulp.

**Chapter 5 - Hindrance**

"_What's wrong?_ Damn it, Goku, I can't believe let this arrogant bastard get you pregnant."

"You _asshole_," Vegeta hissed as he felt the sudden tension in Kakarott's body.

"Ve-Vegeta?" Kakarott whispered, drawing back and staring at him in shock. "Is it—?" he began before interrupting himself and passing his hand over his abdomen. "_It is_," he choked out before Vegeta could respond.

Kakarott suddenly pushed himself off the bed, and looked at Piccolo and Vegeta accusingly. "I can't believe you--," he said before covering his mouth and running from the room

"Goku!" "Kakarott!"

Dende moved to block them from leaving as the sound of Kakarott vomiting reached their ears. "Both of you stay here," he commanded. "You've caused enough trouble. I'll take care of Goku. And frankly Piccolo," he said over his shoulder as he left the room, "I'm ashamed of how you treated him. Is that anyway to talk to a friend?"

"I should kill you," Vegeta snarled as the Guardian left the room. "The _only_ reason you are still alive is because it would bother Kakarott." He could hear the distraught voice of the younger Saiyan; even if he couldn't understand what was being said it was obvious he was upset.

"Goku should never have gotten involved with you," Piccolo said under his breath.

"Jealous? Get over it. You had plenty of time to try to get Kakarott to have sex with you."

"I'm asexual, you ass. I'm not going to have sex with anyone."

"Your loss," Vegeta smirked.

"Oh, please." Piccolo shook his head in disgust. "Honestly, Vegeta! I know while you've been on earth you've been with others besides Bulma. How can you treat him like that? Did you consider it a challenge to seduce Goku? Add him to the list? You _know_ how he is."

"They were just…" Just humans, he almost said. Bulma was special, but the others were good for nothing but a quick fuck; a few minutes of warmth and contact – an outlet, nothing more. He shook his head as he realized it was pointless trying to explain it to someone who had never experienced that release. "You wouldn't understand."

He knew why the Namek was angry with him – hell, he was angry with himself. He should have been more careful. Why didn't he consider the possibility of this happening?

"Did you do this deliberately? Did you go after him just so you could get him pregnant? Did you?" Piccolo demanded, moving closer, practically towering over him in his fury.

"No!" Vegeta snapped, glaring back at him.

"He's your friend!" Piccolo continued, ignoring his denial, "How can you manipulate him like this – using him just so you can have another Saiyan to lord over? _He cares about you!_"

Vegeta sighed and leaned back on the bed, all fight suddenly drained from him at the words. He had already asked himself the same questions. "I didn't manipulate Kakarott in this. I didn't know he could get pregnant," he muttered. At the moment he wanted nothing more than to go to Kakarott, but somehow he knew this was not the right time. He could feel his ki stabilizing – now that Kakarott knew what was happening to him he must be getting control over his energy again.

"How could you not know?" Piccolo asked, disbelief obvious.

"You don't understand – this wasn't common. I thought all the _tasan_ – bearing males - were dead…destroyed with Vegeta-sei. It should have been detected at birth– Kakarott would never have been allowed off-planet." In a way, the fact it had been missed was a miracle – like so much associated with Kakarott.

Piccolo frowned, some of his anger fading and stepped back to lean against the wall. "Say I believe you. Bearing males _are_ rare – Kami knew of only two races – neither of them Saiyan. So how did this happen? "

Vegeta shrugged. He had been so young when his home was destroyed – there was a limit to what he knew. "Tasan is a mutation. I think it was tied to some recessive genes. It was occurring often enough to be detectable, but not to predict ahead of time. The Tuffles used to do genetic manipulation on Saiyans – one of the reasons we destroyed them. We lost a lot of their research when that happened so we never knew if this was deliberate or a side-effect."

He fell silent trying to remember the little he knew about tasans. By the time he was old enough to study the science behind it, the point was moot; they were all gone and he was struggling just to survive himself. He had learned the mutation wasn't complete, but was valued because the resulting child was usually Elite in their power. The growing infant's ki would put occasional huge, unexpected drains on the tasan's ki; the most likely reason Kakarott passed out. Now that Kakarott knew, he could monitor his own ki, making a recurrence less likely, but not impossible. Vegeta shuddered to himself as he visualized what would have happened if Kakarott's ki had failed him in flight. If the only difficulty was maintaining ki, there would be no issue – Vegeta could provide enough ki for the three of them. No…another huge hurdle would be the problem of delivering the child; the male Saiyan body hadn't adapted for natural childbirth. In order to have this baby, Kakarott would have to have surgery – on a planet where males did not have children, making him a medical curiosity. There were very good reasons for tasans to remain close to home, the primary reason being their own safety.

"We need to learn more about tasans. I don't remember enough to know what to expect. I _do_ know he can't do this alone," he finally said. "If Kakarott won't let me—." He shook his head just barely hiding his despair. Everything had gone wrong; he had been so comfortable with Kakarott, but now an unknown genetic anomaly could cause him to lose everything he had come to value. "If he won't accept it from me you are going to have to help him through this."

Piccolo looked down at the ground, not meeting his eyes as he asked, "Goku didn't know he was pregnant, did he?"

Vegeta shook his head, "No. I just realized it myself a few days ago – I was going to tell him today." He growled angrily, "But now you've fucked that up. He's going to think I deliberately hid the truth from him. He might never forgive me for this."

Piccolo sighed, "I'm sorry, Vegeta. I really thought—."

"You thought wrong. I wasn't trying to hurt him," he scowled.

"What are you going to do now? Are you going to stay with him?"

"I want to, but…" He sighed; he might want to, but if Kakarott shared Piccolo's opinion of his motives, there was probably little chance of that. "It's up to him, isn't it?"

--------------------

Vegeta flew towards Kakarott's ki, trying to decide what to say – what to do. He'd never once considered this possibility, and now that he was faced with it he found it difficult to know how to handle it. He wasn't even sure…if he had known Kakarott could become pregnant would he have…? No. He had changed. Maybe…he would have when he first arrived on this planet. He couldn't lie to himself – if he had known then he would have found a way to tie Kakarott to him, convincing him to bear an entire pack, regardless of the consequences. A full blooded Saiyan – a child of two Super Saiyans… It wasn't feasible to rebuild his race, but the possibilities…

He shook his head in denial. No. He had come to value Kakarott too much to think of him that way. Even from this distance he could feel the anger – the confusion…the _hurt_ in Kakarott's ki. Did he blame Vegeta for this? He wanted to defend himself; he didn't know. How could he have?

When he finally located the younger Saiyan he wasn't totally surprised to find he was close enough to see the waterfall where the Namek frequently meditated. He had been surprised to realize just how much Piccolo knew about their 'relationship'. What else had Kakarott told him?

He landed some distance away and hesitated. Kakarott was sitting on the ground, head bowed, rubbing his stomach. Vegeta frowned; sure he was going to lose the comfort of that warm _Saiyan_ body next to his.

"Kakarott," he said, announcing his presence. Not sure of what to do, he just walked closer. The other Saiyan didn't acknowledge him for several long minutes, just staring at the waterfall.

"Did you know this would happen?" Kakarott finally asked, his voice soft.

Vegeta sat on the ground beside him, "No. I wouldn't have hidden this from you."

Kakarott was silent again, plucking absently at the grass next to him. "Can you get pregnant too?"

He sighed and shook his head, "No. _Tasan_ was a relatively rare mutation. I don't know why it wasn't detected – they were supposed to test all newborns for it." Kakarott remained quiet, refusing to look at him as Vegeta told him what little he knew. He couldn't tell if it was what Kakarott needed or even wanted to hear.

"They have to cut me open?" Kakarott whispered, horrified.

Vegeta lowered his head. He knew Kakarott's fear of needles – he had teased him about it often enough. That alone might make him unwilling to allow this pregnancy to continue; better a small surgery now than a major operation later. "Yes."

"Oh," he said softly.

Kakarott didn't say anything else for long seconds, fingertips absently tracing over his stomach. "I'm pregnant," he finally said, swallowing hard at the word. "_I'm really pregnant_. I shouldn't even be alive; I should have died with Vegeta-sei because of this. That's a good thing, right? A miracle. So why don't I know how to feel…?"

"Kakarott… you don't have to…" he began, trying to ignore the voice screaming '_my blood, my heir_' in his head.

"Don't you want it?" Kakarott asked in disbelief.

"I wouldn't force you to go through with this." He couldn't demand the younger Saiyan go through this, no matter how much he wanted to. "I would understand," he continued softly. He had waited so long for Kakarott - the perfect partner- and now he was suddenly afraid he could lose him; would they ever be able to forgive each other for this?

Kakarott stared at him in shock. "Vegeta…it's a full-blooded Saiyan – _our child_. I would never…" he trailed off, turning away to study the grass by his feet. "I just don't know how I can do this alone," he whispered. "I know how hard it was for Chichi, and I just…"

Vegeta felt an ache inside; why didn't Kakarott ever let him stay? "Kakarott, I— You don't have to do this alone; you _can't_. I will… Piccolo…"

"Piccolo? He's my friend, but he's not…he's not _you_." The younger Saiyan shook his head in sadness, "What's happening Vegeta? The first time I kissed you – it was so hard to do – I was terrified you would be angry…but for so long I had wanted to… and then you-."

He understood that fear – to an extent he had experienced it himself. But in the time since that concern didn't seem to fade – instead he felt increasingly frustrated. His joy at finally getting to touch Kakarott like that was overshadowed by the realization he wasn't getting **all** of him; the sex was great, but… "I seduced you."

Kakarott nodded, silent again. Vegeta watched the side of his face, trying to interpret the expressions, dreading what might be said next. His patience was at the limit; he wanted to demand instant answers, but surprised himself when he hesitated for Kakarott's sake. He didn't want to drive the younger Saiyan away, but he needed to know. Was this the end of their friendship? Would he lose his… his partner because of this?

"Is that all I am?" Kakarott asked, voice barely above a whisper. "One of your conquests? Just another…_fuck_?" His voice rose, but he refused to look at Vegeta. "What am I to you? What are we doing? Is it just sex?"

Vegeta stared at him, astounded, suddenly unsure how to respond, hearing Piccolo's fears in Kakarott's words. For some reason he couldn't summon anger at the accusation, only regret. If all he wanted was sex, he would have seduced him long ago. He was glad now he hadn't done that; if he had gone after Kakarott back when he first noticed him, back before the androids arrived, it would have been out of anger. Vegeta would have done everything possible to hurt him, using things he had learned to destroy Kakarott. If that had happened, he'd have no chance of having the companionship he had now. But he couldn't admit that.

_He knew_ – he knew if he answered wrong Kakarott would never understand. "Is that what you want?" he asked, dreading the answer; he had changed over the years, and he suddenly realized he wanted much more. Couldn't Kakarott see that? Didn't he know how much Vegeta hated leaving his side at the end of the day?

Kakarott turned on him, obviously disappointed. "How can you ask that? Don't you know? Can't you see?" He turned away again and beat a frustrated fist on the ground. "I can't go on like this Vegeta," he continued in a soft voice. "It hurts too much. I love you."

Vegeta just barely managed to hide his startled intake of breath as Kakarott looked at him, dark eyes unable to hide the pain. "I've loved you for years; I would do anything for you." He swallowed hard. "Anything but stay with you like this, Vegeta. I love you, but I can't let myself just be used by you. If all we are doing is _fucking_, then I can't do this anymore."

He experienced a painful flash of insight. _This_ is what Kakarott was keeping from him. How could he have been so blind? Why hadn't Kakarott – normally so open – said something before this? It would have made things so much easier. What should he tell him? It was true he always wanted to be near the younger Saiyan, and he could no longer deny how attached he was – but--?

"_Love?_" he breathed in disbelief, completely thrown by the unexpected confession.

Vegeta didn't doubt Kakarott was his friend – or had been before this day had started. But he was Saiyan, not human, and some part of Vegeta never expected to hear this human emotion directed at a fellow Saiyan. He knew it wasn't Kakarott's fault for not understanding, but Vegeta just couldn't make himself simplify something so complex and Saiyan with a weak human word.

Love? He had heard "I love you" and "I love chocolate" spoken with the same passion – he might speak the language but he didn't understand how humans allowed the word to become so meaningless. Bulma had used the term often enough with him – but she had also 'loved' her car, a favorite TV show, or a new dress.

Apparently he took too long to respond, because Kakarott got to his feet. "That's okay, Vegeta. I knew you didn't feel the same – I just wanted—."

"Kakarott--" he began, rising to his feet as well. He couldn't let the other man leave – not like this. "Wait."

At times like this he wished Kakarott had grown up with other Saiyans. It was difficult – nearly impossible, he mused – to explain concepts Vegeta took for granted. He wouldn't have to explain himself to someone who grew up Saiyan – the language of scents and tails would have communicated so much more than these human words could. If they still had their tails, maybe he would have known how Kakarott felt, but without them he was blind to many things. He knew this confusion would never have happened with someone like Radditz. He sighed in frustration. 'Love' wasn't right, but Kakarott knew no others and Vegeta couldn't make himself use such an empty term. He just didn't know how he could make Kakarott see that.

"It's alright," Kakarott said sadly, lifting his fingers towards his forehead, "we're still friends; we can spar… I'm glad I had the chance to get close to you. I liked ma- having sex with you. I don't regret it; I just wish--"

"Please stay," he said, capturing Kakarott's wrist, not at all happy with the realization what he had seen as perfection was actually hurting Kakarott in ways he didn't really understand. He knew he had hurt Bulma like this even if he didn't mean to, and now he was doing the same thing all over again. It was obvious to him now - he couldn't remain silent on this. He had to _tell_ Kakarott what he meant to him. His patience – his hesitation – had become more of a hindrance than a help.

He swallowed and tried to think of how to explain. He wasn't like Kakarott – he couldn't just blurt out all of his emotions. Anger, hatred – yes. They just poured out and drowned whoever was near. But this?

"Do you remember the times we've fought side-by-side – how perfectly we fit? When we spar--" He almost smiled to himself as he recalled the last time they had sparred only a few days ago, before this mess started. They had been so perfectly in sync, knowing exactly how the other was going to move and react, that neither managed to strike a single blow. Instead, it turned in to something like a perfectly choreographed dance, with punches and kicks brushing by with millimeters to spare.

He let his thumb rub the inside of Kakarott's wrist, trying to be gentle, willing him to understand. The younger Saiyan was empathic – maybe he could hear what Vegeta couldn't say. "Do you remember when we fought Buu – when we joined our attacks together to fight him? Even though the fusion had ended, I could still feel you. Do you remember?" He still remembered the perfection of that moment – even now he would wake up in the middle of the night in joy at the memory before realizing it was just a dream and knowing the pain of loss and regret at losing that feeling. Maybe that was one of the reasons he stayed as close to Kakarott as possible – because he hoped to experience that again.

"Yes," Kakarott said hesitantly, "But that's fighting – sparring. There has to be more."

"There is," he protested quickly before snapping his mouth shut quickly. Why couldn't he just say it? Tell Kakarott he '_loved_' him – make him happy. He knew why – because it wasn't true – they were Saiyan and he meant more to him than any human word could express. And Saiyans didn't say it. "That…_partnership_…doesn't happen just when we fight. Haven't you felt it? How we…?" He was wrong – he couldn't tell Kakarott and he couldn't make him stay. The chasm of language was too great.

"Vegeta…" he said slowly, "are you trying to say you love me?"

"That's a human term, Kakarott – and we are not humans."

"I--"

"You are Saiyan, Kakarott. You may have been raised by humans, but I know you are Saiyan. I've seen it, felt it, scented it…" He released Kakarott's wrist and closed his eyes. All he had to do was say that human word and Kakarott would be satisfied – but as much as Kakarott would not accept 'just sex' he could not accept 'just love'. He meant more to Vegeta than that.

"Vegeta?" Kakarott said softly, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"I can't just use a word to make you stay," he finally said. "I hadn't realized how much I needed you before I realized I could lose you."

"You won't lose me, Vegeta."

"Won't I? Kakarott – you're _Saiyan_ – I just can't…" He groaned in frustration. Why was this so difficult?

"Shhhh…" Kakarott said softly, fingertips brushing over his cheek. "I understand. It's not something we say is it?"

For an instant he felt a thrill of pride – it was rare for Kakarott to acknowledge who he was. "We don't have to – we _know_. Love isn't how Saiyans…" he whispered.

"It's okay Vegeta – you don't have to say it. You've been my friend for a long time and I was happy to be your lover. I've never shared so much with _anyone_ before. I'm glad I mean something special to you." Kakarott hesitated, unsure for a moment, "I do, don't I?"

"You challenge me – infuriate me – confuse me – but mostly, you make me happy. I…need you." He almost said Kakarott would need him as well if he decided to keep the baby, but he didn't want to force him to decide that way.

Kakarott wrapped his arms around him, drawing him closer. Vegeta let himself return the hold, enjoying the warmth and the steady beating of Kakarott's heart.

"Vegeta," he said, nuzzling his hair, "I needed you long before I got pregnant. That's just a bonus. I was upset because I got scared – I thought you would leave me because of it. I knew I cared about you, but I wasn't sure then how you felt about me. Finding out I was going to have a baby made all of those fears real."

Kakarott smiled and kissed him quickly, not giving him a chance to respond. "But Vegeta – I was raised by humans – taught to say 'I love you'. It's all I know. You'll have to teach me how Saiyans behave when they are a couple. Until then, I'm going to have to keep telling you. You don't have to say anything – just stay with me and our baby and I will know how you feel."

"You're keeping the baby?" Vegeta asked, thrilled but not willing to show it yet.

"Of course I am – there was never any question. But Vegeta…will you do something for me? Please?"

Vegeta nodded, "If I can."

"Stop leaving every night?"

Vegeta looked at him in surprise, "I never wanted to leave at all. You never asked me, so I thought you didn't want me to stay."

Kakarott suddenly laughed and held him tighter. "We are going to have to work on our communication, aren't we? I think we've both wanted the same thing all along." He pressed their lips together, and Vegeta practically purred in happiness at the familiar taste as their tongues teased each other. When they separated, Kakarott stared at him with an intensity that made Vegeta shiver. "Vegeta," he whispered, "Stay with me. Never leave."


	6. Confusion

**Patience**  
**_By Pixelgoddess_**

Summary – Vegeta has had his eye on Goku for years, but isn't willing to make the first move. Will either of them bend?  
This started out life as a series of one-shots, with required sentences – first 'Why did you stop?', then 'I've been waiting a long time for this' and 'You wouldn't dare.' Now look what has happened – it's taken on a life of its own.  
Pairings – oh please – I almost never write anything but Goku and Vegeta. What do you think?  
Warnings – This is me you are talking about – expect smut and angst, pretty much in equal measure. With enough sap to thin it out. Goku/Vegeta. Sex. Kissing. Smut. Yaoi. (Does everyone know what that means?) And now that the cat is out of the bag – mpreg.  
A disclaimer too? sighs Would I worry about paying my bills if I owned them? Hell, if I owned them, there would have been more naked Saiyans, more sex, Goku would have saved Vegeta, and the prince would have been the one to pound the lizard to a pulp.

**Chapter 6 - Confusion**

Goku floated in the clouds, enjoying the feel of their moisture against his skin. He and Vegeta had finished training – if you could call it that – just minutes ago and he had decided to fly off his frustration.

He was only two months into what he had learned with shock would be a _twelve month_ pregnancy, and he was already struggling with the changes to his body and ki. Saiyan babies were born more developed than human, but **twelve months**? It hardly seemed fair. Dende had warned him that in many ways the first quarter would be the worst as his body adapted to carry a baby, but for some reason he had never expected it to be as difficult as this. He had accepted there would be good days and bad days, but there had been more bad days lately, and today had been one of the worst so far.

Vegeta was still willing to spar with him, although at a much tamer level than what they were used to. Goku hadn't minded too much – they were doing it to protect their baby, after all. Besides, under their self-imposed rules they were evenly matched.

Today though – today all of his efforts were futile. His ki fluctuated unpredictably, making it difficult to concentrate. At least he hadn't passed out again – that one time had been more than enough.

Vegeta hadn't gotten angry with him when Goku's ki spiked without warning, the resulting blow sending the prince slamming against a mountain, but Goku had been horrified at his lack of control; he could have killed his prince. Vegeta had become upset, though, when Goku's ki slipped, leaving him vulnerable; the prince had nearly hurt himself pulling his punch at the last moment.

Vegeta had immediately declared an end to their training for the day, telling him he had to be more careful now, completely ignoring Goku's insistence that, given time, he could get this under control. The prince had only glared and commanded him to stop, not even retaliating, when Goku swung at him, trying to force Vegeta to continue their spar.

Goku sighed and rolled on his back, watching the way the sunlight filtered through the clouds, sending rainbows of light scattering through the mist. The baby was at it again, making his ki…_flutter_…even while Goku tried to figure out how to feed the energy to his child at a more even pace.

He shouldn't have gotten so mad at Vegeta, but he hated the realization that the longer this pregnancy progressed, the more he would have to give up. Sometimes he just wanted to scream how unfair this all was. He had hardly had a chance to be with Vegeta as a lover or…_something_ – and now they were going to be **_parents_**. It was too soon – he wasn't ready. There were moments when he didn't think they ever could be. He tried to remember if felt they were when Chichi was pregnant with Gohan…probably, but maybe it was just because they were too young to know any better.

He just wished he knew how Vegeta _really_ felt about him and the baby. Sometimes Goku was sure he cared – loved him even, but other times…? He just couldn't seem to shake that lingering doubt; Vegeta had always been something of a mystery to him.

It was weird - there were times lately when the prince would look and act as if he knew exactly what was going on in Goku's head, but he never seemed to be able to do the same. It was too bad really, that his empathy had never worked completely with Vegeta – and now it didn't seem to work at all. He treasured the glimpses he had gotten of his prince's mind, but they only left him hungry for more.

It was so frustrating – before, Goku could see into nearly everyone he met with little effort, but the one person he wanted to know was hidden from him – and now, when he thought they should be closer than ever, he couldn't be sure how the prince felt about him.

The logical part of him understood a lot of his recent uncertainty was because he was pregnant – somewhere in the middle of the hormonal and physical changes his body was experiencing he seemed to have lost much of his ability to read people's emotions. Dende had promised he would settle down by the third or fourth month, but until then, Goku felt blind. He had never realized how much he depended on this skill before, and now that he was in such turmoil, he couldn't trust himself any more.

Like…did Vegeta _really_ want to stay with him? Sure, he had been as good as his word – more attentive than Goku had believed possible, staying with him and even reassuring him as the future details of this pregnancy were explained by Dende. But still, Goku sometimes wondered if the prince stayed with him out of a sense of guilt. Vegeta _said_ he wanted to be there, and the sex - he could only think of it as making love because the hidden romantic in Goku didn't want to believe it was just fucking – _was_ everything he could ever want – caring, affectionate, playful, and passionate. But the rest of the time Vegeta kept so much to himself it was hard to tell. He didn't even understand why he was questioning this – it wasn't like Vegeta had _done_ anything to make him doubt him.

Goku frowned as the baby pulled some more ki. It always got worse when he got excited or upset; just when he should have complete control over his ki was when it slipped out of his grasp. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself; this high up, it wasn't a good idea to let that happen.

He tried to tell himself to go by Vegeta's actions, and not to worry about words, but since the prince had moved in, they hadn't spoken about it again. Their conversations had changed some – Vegeta actually told him some things about Vegeta-sei, including more about the roles of tasans, but never anything about whatever their relationship was now.

Even when he explained about some of the different pairings, like bonding, mating, or packs, he didn't know which one applied – or if any did – apparently with Saiyans there were so many possibilities. They were only the two, so it didn't make sense they were a pack, and he couldn't think of anyone else Vegeta would consider for anything long term. Goku didn't think he'd like bonding the way Vegeta described it.; claiming sounded too much like ownership. It didn't help matters any that Vegeta sometimes acted very possessive, making him worried that _was_ how the prince felt about him. Goku wanted to be _with_ him, not be his property. He liked the sound of mating, but that was not likely to happen; he couldn't see Vegeta _ever_ voluntarily lowering his barriers that much, letting anyone touch his mind enough to feel emotions. Still, it didn't stop Goku from imagining what it would be like to be close enough to someone to know how they felt – to know they loved you without all of those confusing words that never really said it right. It didn't sound like Saiyans had anything like marriage, so what was left?

Goku tried to ask, but Vegeta looked at him as if he was stupid for not knowing the answer already. He could never make himself continue once those questioning dark eyes were on him; he had never been good about actually talking about how he felt. Sure, he could with Piccolo to an extent, but that was different – maybe because he _could_ feel him and knew how his friend felt about him. Even with Chichi it had been easier – he knew she loved him, no matter how much and how often he screwed up. And he could talk to her if she started the conversation, but without that guidance…? He just knew he would blurt out the wrong thing to Vegeta and make him leave. Besides, he was positive the prince didn't like to talk about 'feelings'.

Goku growled with frustration – two months later and he still didn't know where he stood with Vegeta. He didn't think he had lied on purpose, but maybe he _did_ need to hear it at least once. He was positive the prince would stay with him until the baby was born, but then what? Would they stay together? Would he end up having to raise the baby alone? Or worse yet, would Vegeta try to take it from him? 

Goku groaned and tried ineffectively to hold on to his ki as the baby felt his stress and drew on it in reaction. He fell. 

-----------------------------

"Damn it, Kakarott! I **told** you to be more careful!" Vegeta shouted, fists clenched, practically shaking with rage.

"I _was_ careful! It's not my fault if--" Goku shouted back, trying to hide his shivering reaction from the furious prince.

"It **is** your fault! I told you to stop for the day. You should have listened to me! It isn't like this is the first time this has happened!" 

"This wasn't the same thing. I didn't pass out this time! And that was months ago!"

"That's enough…" Vegeta growled.

"What am I supposed to do?" he interrupted. It wasn't fair of Vegeta to get mad at him for this; it wasn't his fault it had happened. "Sit at home all day?" 

"You shouldn't be doing something so dangerous." 

"Dangerous?" he asked in disbelief. Flying was one of the joys in his life – Vegeta had no right to try to take that from him. "We do it every day!"

"Until your body settles down, I don't want you to risk it."

Goku growled at the order. "Just because we _fuck_, doesn't mean you own me, Vegeta," he said bitterly, raising his fingers to his forehead. He felt that creeping concern again that Vegeta was trying to treat him like a possession. He couldn't accept that; no matter how much he loved the prince,

"Oh no you don't. This isn't just about you," Vegeta snapped, grabbing hold of his arm just as Goku IT'd to Piccolo's location.

He glared and shoved the prince away. "What in the hell did you do that for?"

"You have to stop running away, Kakarott. I'm not-" Vegeta said. 

"I'm not your property – you haven't claimed me and I won't let you!"

"How can you think that? I don't—" Vegeta began, but Goku didn't want to hear anything he said.

"You don't own me and you don't get to tell me what to do!" Goku shouted in frustration, ignoring his interruption. Why couldn't Vegeta just have shown some concern when he caught him? If he had, this fight would never have happened.

"That's _my_ child you're carrying!"

"**_Our_** child," he corrected. He was beginning to fear he was right – Vegeta didn't want him, just the baby. "I'm pregnant Vegeta, not helpless. I don't need you to baby sit me."

"I'm trying to protect you!"

"Did you ever think I didn't need your protection?"

"Bullshit. In your condition--"

"It's **_your_** fault I'm in this condition!" Goku yelled, wishing he could take the words back as soon as he said them. He swore he could see Vegeta visibly deflate.

"You shouldn't be alone," Vegeta said in a quieter voice.

Goku scowled and flung his arm at Piccolo. "Do I look alone?"

"Kakarott…" 

"Go home, Vegeta. I want to talk to my _friend_," Goku said stubbornly. Couldn't the prince see he just needed some time to think – to calm down enough for his ki to return to normal? 

Vegeta breathed out his aggravation, "Fine. Maybe you will pay attention to your _friend_ since you refuse to listen to your m-- me." He turned to Piccolo, "Don't let him fly home alone."

"Fuck you, Vegeta," Goku grumbled under his breath. "Damn it!" he shouted, dropping to the ground as the prince flew away.

"What in the hell was that all about?" Piccolo demanded, staring down at him, "I've never seen you two argue like that before."

"I think he thinks he owns me or something. I told him I'm pregnant, not helpless, but he won't listen!"

"Son…much as I hate to stick up for that jerk, did you ever think maybe he is just worried about you? We all are – you're finding this more difficult than Dende expected."

"He doesn't have to be! I can take care of myself. I was going to IT – I didn't need him to catch me," he protested.

"Catch?" 

Goku snapped his mouth shut and hung his head in embarrassment – he hadn't meant to tell Piccolo, had he? Maybe he was stupid and helpless after all.

"Son…what happened?" 

"I fell," he whispered. He could feel his friend's eyes on him, but Piccolo didn't say a word. "I was flying and I fell – my ki dropped and I couldn't stay up." He looked up to see if Piccolo blamed him like Vegeta did; it bothered him that he couldn't tell how his friend felt. "But I was going to save myself," he said defensively, trying to ignore the little voice that reminded him how frightened he had been when he realized he couldn't sense any kis as he plummeted to the ground and how relieved he had been when Vegeta had saved him. "I was going to IT."

"Without ki?" Piccolo asked skeptically. "Even Vegeta knows you can't do that. Damn it, no wonder he's upset. You and the baby could have died!"

"Don't you think I know that?!" Goku shouted. "I hate this! I hate being so helpless! And it's just going to get worse – I know it. I'm going to get bigger and bigger and weaker and weaker until I'm nothing but a useless pregnant alien medical freak of nature! It's not funny!" he protested at the little flicker of amusement that crossed his friend's face.

"No it's not," Piccolo apologized. "I just never expected to hear a line like that from you."

"I hate this," he repeated. "Why is this happening to me?" he said, bending over, arms wrapped around his middle as the baby responded to his frustration, sucking his strength away again; at least he was on the ground this time.

"Goku?" Piccolo asked, stooping down beside him, "Are you all right?"

"No I'm not alright!" he ground out, trying in vain to get control. "I'm a man, and I'm pregnant, and I don't have any control over my body anymore. I hate this! My ki is all over the damn map and I don't know what to do to make it stop. No wonder Vegeta is mad at me."

"Is he?" Piccolo put a hand on his shoulder, "Goku…did you ever stop to think you might have scared him? If I had been there I would have been terrified I couldn't catch you in time."

"Did he ever stop to think maybe _I_ was scared? No. I'm supposed to be so damn brave all the time. **Well I'm not!** Why couldn't he have just held me or even asked if I was okay? He just started yelling at me – blaming me for something that wasn't my fault. And now you're taking his side!"

"You know that isn't true. You _know_ how I feel," Piccolo said, sitting down beside him.

Goku closed his eyes and hung his head, "I don't know anything anymore. Everything's changed. I can't read anyone – not even you. It's almost like being blind." He rested his forehead on his bent knees, trying to will his ki back under his control. "I'm scared Piccolo – I'm really, really scared." 

"I'll do anything I can to help you," Piccolo said, resting a large hand gently on his back.

"I don't think there is anything anyone can do for me," he said miserably. "Dende said I'd have to wait while my body adjusts; I just didn't think it would be so hard." He felt his ki start to level out as he calmed down. "Most of the time it isn't too bad, but I hate being so completely out of control. It doesn't feel like my body anymore. I never know what's going to happen – I sent Vegeta through a mountain without meaning to."

Piccolo chuckled, "Wish I had seen that."

"Piccolo," he chided, "That's not nice." He sighed and lay back on the grass, "I don't think anyone realizes how hard it is to keep my ki under control even under normal conditions. And now? Sometimes I have nightmares of blowing up the entire planet just because the baby kicked."

"That won't happen."

He sat back up again and shrugged in frustration – he felt like he was repeating himself over and over without making anyone understand just how confused he felt about everything. "I think I'm doing good – have it all under control – and then I have a day like this. I just… I just wish I knew how Vegeta really felt about me. I love him so much and not knowing just makes it harder. I never realized loving someone could be so difficult."

-------------------------------

Vegeta flew back to where Kakarott and the Namek were, trying to figure out how to broach the subject of today's near disaster. He hadn't meant to get so angry, but it had been like seeing one of his worst nightmares come true.

His slowly developing ability to read Kakarott's emotions was sporadic and unpredictable, and for now totally out of his control. Even so, he had felt the younger Saiyan's complete frustration with the day's training. Vegeta realized Kakarott was struggling daily with the changes he was experiencing, but knew nothing that would make things any easier; it would just take patience while his body continued to adapt in order to carry the baby.

He tried to be alert to the changes in Kakarott's ki, supplying him with energy whenever his waned, but there were times when the younger Saiyan's independent nature bled through and he rejected any aid.

He normally admired and even encouraged that independent streak, but not now. Not when that independence endangered his life and that of their child.

And it was made even more difficult by Kakarott's tendency to evade and even run from difficult personal issues. Vegeta was worried if he wasn't careful Kakarott would vanish someday rather than stay around and work out an admittedly difficult relationship.

He just wished this first quarter was over – supposedly the next two quarters were supposed to be relatively easy. The tasan's body would finish changing to carry the infant and would stabilize while the child grew and developed. He almost grinned as he tried to picture Kakarott's firm stomach muscles softened and hidden as he grew larger, but somehow he couldn't see it.

He had been surprised when Kakarott had uncharacteristically thrown a punch at him outside of a spar, trying to continue their training past his already exceeded limits. It was so unlike him Vegeta had been momentarily stunned, but refused to rise to the bait. He was supposed to be protecting Kakarott, not causing him more pain. Even though he was angry and upset over too many things for Vegeta to begin to identify, Kakarott seemed to have control over his ki as he flew straight up into the clouds. Vegeta would have liked to have joined him flying through the mist, but somehow he knew Kakarott needed to have some time alone; he couldn't begin to understand the turmoil he felt coming from the younger Saiyan.

After a few minutes he regretted that decision as he felt Kakarott's ki spiral downwards seconds before he began plummeting to the ground, out of control. Vegeta felt himself reliving one of his latest nightmares, this time with Kakarott and their child as the all-too-real victims. He couldn't tell whose terror was greater – his own or Kakarott's, but it fed his transformation to level 2 as he raced to intercept before the nearly limp form hit the ground.

He was sorry now he had gotten so mad, but damn it, Kakarott was empathic and should have understood his fear and his usual way of reacting – anger was normal for him under those circumstances. Hadn't he caused enough destruction in the past to prove that point? Still…he had worked so hard to get control over his violent impulses, saving them until they were to his advantage. Maybe he should begin working at controlling this reaction as well?

He hadn't realized just how upset he had made the other until Kakarott had gotten angry, accusing Vegeta of trying to claim him and blaming him for the pregnancy. That had stopped Vegeta cold with the realization of much of a chasm still existed between them. How was it that Kakarott still didn't understand what he meant to Vegeta? If he continued to resist his aid, how was Vegeta supposed to protect him? This was the most difficult part of the pregnancy, and apparently he was making it even more difficult for Kakarott. If they had been together longer before it happened they would have been more in tune with each other, and maybe he wouldn't be making all of these mistakes. It was too late for that now – he was glad Kakarott chose to go through with the pregnancy; he just wished it had been later.

He couldn't shake the feeling Kakarott wasn't getting everything he needed from him – but he wasn't very good at interpreting emotions or analyzing their cause. There was an ever-present chant in the back of his head, getting more and more difficult to ignore – 'You're going to fuck up and he's going to leave you.' The thought had lead to many restless nights, staring at Kakarott's peaceful sleeping face, trying to imagine his life without him. He couldn't do it – he'd barely survived the loss of Bulma; losing Kakarott would destroy him.

Vegeta finally arrived at the waterfall, glad of the distraction to his questioning. Kakarott was stretched out on the grass, covered in Piccolo's cape, the Namek sitting and meditating near his head. Vegeta growled in annoyance as he realized the Namek _wasn't_ meditating; he was stroking Kakarott's soft dark hair. Piccolo had no right! How many times had Vegeta done the same thing, lightly fingering the black spikes, enjoying the soft purrs the other Saiyan made? And worse yet, it looked like this was a normal thing – Piccolo looking down at the sleeping face, making the closest thing to a smile he was capable of. He landed and stared at the Namek, finally seeing what he must have known all along. 

"You love him," Vegeta blurted, that voice of doubt suddenly screaming at him. Was this why Kakarott seemed so confused all of the time?

"Yes," Piccolo said, staring calmly back. "Do you?" he challenged.

"We're Saiyans," he snapped. "We don't-"

"Enough of the fucking semantics, Vegeta," the Namek growled, rising to his feet, "It's not a difficult question. Do. You. Love. Him?"

Vegeta scowled. Stupid fucking language. They understood nothing. "Kakarott is Saiyan – he understands."

"You are so damn blind. He might have Saiyan blood, but he was raised human. No matter how much you want it to be different; it isn't fair of you to demand he change to suit you. You have to meet him half way if you plan on keeping him."

He glared at the Namek; it was none of his damn business how much he had changed for Kakarott, "We're leaving now."

"No you're not," Piccolo said, grabbing his arm and pulling him away from Kakarott.

"Are you planning to die, then?" he said angrily.

"Knock it the fuck off. He's had a rough day, and meditating exhausted him. You're going to let Goku sleep and we're going to talk."

"I have nothing to say to you, Namek."

"Fine. You're going to lose him and you won't even know why."

"To you?" he laughed bitterly. "You can't even have sex."

"I have hands and a mouth."

Vegeta couldn't take it anymore – the thought this…_Namek_ would touch what was his. He punched him, sending him crashing back against a nearby tree. 

"What's the matter, Shorty?" Piccolo sneered as Vegeta curled his hand in the purple gi, drawing back for another blow. "Can't take the truth? There's more to a relationship than just sex."

"He's mine! You will not touch him!"

"Yours? I don't think so. You're just using him–"

"That's not true!" He should just punch the damn Namek, killing him, silencing that disgusting mouth.

"-keeping him around until you get an heir," Piccolo continued as if he hadn't spoken. "Then what, Vegeta?"

"You don't understand anything," he growled, struggling to remind himself how upset Kakarott would be if he killed his friend. "I wouldn't do that to Kakarott." 

"Haven't you already?"

Vegeta punched him in the gut, pleased at the grunt of pain the lying bastard made. "He can feel me – he knows what he is to me."

"You're wrong," Piccolo gasped, trying to catch his breath.

"What?" Vegeta hesitated – that wasn't the answer he expected.

"He has no idea how you feel. You fuck him, you get him pregnant, you treat him like a helpless child, and when he needs you the most you get angry and push him away." Piccolo shoved with his ki and Vegeta took a step back, looking at the angry, bleeding Namek with distrust. "You know what, Vegeta? I hope you continue just the way you have been. You're going to fuck up once too often, and I'll be waiting. Goku _knows_ I love him."

Vegeta roared in rage and punched the Namek again, feeling the crush of bones under his fist. "He's _MINE_! I've waited for Kakarott for years and I won't let you take him from me!" His next blow snapped Piccolo's head to the side, blood flying from his mouth. "He's in my head – I can feel him already! I'm supposed to protect him! He's my **_mate_**!"

"Don't tell me," Piccolo wheezed, "Tell him."

"Vegeta?"

Vegeta practically spun around at the softly voiced question. Kakarott was awake and staring at him in sleepy confusion.

"You owe me, Vegeta," Piccolo whispered. "I know you – until you got too pissed off to think you'd never say anything."

What the hell? Vegeta looked back at the Namek in disbelief. "I could have killed you."

"But you didn't, did you?…because of him."

"Why?" he asked, not sure he understood what had just happened.

"For some stupid reason Goku loves you and I want him to be happy."

He stared at Piccolo in shock. Was he understanding this right? The Namek had risked his life to keep Vegeta and Kakarott together?

"Vegeta?" Kakarott asked again. "Why are you and Piccolo fighting?"

"It's alright Son," Piccolo said, pushing himself standing, "Just a misunderstanding. I'm going to see Dende. And…" he gave the prince a warning look, "Vegeta has some things to tell you."

He waited until the Namek left before, "Kakarott…"

"What's going on Vegeta?" his mate asked, his voice softer than usual, not rising from the pool of white cloth surrounding him.

Vegeta sighed; had the Namek really pushed him into this on purpose? "Did you know he…'loves' you?"

Kakarott shrugged, "Well- yeah. I've known that for a long time. It isn't a secret. I would have told you if you asked." He frowned, "Is that why you hit him? Because Piccolo loves me? "

Vegeta was almost embarrassed to admit how unsure he felt with Kakarott – mates were supposed to know these things. He just didn't know it would take so long. The stories always said it was an instant thing – he should have known better, "He said he was going to take you away from me." 

Kakarott crossed his arms and studied Vegeta dubiously. "I'm not some possession to be stolen, Vegeta."

"I know," he said softly. "It's just that…"

"I _love_ you, Vegeta. No matter what, I love _you_. Piccolo knows that – we've talked about it; he knows I don't love him the same way," Kakarott said before hesitating. He appeared to take a breath before blurting out, "But what about you? We haven't talked about it for months and I'm no closer to knowing where we stand than I did then. I still don't have any idea how you really feel about me." 

Vegeta stared at him in surprise – with Kakarott's abilities he should have known weeks ago. "That's not true – we talked about mating. I thought you understood. You should have known when I did."

"Known what?" Kakarott asked, looking up at him with questioning eyes. Vegeta wasn't sure if that was hope or confusion he was sensing – all these emotions were too difficult to interpret without understanding the cause.

"You have to know," Vegeta said, bewildered, dropping to his knees in front of Kakarott. "I started to be able to feel your emotions a few weeks ago. It's how I knew we were becoming mates."

"Oh," Kakarott said, suddenly looking down, fingers tight in the white fabric. "I can't," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. 

"You can't what?" he asked, not understanding his answer, wanting to pry the Namek's cape away, but controlling his jealousy. "You can't feel me?" This was impossible. He couldn't be alone in this.

"I haven't felt anyone for almost a month," Kakarott said sadly.

"No one - not even me?" He had been so pleased to realize he was becoming more aware of Kakarott, but it was somehow disappointing to discover the awareness did not go both ways.

Kakarott shook his head. "No," he whispered, "I've been so alone."

He could feel it now – Kakarott's loneliness was nearly overwhelming. Hopefully, in a few months they would be close enough for him to be aware of such an intense emotion from his mate without it being pointed out to him. 

"Because of the baby?" he asked gently.

"I don't know…I hope so." Kakarott curled his legs up into a protective ball, "I don't know what I'll do if it is permanent. I could feel you a little bit and then everything just faded and was gone."

Vegeta sighed – the Namek was right, he was fucking everything up. Why didn't he pay more attention? Now that he had experienced even a taste of what Kakarott could feel, he thought he could understand how lost his mate would feel without that ability. "I'm sorry Kakarott. This is too new – I didn't have any idea. You should-- I wish you had told me."

Kakarott suddenly moved forward and embraced him in a nearly bone-crushing hug. "I'm sorry," he mumbled against Vegeta's neck.

"You've done nothing to be sorry for, Kakarott," he said gently, wrapping his arms around Kakarott, breathing in his scent, heart beating in time to the dual pulse of ki from his mate and child. "I thought you knew we were becoming mates. I should have said something." 

"Are we really?" Kakarott said hopefully. "You're not just saying it because I'm pregnant? I'm not…_claimed_?" 

Vegeta chuckled softly, Was Kakarott really worried about that? He was so strong – no one could ever own him. "A warrior like you? You will never be property."

"Mates," Kakarott said, tasting the word, sitting up enough to see Vegeta's face.

"Yes," Vegeta smiled, feeling some of the tension vanish from Kakarott. "Pregnant or not, I choose to be with you." Maybe now he would understand he meant more to Vegeta than any human word could ever express. "We are mates."


	7. Frustration

**Patience**  
**_By Pixelgoddess_**

Summary – Vegeta has had his eye on Goku for years, but isn't willing to make the first move. Will either of them bend?

This started out life as a series of one-shots, with required sentences – first 'Why did you stop?', then 'I've been waiting a long time for this' and 'You wouldn't dare.' Now look what has happened – it's taken on a life of its own.

Pairings – oh please – I almost never write anything _but_ Goku and Vegeta. What do you think?

Warnings – This is **me** you are talking about – expect smut and angst, pretty much in equal measure. With enough sap to thin it out. Goku/Vegeta. Sex. Kissing. Smut. Yaoi. (Does everyone know what that means?) And now that the cat is out of the bag – mpreg.

A disclaimer too? sighs Would I worry about paying my bills if I owned them? Hell, if I owned them, there would have been more naked Saiyans, more sex, Goku would have saved Vegeta, and the prince would have been the one to pound the lizard to a pulp. Chapter 7 - Frustration 

Vegeta leaned against a wall at the Lookout, waiting none too patiently for Dende to finish examining Kakarott. They had flown here together, Kakarott's ki finally having stabilized enough so any drops in ki were gradual and almost predictable. It wasn't that his mate's ki had really gone down – it was more like the baby was using it so he couldn't access it himself. Still, he wasn't as worried about his mate falling from the sky – it was more likely that Kakarott wouldn't have enough ki to fly at any given moment.

"Vegeta," Piccolo said, landing and crossing over to him, "What brings you here? Is Goku okay?"

"He's fine. End of the first quarter – just a check-up." He was doing his best to be more involved in this child's birth; somehow it seemed easier this time. Maybe it was some hard-wired Saiyan instinct to protect a tasan. Then again, maybe it was guilt at putting Kakarott through this. He wasn't used to examining his motives, but it seemed to be necessary when dealing with Kakarott.

Piccolo nodded, "Good. Maybe he'll settle down now. He just hasn't been himself lately. I wish I knew what was bothering him so much."

Vegeta scowled. Kakarott's willingness to share things with the Namek galled him at times; it wouldn't be so bad if he talked to Vegeta the same way, but there were still things Piccolo knew that he did not. "I figured he would have told you all about it."

Piccolo frowned back at him, "I'm not trying to come between you two, if that's what you're thinking."

"Could have fooled me."

"Fine. Maybe I was at first. I'm not now – I haven't since you said you were mated."

"You're serious," Vegeta said, not completely sure he believed the Namek.

Piccolo shrugged, "He made his choice."

Vegeta looked at him appraisingly. Maybe it was better that he didn't know Kakarott hadn't really made a choice yet. He seemed to be incapable of completely committing to having Vegeta as his mate. There was something troubling Kakarott, holding him back, but he wouldn't reveal what it was even when Vegeta asked him. Most of the time Vegeta was able to accept it, hoping that when his empathy returned Kakarott would want him to be his mate the same way Kakarott was his. Other times…frustration, annoyance, anger and even rage – what was holding Kakarott back? Was being his mate so horrible that he would hesitate so long?

"Did Kakarott tell you anything?" he asked hopefully.

"No. All I know is he is worried about something – but I don't know what."

Vegeta let out a sigh and leaned back, closing his eyes. He could feel the churning of Kakarott's emotions, but as usual couldn't tell what was causing the ever increasing anxiety. Suddenly he felt a spike of…worry? Fear? He pushed off the wall and rushed into the room.

"Kakarott? What's wrong?"

Kakarott looked at him wide-eyed, mouth opening and closing as he tried to form a response.

"Is there something wrong with the baby?" he asked, trying to ignore the knot that threatened to form in his stomach.

"The baby is fine, Vegeta," Dende said smiling, "Goku's just feeling a little anxious, I think. He's fine, though; completely on schedule."

Vegeta went to his mate, now sitting with his eyes downcast, and brushed his fingertips over his cheek. "Kakarott?"

Kakarott looked at him and made a small apologetic smile. "Sorry," he whispered, "I didn't mean to worry you."

"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked softly, wishing he could read Kakarott's thoughts.

Kakarott nodded his head slightly, "Yeah. Nothing to worry about."

He held back a sigh – they'd gone through this before. Kakarott wouldn't tell him until he was ready – and Vegeta was worried he might never be. "Fine. Let's go home." He drew closer, wrapping an arm around his mate's waist, preparing to feed him energy. He recognized the beginning of a low cycle for Kakarott's power, but with a little boost he should make it home safely; without it they'd be stuck here all day. "Just let me give you some ki."

"No!" Kakarott exclaimed, pushing him away, a hint of panic in his voice. "I'm fine. I'll stay here for awhile."

Vegeta frowned and dropped his hand, curling it into a fist, torn between pain and fury. Afraid… Kakarott was afraid of him. He turned and pushed by the Namek still standing in the doorway. "You win," he muttered, flying away.

-------------------------

Vegeta flew into a brutal kata, trying with little success to ignore the hurt and rage Kakarott's rejection caused. He considered and dismissed using the gravity room – at the moment he had so little control over his ki it was likely he'd destroy it; with Bulma and Trunks gone, getting it rebuilt was always a problem. The explosions of rocks and the earth showering down on him were more satisfying somehow; destruction felt good.

He paused in his violence when he felt the approach of Kakarott and the Namek – come to gloat, no doubt. He frowned at himself when he felt a protective surge at the realization a protesting Kakarott was slung over Piccolo's shoulder. His mate's ki had dropped, leaving him without the strength to escape. Vegeta could hear him demanding to be put down.

"What the hell do you want?" he growled. He wasn't sure he could guarantee the Namek's safety at the moment; he had to keep reminding himself _someone_ had to take care of Kakarott to protect their child.

"You forgot something," Piccolo said, lowering a struggling Kakarott to the ground. He angrily pushed away from the Namek before looking at his surroundings. As soon as their eyes met Kakarott dropped his gaze to the ground, hunching his shoulders in awkward discomfort.

Vegeta glared at the pair, trying to hide how much he wanted to comfort and protect his mate. "I didn't forget a damn thing. Kakarott made himself perfectly clear."

Kakarott glanced back at the Namek as if asking for help but Piccolo shook his head, "No. This is your problem and you have to fix it." He caught Vegeta's eye, "Make him talk. Sit on him if necessary. Work it out. I'm tired of being in the middle of this."

They looked on in surprise as Piccolo suddenly flew away, leaving an obviously upset Kakarott behind, his ki too low to follow. Vegeta turned and stretched, preparing to go back to his training. All he wanted to do was go to Kakarott and take him in his arms, but he couldn't – what if his mate rejected him yet again? Then what? What was he supposed to do?

"Vegeta," Kakarott pleaded, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."

"Bullshit!" he snapped. All his fights with Bulma had never managed to hurt him as much as one little action from his mate. He couldn't run from this anymore; he wanted – _needed_ – Kakarott, but no matter how much he tried to get closer the further apart they became. "You've obviously made your choice, Kakarott, and it isn't me. It's the Namek. It's always the fucking Namek."

"_That's not true!_ I lo-"

"Love? Is that what you were going to say Kakarott?" he said bitterly. "I told you the humans have made the word meaningless and this only proves it."

"But you're my mate," Kakarott protested.

He hated the pain that poured off of Kakarott and crossed over to him, cupping his cheek in his hand. Something about the way his mate's face felt against his fingertips always comforted him – made him feel closer. It was one of many things he would miss on losing Kakarott. His mate looked at him hopefully, but he could only shake his head sadly, suddenly unable to feel any anger, only an aching emptiness. How could this have gone so wrong?

"No," he said sadly, "you are _my_ mate, but I'm not _yours_. You won't let me be."

"Vegeta…" he pleaded, tears starting to fill his eyes. "Please don't do this. We _are_ mated."

"I thought we were…I was wrong. I want us to be mates. I've opened myself up to you – something I've never done before. Not even with Bulma." Couldn't Kakarott see how vulnerable Vegeta had made himself so they would be even stronger together? He dropped his hand and turned away, "I was a fool."

"No…no you weren't," Kakarott whispered, reaching for him.

Vegeta made himself push his mate away, "If I had known I was going to lose you like this I never would have let you kiss me," he said miserably.

Kakarott dropped to his knees with a sob, "Are you leaving me?"

He sighed. "I can't – I can never leave you now…but I can't make you stay."

"Vegeta… _Please_… I'll do better. I'll get stronger."

"Mates are supposed to need each other, Kakarott, but you refuse to let yourself need me. Anytime you are upset, or your ki starts to drop, you go running to the Namek." He could barely control himself – he was so frustrated, so overwhelmed, he only wanted to shout. "Why Kakarott? I've done my best to change – I've told you things…

"And today – I tried to help you and you were afraid. _Afraid_! Of me! Piccolo has actually killed you, but you don't seem to care about that. I can't hurt you; you're my mate. What have I done? How can you be afraid of me?"

"I'm _not_-"

"I _felt_ it Kakarott."

"You don't understand."

"Then **make** me understand, damn it!" he shouted. "Talk to me. Tell me what's wrong." He dropped to the ground, "I don't want to lose you Kakarott, but knowing that you are afraid of me--"

"I'm not! I'm not afraid of you…I trust you."

Vegeta shook his head, "I know what I felt."

Kakarott grabbed his arm. "What I'm afraid of is losing you. Not _of_ you – never of you. I'm terrified I'll fail you in some way – that I won't be the Saiyan you want. This…being pregnant is _hard_, Vegeta; it's changing me. I think different; I act different…it's taking away everything I am, making me weak and helpless."

Vegeta was willing – wanted desperately – to accept any honest explanation Kakarott would give him if it meant they could stay together. Losing a mate… he didn't want to think of how difficult that would be. "Do you think I blame you for something beyond your control?" He frowned inwardly – he had in the past. Hopefully Kakarott would realize he had changed – he wasn't like that anymore. "I don't think any less of you for it, if that is what you are worried about."

"I know how much you value strength …and now I'm weak so much of the time… Damn it Vegeta! I hardly have the strength to stand, let alone fly right now."

Vegeta felt a surge of annoyance, quickly quashed. "Do you think that is the only reason I am with you, Kakarott? Your strength? Do you honestly believe I would leave you if it were gone? Your strength attracted my attention when we first met nearly a century ago, but that's not why I wanted you for a mate." He scowled – how could Kakarott misunderstand so much? "Do you really think I am so shallow that I would choose a mate based on strength alone?"

"No… I just…."

"You're my friend, Kakarott. I was hesitant to let you know how I really felt because I didn't want to risk losing that friendship. But then you kissed me and I thought it would be alright. Don't tell me I was wrong – don't tell me I'm losing you over this."

"You're not. Please believe me, Vegeta. I'm just so confused…."

"Kakarott…we knew your being a tasan would be a difficult adjustment; that's why I didn't want to make you feel forced into keeping the baby." He sighed sadly; he didn't want Kakarott to end this pregnancy, "You still have time to change your mind…"

"You don't really mean that. I know you want this baby as much as I do. I just… I don't want you to regret being with me… My ki keeps failing me… I used to be so strong and now look at me."

"All of these changes are temporary, Kakarott. Your ki will return after the baby is born." He felt his mate's frustration and thought he was beginning to understand what had been happening; Kakarott had held back because he was trying to hide what he thought Vegeta would reject him for.

"What if it doesn't?!"

Vegeta moved over and sat on the ground beside his mate. "It still won't matter – you are my mate no matter what happens. But it will return – all the records say that. During pregnancy tasans are supposed to depend on their mate for strength and protection…it's normal." He could feel the relief flowing through Kakarott – was this really what had caused them so much trouble?

"You really don't mind that I need you so much?"

Vegeta chuckled softly and drew his mate closer. "I don't mind at all. I know this is difficult for you. Kakarott, I want to be your shield and support through this. I _want_ you to need me."

Kakarott turned and hugged him back; gone was the sense his mate was hiding something. "I'm an idiot, aren't I?" Kakarott mumbled against his shoulder.

"It was your turn – I did it last time." He grinned to himself at his mate's quick laugh.

"Think we'll ever get it right?" Kakarott asked, sitting up enough to look Vegeta in the eye.

"Eventually…Saiyans live a long time. We've got centuries to screw up in," he smirked.

"Piccolo's gonna kill us before we're through," Kakarott said, shifting to make himself more comfortable.

Vegeta barked a laugh. "He can try." He brushed his fingertips thoughtfully over his mate's cheek, enjoying the feel of Kakarott's body against his. "Did he actually carry you like that the whole way here?"

He felt a wave of embarrassment from his mate. "Yeah…he was really pissed at me. Told me if I was going to act like a child he was going to treat me like one."

"You aren't a child."

Kakarott made I wry smile, "Maybe not, but he was right – I was acting like one. I should have told you what was wrong instead of trying to tell Piccolo. He yelled at me…said if I was old enough to have sex with you and have a baby with you I was old enough to talk to you. And then he picked me up and carried me here."

Vegeta shook his head, "I don't understand that damn Namek. What the hell is he up to?" One minute he was trying to take Kakarott from him and the next he was practically shoving him at Vegeta. "And where does he get off touching you like that?" he snapped.

"Are you going to hit him for it?" Kakarott said warily.

Vegeta sighed. "No." He saw Kakarott's relieved smile and scowled, "But don't think I haven't considered it!"

-------------------------------------

Vegeta smiled to himself as his mate drew closer to him in his sleep. He could feel the small churn of the baby's ki at the movement, quickly settling down into a steady glow.

Over the past few days he and Kakarott had actually talked. He was right; being a tasan was having a strange effect on his mate. Maybe it was because he wasn't able to train as intensely and as long as before, but as of late Kakarott was more introspective. Every little question or doubt became magnified until it blocked everything else from his mind.

Vegeta had been surprised at how many unvoiced fears his mate had. He had never seemed like the worrying type before, instead facing each day with cheerful anticipation; this change had to be triggered by the pregnancy.

Kakarott even blamed himself for his sons' deaths – like it was his fault for being a Saiyan. Vegeta had gone through the same pain, and understood, but he had no real regrets – Trunks had been one of the best things in his life. How could any of them have foreseen that the cost of their phenomenal strength was the rapid burn-out of their all-too-human bodies? At least he could sympathize with his mate in this – and remind him that as a full-blooded Saiyan this child would not suffer the same fate.

The nightmares bothered Kakarott the least, but disturbed Vegeta the most. His mate's dreams of dying seemed much too close to his own fears… Maybe to Kakarott it was only a passing mention because he had died so many times already, but it created an undercurrent of anxiety for Vegeta. He couldn't bear the thought of losing another person he had gotten so close to – and to lose him as a mate… He pushed it to the back of his mind as another fear needlessly magnified.

Vegeta took a deep breath, inhaling his mate's scent, pushing these dark thoughts away. Now that some things were out in the open, Kakarott was already happier and more relaxed. Based on the way he was pressed against in Vegeta in his sleep, he was obviously craving attention, which he was more than happy to give. Kakarott's ki was starting its upward climb again, but it would be at least a day before his mate would be able to fly…and until then…

He grinned. There were plenty of other ways for them to exercise. He was determined to prove to his mate that the lack of ki was not going to be a problem for either of them. When Kakarott was ready, he was definitely going to have to demonstrate until his mate understood – preferably repeatedly. Maybe when Kakarott woke up…

TBC


	8. Exploration

_I know – I know. It's been forever since I posted. First I hit a writing wall, and then I got super busy. Please forgive me cries, then yawns __Hopefully__ this chapter (and the next – first draft is done) will pacify you for awhile. Sit back, put your feet up, and enjoy the __show_

(If you are reading this on FFnet, this is the censored version – you can read the full version on MM or AFF)

**Patience**_**  
By**__** Pixelgoddess**_

Summary – Vegeta has had his eye on Goku for years, but isn't willing to make the first move. Will either of them bend?

This started out life as a series of one-shots, with required sentences – first 'Why did you stop?', then 'I've been waiting a long time for this' and 'You wouldn't dare.' Now look what has happened – it's taken on a life of its own.

Pairings – oh please – I almost never write anything _but_ Goku and Vegeta. What do you think?

Warnings – This is **me** you are talking about – expect smut and angst, pretty much in equal measure. With enough sap to thin it out. Goku/Vegeta. Sex. Kissing. Smut. Yaoi. (Does everyone know what that means?) And now that the cat is out of the bag – mpreg.

A disclaimer too? sighs Would I worry about paying my bills if I owned them? Hell, if I owned them, there would have been more naked Saiyans, more sex, Goku would have saved Vegeta, and the prince would have been the one to pound the lizard to a pulp.

Chapter 8 - Exploration

Goku watched with admiration as Vegeta finished his kata, a sheen of sweat making his skin gleam in the morning sun. His prince was an amazing fighter, effortlessly switching between rapid powerful blows that exploded without warning and full-body attacks that were as overwhelming as a tidal wave.

Vegeta was wearing gi pants and a t-shirt that clung to every sculpted muscle. Goku licked his lips on realizing he could see the hard nipples pressing tightly against the fabric. He knew Vegeta would have continued training in the nude at just a hint from Goku – and he seriously considered it – but he decided to wait. He really wanted to get a few more hours of training in, and a naked Vegeta would be a distraction. Just thinking about it, and Goku found it difficult to concentrate on anything but the low pooling of heat.

Vegeta finished and turned his head, looking back over his shoulder at Goku. Goku was positive the prince had an idea of what he was thinking about, because his small smile transformed into a knowing grin.

"See something you like?" the prince asked.

"Oh no you don't," Goku chuckled, climbing to his feet. "We're going to spar. You promised."

Vegeta made an amused sniff and led the way to their sparring grounds, "Have it your way, Kakarott."

"I will," Goku grinned, admiring the view as he followed the prince.

"No ki attacks," Vegeta confirmed, taking his stance.

Goku nodded and dropped into position. Sparring while pregnant required some specific rules and a great deal of self-control. He was looking forward to being able to spar again at full strength, with no pulled punches. Until then…it was nice to know Vegeta was doing everything he could to protect their child while keeping Goku happy and healthy.

It had been a little more than a month since Piccolo had practically dumped him at Vegeta's feet. He struggled since then to overcome his fear of the prince being ashamed at his weakness; there were times when the feeling was so overwhelming he could barely cope.

Vegeta said it didn't matter, but with someone as proud as the prince he still found it difficult to believe that could be possible. But it had to be true: even through the mental struggles and physical changes he was going through, Vegeta stayed by his side, constantly surprising him with his gentle touches and obvious affection. He could hardly believe this was the stern man he'd known for years. Had anyone else seen this side of Vegeta? Surely Bulma and his children must have, at least later in life. The patience Vegeta had worked so hard to develop for fighting must have begun to extend to the rest of his life.

At least today Goku wouldn't completely embarrass himself; his ki was at a reasonable level and if he didn't overdo it he'd have enough energy for a few more comfortable days.

Goku went on the offensive, closing the distance. His first flurry of punches was a feint, keeping Vegeta distracted as his attack took him behind the prince. Vegeta was vulnerable for a split second and Goku spun and kicked him in the back, sending him stumbling a few steps before recovering.

"So that's how we're playing today, is it?" Vegeta smirked. They both knew Vegeta could kick his ass right now – just one burst of ki and Goku would be completely overpowered. But they also both knew he wouldn't.

"Yep," Goku grinned back. Thanks to their strict rules, he had a much better chance of hitting Vegeta. The prince was extremely limited in where he could safely strike a blow, while Goku had no such limitations.

"Good," he said, going on the offensive. Goku blocked the attack, acutely aware Vegeta was carefully testing his strength and the stability of his ki. Goku was pleased at how steady he was able to keep it, matching Vegeta blow for blow.

Goku couldn't help but grin at how good this felt. Because of the way his ki had been fluctuating it had been a few months since he had really pushed himself like this. He had missed the way the force of his attacks that found a target radiated up his arms and legs, exciting him with the thrill of battle.

Vegeta must have seen he was not concentrating, too absorbed in how his body was reacting to the spar, because the prince landed a blow he should have been able to block with ease. Goku growled, annoyed at himself, and pushed all the distracting thoughts to the back of his head. He focused on the spar, letting his instincts guide him.

----------------------------

Goku dropped and swept Vegeta's feet out from under him. The prince hit the ground, but before he could rise Goku pounced onto his stomach, knocking the wind out of him.

Goku grinned down at the prince, "I win."

Vegeta smirked and slid his hands over Goku's ass, "And?"

"I haven't decided yet," he said, brushing fingertips over Vegeta's face, enjoying the feel of the prince's ki sparking against his skin.

Vegeta chuckled and pulled him down for a playful kiss, tangling fingers in his hair to prevent his escape – not that he was trying to. Goku sighed happily and pressed their bodies close together, glad he was still flexible enough to be able to bend like this. He felt Vegeta smirk into the kiss an instant before teasing fingers stroked up his side, tickling him.

"Hey!" he laughed, pulling back, "Stop that!"

Vegeta stopped, but only long enough to roll them over so that Goku was now trapped under him. "Make me," he grinned.

"That's-" Goku began, as he pushed his ki up, rolling them back over, "-cheating."

"I know," he chuckled, wandering fingers threatening.

Goku bit back a laugh when Vegeta found a particularly sensitive area. Blushing, he grabbed the prince's wrists and pushed them over his head, keeping them out of reach. "That'll teach you," he grinned.

"What happens if you let go?" Vegeta teased.

Goku considered for a moment before smirking as he took both of Vegeta's wrists in one hand. "I guess I'll have to make sure that doesn't happen." He slid the other down the prince's chest until it came to rest at the hem of his shirt. Vegeta's breath caught as his fingertips slipped underneath, brushing against the firm muscles of his abdomen. He caught the bottom of the t-shirt and began rolling it up the prince's chest, pausing several times to bend and kiss or lick a particularly enticing area of revealed flesh. Vegeta cooperated, lifting his back and finally his head from the ground enough for Goku to free the shirt until it was tangled in his arms.

Vegeta grinned up at him, "Now what will you do, Kakarott? If you let me go in order to take it off the rest of the way you're risking being tickled."

"Oh, you'd like that wouldn't you? Well it's not going to happen," he said, drawing Vegeta's wrists closer to him. Vegeta watched him, black eyes bright with amusement, as he quickly wrapped the t-shirt around his wrists, binding them together and stretching them over his prince's head.

"Very clever, Kakarott," Vegeta chuckled. "And now that you have me completely at your mercy, what do you intend?"

"What do you think?" Goku grinned. He smoothed his free hand over Vegeta's tight stomach muscles, letting his fingertips lightly brush over his ribs. Vegeta's eyes slid closed as he inhaled a shaky breath. Goku smiled to himself and brought his fingers to his forehead, ITing them to a small clearing in a wooded area he had discovered.

Vegeta opened his eyes as Goku used ki to pin his hands to the ground. The prince glanced around before studying him with amusement. "Didn't like where we were before?"

"Nope," Goku replied, "Too hard and rocky. You would be uncomfortable while I made love to you."

"Very considerate, Kakarott."

Goku bent low to whisper in his ear, "I know." Goku began to worship his prince with his mouth, enjoying the sounds that escaped. It still amazed him how…_agreeable_ Vegeta was – no issues, no hang-ups…as if the angry, seemingly tortured prince of years past had vanished and become this amazing man.

"Kakarott," Vegeta groaned, part plea, part admonishment.

Goku was sorry he let himself get distracted. He hadn't realized how much he depended on the constant buzz of others' emotions until they were silent. He felt so alone at times he tended to forget how sensitive the prince was to his emotions. Goku bent and licked below his ear in apology. Vegeta sighed in appreciation and tipped his head up, baring his throat in a gesture of complete trust.

Goku slowly kissed and tasted Vegeta's throat, careful not to even scrape his teeth against the bronze flesh, unwilling to risk abusing the faith his prince had in him. He traced the corded muscle and raised veins with his tongue, spending a moment to press his lips against Vegeta's Adam's apple, still thrilled with the way it felt and moved at his touch.

He lifted his head to admire the way Vegeta's face transformed with pleasure, the hard lines in his forehead softening as his face relaxed. His mouth was open, his breath audible, making no attempt to mask his hungry sounds. Goku feathered his fingers over his closed eyes, his breath hitching with Vegeta's as energy seemed to flow through them at the whisper of contact. Vegeta's eyes slid open and he was captured, transfixed, unable to draw his hand away from his prince's face as dark eyes pierced him.

"Kakarott," Vegeta breathed, desire intensifying his gaze.

He wanted to say 'I love you, Vegeta,' to let him know how much the prince meant to him, but the word was completely inadequate. He was beginning to understand what Vegeta meant about 'love' and did his best to reserve the word – to make it _mean_ something. They weren't completely mated yet, but he wanted his prince to know how he felt – he just didn't know how to tell him. All he could do was open his mouth and gaze helplessly, hoping Vegeta understood.

Vegeta looked at him, expression softening, "I know Kakarott."

Goku looked into those dark eyes, wishing he could see into his prince as well as Vegeta could see him.

Goku bent and kissed him again, brushing his tongue against his lips before slipping past sharp teeth to taste the heat and smoke of his prince. Vegeta moaned and arched beneath him, pressing their bodies together.

He glided his fingertips over Vegeta's sides, working his way up, delicately tracing each rib. Vegeta gasped as he found a sensitive area, goose bumps rushing over his skin. He could feel Vegeta's eyes on him as he slid lower down his prince's body. Goku bent to taste the firm muscles of his stomach, tongue and lips exploring the heat of his abdomen before moving to the buttery smoothness of his hip, finding his way by taste alone.

The sounds Vegeta made as he arched and writhed beneath him went straight through Goku; he never wanted them to end. His worship continued, only momentarily interrupted by the waistband of Vegeta's pants. The prince groaned in relief as they were carefully removed.

Goku caught and kept Vegeta's gaze as he bent low and traced the tip of his tongue up his prince's erection. Savoring the heady taste when he wrapped his lips around the head he enjoyed the flavor a moment before pulling away.

"Ggg – Kakarott… fuckin' tease," Vegeta stuttered as he stopped.

"I'm not a tease," Goku grinned, "You are just too impatient."

"Should I get loose and show you just how impatient I can be?" he growled.

Goku chuckled and continued his worship, grazing his teeth against Vegeta's inner thighs, letting his hair brush tantalizingly over his prince's sensitive flesh. Vegeta became incoherent as cried out in frustrated anticipation every time Goku merely breathed on his arousal before moving on to another section of flesh.

He wanted to taste every inch of Vegeta's body again, but he knew his prince could not hold out much longer. He saw his arms straining as he struggled with himself not to break free. The sounds Vegeta made were pushing him to the brink; another cry like he had made just moments ago and Goku was sure he would explode.

He swept his tongue over the sole of Vegeta's foot and in surprise the prince emitted the highest sound Goku had ever heard from him.

"Kakarott," Vegeta said in a strangled voice, "What are you-?"

Goku couldn't help but purr to himself in satisfaction when Vegeta's protests collapsed into pleasured whimpers as he carefully sucked on his toes. Goku had never been able to get the prince to wait for him to reach this point, Vegeta's hard-won patience stretched to its limit. Goku slid his tongue over a curled toe and smirked to himself; he really had won today – and managed to discover another of Vegeta's sensitive spots.

He moved to the other foot and took some pity on his prince, who was currently writhing in a teetering balance of pleasure and pain. Goku curled a hand around Vegeta's erection, slowly stroking it as he continued to lavish his toes with attention. Vegeta cried out and arched into his hand, begging for more.

"Please, Kakarott," he panted as Goku began working his way back up Vegeta's leg, kissing a path up a muscular thigh. Vegeta's breath got harsh with anticipation and Goku quickly discarded his plan of teasing the prince more. Neither one of them could hold out much longer; he could see the strain of fabric as Vegeta's wrists shook in their restraints.

He touched the tip of his tongue to the damp head, moaning at the taste. "Vegeta," he whispered, waiting for the dark eyes to meet his, feeling the piercing gaze of his prince. Vegeta's groan of pleasured relief was long and drawn out.

He was struck yet again with how right this felt – the heady taste, the pungent scent, the enticing feel. It thrilled him to give his prince so much pleasure, but he sometimes wished he could be this close and intimate with Vegeta all the time. He could almost imagine whatever barriers that were keeping him from being completely bonded falling at moments like this.

Goku purred to himself in satisfaction at the sound of Vegeta's raw cry of release that still rang in his ears. More – it didn't matter how much of his waning energy it took.– he wanted more. More of the sound; more of the taste; more of the feel of Vegeta's body hard against his.

He didn't give Vegeta a chance to completely recover – he couldn't bear to wait even that long for more of the prince. His slick fingers wrung a strangled groan from Vegeta as they struck sensitive nerves, promising what the prince had been begging for through all of Goku's lavish attention. He spent endless minutes, treasuring each one, carefully preparing his prince. He felt his own body shuddering with each breath Vegeta took, the need to feel the prince against his flesh too overwhelming to ignore.

He freed Vegeta's hands from the ground and brought him up onto his lap. Vegeta looped his still bound hands around the back of his neck, and surrendered his mouth to Goku. He could hardly see; the blood roaring through his veins, the feel of his prince hot against him.

Vegeta growled and tangling fingers tightly in Goku's hair, took control. Goku howled into his mouth and wrapped his arms around Vegeta as tightly as he dared as they moved together, two bodies meant only for carnal pleasure.

Goku wanted this perfect joining to last forever, all doubts forgotten as Vegeta moved with him. Their grunts and moans became shorter and faster, echoing their desperate movement. Vegeta exploded with an ecstatic cry, no longer able to hold back, his entire body shuddering with the power of his release. Goku could only hold him tighter as he came, clutching Vegeta so hard he thought they could fuse together from nothing but the passion he felt for his prince.

TBC


	9. Comfort

_This is the censored version - go to AFF or MM for the full version. I post there as Pixelgoddess_.

**Patience**  
_By Pixelgoddess_

Summary – Vegeta has had his eye on Goku for years, but isn't willing to make the first move. Will either of them bend?

This started out life as a series of one-shots, with required sentences – first 'Why did you stop?', then 'I've been waiting a long time for this' and 'You wouldn't dare.' Now look what has happened – it's taken on a life of its own.

Pairings – oh please – I almost never write anything but Goku and Vegeta. What do you think? Warnings – This is me you are talking about – expect smut and angst, pretty much in equal measure. With enough sap to thin it out. Goku/Vegeta. Sex. Kissing. Smut. Yaoi. (Does everyone know what that means?) And now that the cat is out of the bag – mpreg. A disclaimer too? sighs Would I worry about paying my bills if I owned them? Hell, if I owned them, there would have been more naked Saiyans, more sex, Goku would have saved Vegeta, and the prince would have been the one to pound the lizard to a pulp.

**Chapter 9 - Comfort**

Vegeta remained in his mate's lap, arms still looped around Kakarott's neck. He could easily free his wrists, but for the moment he was unwilling to move and risk disturbing Kakarott's temporary ease. Instead, he breathed in his aroma, the tang of his mate's throat rich on his tongue.

Kakarott was still completely relaxed, arms wrapped around him, his embrace all-encompassing. Vegeta could feel the buzz in his brain that told him Kakarott was feeling happy and content. He was sure his mate's undefined anxiety would return eventually, but Vegeta made a silent plea for the moment to be delayed.

He didn't know why Kakarott had not completed their bond – and apparently neither did Kakarott. It was frustratingly hard to push past that final barrier keeping them apart. As a result, moments like this were to be savored.

"Are you alright?" Kakarott finally whispered, his embrace easing.

"Mmm," he agreed, pressing closer, trying to keep Kakarott from withdrawing. "Perfect."

Kakarott chuckled and soothed a hand up and down his spine. The palm of his hand glided over his tail spot and Vegeta shivered, arms and legs curling even more tightly around his mate.

"You've never done anything like that before," Vegeta rumbled, slipping his hands free of his bonds with as little movement as possible.

"You never let me!" Kakarott protested. "You're always so impatient."

He nipped at Kakarott's ear, "So now I have seen the error of my ways."

Kakarott's soft laugh rumbled through him, blending with his gentle purrs. "You? Admitting a mistake?"

"I'll admit a lot of things after good sex… and that was very good sex."

Kakarott laughed out loud and tried to squeeze him tighter. Vegeta noticed he wasn't entirely successful – his mate had expended a lot of ki in the course of his seduction. He felt…_privileged_ that Kakarott would do that for him. With the way his mate's ki flowed lately he would have had several comfortable days before his ki would begin to dip, but he gave those days of energy to Vegeta.

He felt Kakarott's acknowledgement of that with his deep sigh, his entire body seeming to slump in Vegeta's arms.

"You overdid it, didn't you?" he said softly. At least he would have the pleasure of holding his mate as he fed Kakarott ki, helping him restore his strength.

"Mmmmm," Kakarott agreed. "Tired."

"There's no sense in going back right away; we could stay here and let you rest for awhile." Kakarott had chosen well – this location was shaded and secluded and the ground was cushioned by deep green moss.

"Okay," Kakarott said, his voice small and soft. Vegeta experienced a powerful surge of protectiveness at the realization of how vulnerable his mate was at this moment. He disentangled himself from Kakarott enough so they could lie down, Kakarott's head cradled on his shoulder, their bodies tangled together. Vegeta brushed his palm over his mate's tail spot and sent ki flowing through him. He was rewarded with the usual shiver and contented sigh, the reaction making this one of the favorite things for him to do for his mate.

In the past he had gotten a sense of Kakarott's surprise at his behavior, and the way Vegeta enjoyed caressing him, but had quickly gotten used to it. Kakarott drifted off to sleep, purring softly as Vegeta trailed fingertips over his mate's cheek.

He didn't allow himself to sleep, instead continuing to feed Kakarott ki as he kept watch. No humans had come near them so far, but they had been through this area in the past and there was no way to be sure they wouldn't return at some point. Usually he wouldn't care – they were no threat to either of them most of the time. However, with Kakarott vulnerable like this he would not leave him unguarded and unprotected.

It surprised him at times how easy it had been for him to settle into his role as Kakarott's mate. He figured it was partly because this type of bond was what he had been used to growing up; he had cared for Bulma, but their relationship was different. Knowing how his mate actually felt was a new experience and it seemed right to him even if he was still getting used to it. He doubted Kakarott realized how difficult it had been for him to open his mind and actually allow him in, but he didn't regret the decision. He just didn't understand why Kakarott, who had been so open with everyone else, couldn't seem to do the same for him.

He tried not to think about why Kakarott had not completed the bond, telling himself it would happen in time. But it was so damned frustrating! Had the pregnancy taken this from him? If things had been different and he hadn't gotten Kakarott pregnant would they be mated now? It was impossible to know. He would be lying to himself if he said he didn't wish they had taken more time, and gotten more comfortable as a couple first. Six months together before the huge change caused by Kakarott's pregnancy wasn't nearly long enough.

Worse yet, Kakarott was becoming increasingly subject to nightmares. He either couldn't remember or wouldn't say what they were about, but they seemed to echo the fear he felt emanating from his mate. He'd finally come to realize the fear wasn't _of_ Vegeta, but he couldn't help but wonder if he was somehow associated with it. Even asking straight out what was going on got no reasonable response; it was possible Kakarott himself didn't actually know what was bothering him.

He wondered – with more than a little jealousy – if Kakarott had shared his fears or concerns with the Namek. It disturbed him at times to realize Piccolo and his mate shared a type of relationship he struggled to create himself. He knew Kakarott hadn't had sex with the Namek – although it wasn't impossible to happen someday. In spite of Piccolo's lack of sexual organs, as the Namek himself had said, he had hands and a mouth.

Kakarott stirred as Vegeta's ki spiked in annoyance, disrupting the even flow of energy to his mate. He silently apologized, forcing himself to be calm and Kakarott relaxed again.

It was stupid of him to be jealous of the Namek. So what if Piccolo seemed better able to communicate with Kakarott than he could? They had been doing so for years and nothing had ever happened. Of course it would take time for Vegeta to gain that ability. In the past, most of his conversations with Kakarott had been about fighting or strategies or – hell – even their wives and kids. But talk about themselves? That was rare. Every time they did he was reminded how unusual – and difficult – it was. It wasn't that he was unwilling – he just didn't know how to start; it seemed to take a crisis for either of them to actually _say_ anything.

Vegeta snapped alert, his musings interrupted. After a minute a young man in hunting attire appeared at the edge of the clearing, quickly followed by several others. They spotted Vegeta and Kakarott curled naked around each other and froze. Vegeta nearly smirked before he realized they were glaring in unhidden disgust. He glowered back at them and increased the protective ki surrounding his mate. There was a moment when he expected a challenge or at least a remark, but they soon faded back into the woods, grumbling to each other.

"Vegeta?" Kakarott murmured. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing – just some humans. Go back to sleep."

Kakarott ignored him and pushed himself up, glancing around. "I forgot it was hunting season. It might be a good idea to go home. I can IT us there now."

Vegeta shrugged – he was content to stay here, but if Kakarott wanted to leave he didn't object. "It's up to you."

Kakarott grinned at him before looking thoughtful. "We could get shot at by accident. Without bright clothes we could be mistaken for game."

Vegeta raised his eyebrows in amusement. "Is that why you wear orange? So you won't get shot?"

Kakarott laughed a moment before Vegeta drew him down for another kiss. He couldn't resist touching his mate, especially when he was happy like this. When he finally released him, Kakarott was panting and breathless.

"Take us home then – I feel the need to take full advantage of your helplessness and have my way with you."

-----------------------------

It didn't work out quite like that. Kakarott truly was tired and needed to rest and eat before Vegeta felt he wasn't taking unfair advantage of his mate's temporary weakness.

Vegeta smirked and dropped his shirt and pants on the bathroom floor, spending a moment to kick them into the corner. Kakarott was fed, cheerful, and relaxed, humming to himself in the shower. Vegeta pulled the curtain aside and stepped in, admiring the view: long back, powerful shoulders, great ass. He had started to show – the stomach muscles softer and less defined, with a small curve changing the shape of his body.

A mate like Kakarott was worth the effort. Even Bulma had not needed him as much as Kakarott did now and he felt a heady rush of protective pride for his mate.

Kakarott looked at him and he felt that thrill of affection race through his mate – a feeling that was worth all the crap they put each other through. He hoped it wouldn't be too much longer before Kakarott recovered his ability to read emotions. His mate was suffering from loneliness and he sensed a buried fear of_something_. Kakarott had begun to worry too much and there was little Vegeta could say to change that.

Vegeta picked up a washcloth and put it in his mate's hand, smirking.

Kakarott smiled back, understanding without being told and began lathering up Vegeta's hand, carefully cleaning each finger, smoothing soap over his palm before gradually working his way up his arm. Vegeta watched his face as Kakarott smoothed the cloth over his skin in silence, his touch gentle. They had done this many times before, usually ending with one or the other pinned to the wall as their body was ravished. Not this time – there was worship and care in his touch, but none of the playful sex they were used to.

He finished and looked at Vegeta, still unsure. His ki low, he always seemed to be so much more hesitant than usual, questioning everything he did. He could feel the underlying tension as Kakarott constantly struggled uselessly with himself, trying to control something that currently wasn't under his control. Vegeta had been surprised to realize Kakarott derived much of his identity from his overwhelming strength and with it temporarily gone, so was his confidence.

After the misunderstanding at the Lookout they had managed to talk about Kakarott's concerns, but Vegeta was sure he didn't understand how fiercely protective it made Vegeta feel. Fiercely protective and at the moment _very_ aroused.

Vegeta brushed his fingertips over his mate's cheek, "You can say no, you know."

Kakarott made a happy little smile, "I know. I haven't. I won't."

"Good, because it is my turn," he grinned back. They didn't still really 'take turns' – that had been to get Kakarott to realize he was fine with either position during sex. He'd learned early on that humans had some strange ideas about 'top' and 'bottom' and he didn't want Kakarott to fall into that bad habit.

Kakarott grinned back and blushed slightly – he still did that when he thought of sex with Vegeta. "I wish my ki was higher…" he said wistfully.

"Considering why it is low today, I'm glad it isn't," Vegeta smirked. He gently propelled his mate until his chest was against the tiles and the water beating on his back. "Now I have to decide how to best return the favor."

Kakarott twisted his head back to look over his shoulder. "You really don't mind?"

"You worry too much." Vegeta smiled and brushed his fingertips over Kakarott's tail scar; his mate shivered and gasped involuntarily. He was tempted to tell Kakarott how much he enjoyed having him weaker than him, if only temporarily. After having struggled for years to best Kakarott, there was a part of him that was finally silenced now that his mate was so dependent on him.

"Sometimes I don't understand you," Kakarott whispered, eyes closed as Vegeta began rubbing his back. "I thought strength was so important to you. How can you not mind?"

He didn't answer right away, instead smiling to himself as Kakarott relaxed under his hands and echoed his soft rumble of a purr.

"Kakarott… I was brought up with respect… admiration even – for tasans. As difficult as things might be for them, they were highly valued by our society. Those who chose to become pregnant were always mated – by choice. You can't force mating on someone. Since you've become pregnant I've done my best to learn what I can about tasans. I do know this – the change in your ki is normal and nothing to be ashamed of."

"Oh…" he said, obviously flustered.

Vegeta leaned close and purred in his ear, "You are my mate first – a tasan second – and I will do everything in my power to take care of you."

Kakarott rested his forehead against the tiles and made a sound that might have been a response or it could have been a groan as Vegeta reached around and teased his nipples with ki.

"Trust me…" Vegeta whispered, his hand slowly sliding down Kakarott's back to rest on his tail spot. He used his hand to feed ki into his mate and smirked at the gasp and instinctive arch he made.

Kakarott groaned again at another wave of ki.

He pressed their bodies together, guiding Kakarott to the wall where he uselessly clutched at the tiles as Vegeta's hand trailed lower. The hot water from the shower streamed between them, the flow adding to the pleasure of Kakarott's body next to his. "You are my mate," he breathed in Kakarott's ear, willing him to understand the intensity of meaning behind the word. Kakarott groaned and pressed back against him, the movement eliciting an answering cry from Vegeta at the friction of his body against his mate's heated skin.

Kakarott moaned and writhed against him as Vegeta continued to tease him, gliding a hand over his hip to stroke him once before returning to his tail spot, fingertips dancing over the sensitive area. Vegeta wrapped an arm around Kakarott, palm over his heart, feeling it pounding against his fingertips. He gently sent a pulse of ki in time with each beat, gasping as it radiated through his mate with the flow of blood in his veins. Kakarott emitted a strangled cry at the waves of ki flowing through him. He could feel Kakarott struggling with his ki, trying to keep it at a level that his mate felt was 'acceptable', but with little success.

"Relax Kakarott," he whispered. "Stop fighting it. I will take care of you." He hesitated when Kakarott did, his deep inhalation as he tried to follow Vegeta's suggestion loud in his ears. Keeping his touch gentle, he was surprised and pleased to feel Kakarott struggling less with his ki.

Vegeta gently turned his mate around and drew him down for a leisurely kiss. Carefully, not wanting to abuse his trust, he took Kakarott's wrists in his hand, the hold light enough to be only a suggestion. He felt no objection from his mate, and reaching over, he turned off the water and began to back out of the shower, drawing his mate with him. Kakarott followed, only hesitating when he left the steamy warmth of the bathroom for the cooler bedroom.

Vegeta looked back at him, confused for a moment, until he realized what was wrong. His ki low, Kakarott was much more sensitive to temperature changes and more subject to feeling cold. He moved back to Kakarott, still keeping his hold, and wrapped his free hand around his mate's waist. Catching Kakarott's eye, he grinned and flared his ki, surrounding them both, drying them instantly.

"Better?" Vegeta asked.

"Umhmm," Kakarott agreed, bending down and kissing him, practically melting against him.

Vegeta curled even more protective ki around his mate, groaning with pleasure at Kakarott's heavy purrs. He could feel Kakarott pressed against him and felt him trembling in response at each wave of ki he sent flowing through his mate's tail spot.

Kakarott protested when he finally drew away, stepping back to resume their journey to the bed.

He grinned, "If we kept that up, I'd never get you to the bed." Kakarott flushed at the thought as Vegeta coaxed him into sitting on the edge of the bed. He studied his mate, trying to decide where to start; the decision was pleasantly difficult.

Before he could make up his mind Kakarott glanced down at his still captive hands then quickly looked up at him with a sly look on his face. "You could kiss me, you know. I promise not to tickle you."

Vegeta smirked at him, "You'd like that wouldn't you?" He tried to figure out what Kakarott's reaction really was to not being able to use his hands and decided this was not the time to push him too far. He really was still insecure about his ki, and unlike their play in the woods, where Vegeta could have freed himself any time he chose, if Vegeta tightened his hold Kakarott did not have the strength to escape.

"You know me – I like to kiss you," Kakarott smiled.

"So demanding," Vegeta growled in mock annoyance and released his wrists only to place a hand on either side of Kakarott's face, tipping his head up for a long slow kiss. He leaned closer to his mate, the smooth flesh warm against his, moaning at the feel of Kakarott's hands sliding up the backs of his thighs to curve over his ass.

When they separated, Vegeta was content to let himself be held in his mate's embrace, head against his chest, feeling him breathe in his scent. Kakarott's own aroma of warm wood and green grass was rich in his lungs, his Saiyan musk tempered by warmth and gentleness.

The feel of Kakarott's flesh against his combined with his scent was an aphrodisiac – a drug that made him desire his mate even more. A need to feel the length of Kakarott's body against his swept through him, the thought making him moan.

"Vegeta," Kakarott whispered hungrily.

He stared down into the dark eyes of his mate and realized much of that desire came from Kakarott himself.

"Lie down," he breathed, guiding his mate down until he was stretched out on the bed. Kakarott's eyes were on him, completely trusting, and Vegeta's breath hitched at the wave of affection he felt for his mate.

This man, the greatest warrior of his race, had willingly allowed himself to be vulnerable and need the protection of others, accepting a challenge Vegeta wasn't sure he could have faced himself. For a Saiyan warrior to voluntarily give up his power, even temporarily, was unusual – another reason tasans had become so rare; the conflict Kakarott felt over his loss of ki was not uncommon and difficult to resolve. Not all tasans would willingly allow it to happen, so even before the destruction of their home the lines were already dying out.

He had long recognized Kakarott was special, challenging him in ways he had never considered. He brought out protective urges stronger than Vegeta had ever felt before. The part of him that wanted to roar a challenge to any who dared look too closely at his mate was shrinking – he could sense Kakarott's emotions and knew there was no need for such jealousy. Kakarott needed and trusted him more than anyone ever had in the past. He swore he would do anything in his power to protect and care for his mate.

He slowly moved his hand down Kakarott's chest, not stopping until it was resting over the small bright center of ki that was their child. It left him breathless sometimes, completely overwhelmed by pride and awe to realize how much ki this child was absorbing from Kakarott, and how much potential strength it could have. Was it possible their child could surpass them both? Of course Kakarott felt weak at times – here was his strength, funneled into and through the newest member of the proud Saiyan race.

"What are you thinking?" Kakarott asked, fingertips caressing Vegeta's cheek.

He gazed at his mate a moment, trying to figure out how to put this rush of feeling into words.

"How proud I am to have you for a mate," he finally said, pleased to see the bright smile cross his face. He let Kakarott draw him down for another kiss, long and slow and leisurely, full of more affection than need. He'd had many bedmates, but none who revealed themselves so much in a kiss. He savored the taste of his mate, tongues teasing, and content for the moment to do nothing but kiss his mate, allowing himself to drown in the emotions rolling off Kakarott.

He finally broke the kiss and stared down at his mate, noting the flushed cheeks. He swore he could feel the blood pulsing through Kakarott's body, following the flow with his hands, tracing it down from his heart. A spark of ki tingled on his fingertips as he traced a line down from Kakarott's shoulder to hip and he was rewarded with a shaky exhalation. Kakarott's hand touched his and in that moment he was overwhelmed with a rush of affection and desire for his mate. He needed Kakarott – he gave Vegeta life and purpose; something he hadn't had for many long lonely years. He slipped the fingers of his free hand through his mate's hair, recognizing with some bemusement the grooming motion, and smiled to himself at Kakarott's contented purr.

Vegeta grinned at him when Kakarott took his hand, allowing himself to be guided to where his mate wanted him most. Kakarott groaned at the touch. Stretched out beside his mate, warm against his side, his other hand touched Kakarott's face, tracing his features, brushing his lips as they opened with a gasp.

Kakarott's hands were gripping his arm, clenched in the sheets, clutching and grasping for purchase as he arched and writhed against Vegeta. His ears rang with the sound of his mate's cries, committing each moan to memory. He watched Kakarott's face avidly, noting each change in expression as his mate's mouth opened and closed, his eyes wide and unseeing before squeezing tightly closed as pleasure so intense it left him breathless washed through him. He pressed his lips against Kakarott's, breathing in his gasps, kissing him passionately, stroking him more intensely as his mate neared his peak. Kakarott's entire body went tense against his, his groan turning into a scream of release that Vegeta felt on his tongue, racing through them both.

Vegeta brought his fingers to his lips and tasted his mate, watching his face as he came back to himself, breathing returning to normal. Kakarott caught his wrist and drew Vegeta's hand down to his mouth. He groaned as Kakarott licked his fingers clean, watching him the entire time.

"Kakarott, I do believe I have corrupted you," he smirked.

Kakarott smirked back and sucked on Vegeta's fingers. "Are you planning on corrupting me more?" he grinned, spreading his legs invitingly.

"Definitely," he chuckled – while his mate might not currently have the stamina to continue for hours, he definitely had the desire. "Just not like that."

Kakarott looked at him questioningly, reaching out to touch Vegeta's own arousal.

"Eh, eh," he said, gently pushing the hand away. "On your side – back to me." Even though Kakarott wasn't large yet, the changes to his body were already making it necessary to adjust their positions to make things easier; what was once simple was now putting more strain on his mate. Even if Kakarott made no complaint, Vegeta knew from personal experience how difficult some positions were to maintain, and made sure his mate's body was put in as little stress as possible.

"Aw," Kakarott pouted, "No more kissing?"

"I believe you would be content to do nothing but kiss, Kakarott," Vegeta chuckled. "Now shift over. You're hogging the bed."

Kakarott smirked back over his shoulder, "I like to do more than kiss – but it is a good starting point."

"Fine," Vegeta growled playfully, "If I kiss you again will you move over?"

"Depends on how good the kiss is."

Vegeta bent over his mate, tangling his fingers in the errant spikes and proceeded to prove what a good kisser he was. Kakarott sighed and wrapped his arms around him, holding him close. He felt that pulse of need rush through his mate that was more than sexual, and he responded in kind, wishing Kakarott could feel it as much as he could. If there was anything that distressed him about their relationship it was that his mate had no idea how Vegeta really felt about him – and there were no words powerful enough to describe it in any language he knew.

Kakarott was the one who finally broke the kiss this time, tipping his head just enough to gasp for air. "That was definitely good enough," he finally breathed, moving over on the bed to give Vegeta enough room.

"I'm up for any challenge," Vegeta retorted.

Kakarott groaned, "Ohhhh, you did _not_ just say that."

"Kakarott, I'm surprised at you," he smirked, "Hearing innuendo in such an innocent remark."

"That's because you corrupted me," he grinned back.

Vegeta ran a hand down the length of his mate's side, coming to rest on his hip. "I didn't hear you objecting."

"I'm not stupid. So how are you going to corrupt me today?"

Vegeta moved nearer, his chest close against the long warm back of his mate, wrapping one arm under his mate, funneling enough ki through it to remain comfortable even with Kakarott's weight on it. "I have all kinds of ideas," he purred in his ear. He was very aware of how low his mate's ki was, and how careful and gentle he would have to be if he wanted to have sex with his mate right now.

"Good," Kakarott purred, moving his arms until they were caged by Vegeta's, his wrist loosely held in Vegeta's hand. "Hold me. Don't let me go," Kakarott breathed, melting back against him.

Vegeta groaned at this passive…_submissive_… move of his mate's, tightening his grip before he even realized he had done so. Kakarott was not submissive by nature, and the realization he did so voluntarily sent a surge of protective need race through him. The bond he had with his mate meant if Kakarott said 'no' he would be mentally and physically incapable of proceeding any further – by choosing him for a mate Vegeta knew at some level he had voluntarily submitted to Kakarott.

He carefully bent his mate's leg, exposing him to his gentle touch and brushed slick fingertips over Kakarott's skin. Kakarott sighed and shivered against him when he located the bundle of sensitive nerves.

The way Kakarott felt in his mind, against him, around him was overwhelming; for seemingly endless minutes all he could do was wrap his arms around his mate, holding him close, treasuring this moment, and committing it to memory.

"I need you Kakarott," he whispered against the smooth shoulder of his mate. He heard Kakarott's answering breath and his own hitched at the flood of affection he experienced. Without conscious thought, he began to move, slowly, carefully… almost lazily. He refused to rush, wanting this pleasure to last. Kakarott made a contented moan, surrendering to him completely, letting Vegeta set the pace.

When Kakarott leaned his head back, resting on his shoulder, Vegeta took full advantage of it. He breathed his passion in Kakarott's ear, tracing its curves and folds with his tongue. Vegeta carefully sent waves of ki flowing through his mate with each rock of his hips, wanting to hear more of his mate's passionate cries.

The sound was intoxicating; Kakarott whined and sighed, Vegeta's name broken down into needy exhalations. He could feel his own release building, his moans joining Kakarott's as their bodies moved together. He shuddered with his mate, his cry of release joining Kakarott's.

Vegeta curled his arms around his mate, holding him close, while their breathing returned to normal and heartbeat slowed. Without conscious thought he sent a gentle flow of ki through Kakarott, restoring his energy. Kakarott sighed and twisted in his arms, making himself more comfortable.

"I liked that," Kakarott smiled at him.

Vegeta smirked – there had been no doubt in his mind. "What a surprise."

Kakarott grinned, "Cocky bastard."

"Damn right."

TBC 

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	10. Moments

**Patience**  
**_By Pixelgoddess_**

Summary – Vegeta has had his eye on Goku for years, but isn't willing to make the first move. Will either of them bend?

This started out life as a series of one-shots, with required sentences – first 'Why did you stop?', then 'I've been waiting a long time for this' and 'You wouldn't dare.' Now look what has happened – it's taken on a life of its own.

Pairings – oh please – I almost never write anything _but_ Goku and Vegeta. What do you think?

Warnings – This is **me** you are talking about – expect smut and angst, pretty much in equal measure. With enough sap to thin it out. Goku/Vegeta. Sex. Kissing. Smut. Yaoi. (Does everyone know what that means?) And now that the cat is out of the bag – mpreg.

A disclaimer too? sighs Would I worry about paying my bills if I owned them? Hell, if I owned them, there would have been more naked Saiyans, more sex, Goku would have saved Vegeta, and the prince would have been the one to pound the lizard to a pulp.

**Chapter 10 - Moments**

Vegeta watched in disbelief as Kakarott got dressed.

"What are you doing?" he demanded.

Kakarott stopped pulling on his heavy boots long enough to glance up. "Getting dressed?" he said doubtfully.

"I can see that," Vegeta retorted. "Why are you wearing _those_ clothes?" he gestured at the weighted articles Kakarott had spread out on the bed.

"This is what I always wear when I train." Kakarott looked at him questioningly, "You're not going to try and keep me from training, are you?"

"I didn't say that. I just want to know why you are wearing those."

"I told you – I'm training."

"Kakarott…you shouldn't be adding all that extra weight." It wasn't that he was worried about the baby; it was safe no matter what stress Kakarott put on his system. His mate was another matter.

The more he learned about the Tuffles and the butchery they had done to Saiyan genes, the more he hated them. It wasn't enough for them to manipulate males, never meant to carry children, into tasans. No, their work went on to ensure the survival of the child even at the cost of the tasan's life if necessary. No wonder they were mated – it took someone strong they could depend on to always be around to give them energy. And if something did happen to the tasan, the body's dwindling resources were funneled to the unborn child. The Tuffles valued the malleable child over its parent, even taking the choice away from the tasan's mate. Records told of tasans near death being callously cut open to remove the infant to be placed in an incubator tank. He didn't want to think about what the bastards might have done with those children.

Kakarott ignored his objection and continued to get dressed.

"Damn it, Kakarott. Listen to me! You're carrying enough extra weight! You don't need to add more." He groaned inwardly as he felt the spark of anger from his mate as Kakarott glared at him in disbelief.

"This isn't fat, Vegeta," Kakarott growled, obviously annoyed and more than a little hurt. "It's not like I can do anything about it – and if you had any objections it's too late to do anything about them now. So I weigh more. Deal with it!" He jerked on his wristbands and stomped his feet into his boots.

Vegeta moved to block him from leaving the bedroom. "Kakarott…" He tried to remind himself that his mate's bad mood was due to the unpredictability of this pregnancy, and not due to anything Vegeta had done, but it was hard to keep his own temper under control.

"Move, Vegeta. I'm not in a good mood."

"Damn it – don't be stupid. You know I didn't mean it like that." He had no objections to Kakarott training – he was actually pleased he felt strong today. He was even going to suggest it before walking in on him dressing and realized he was going to put unnecessary stress on his body.

"And now I'm stupid!? Move," he growled, "before I move you."

Vegeta gave a resigned sigh and stepped aside. He didn't want to fight with his mate – he wanted to protect him. Why couldn't Kakarott see that? Maybe he didn't express himself well, but with the mood Kakarott was in this morning he doubted if he would have followed Vegeta's advice no matter what he said. But damn it, why did he insist on wearing all of those weights now? He was going to hurt himself if he wasn't careful.

If it had been Bulma he would have argued with her until he made her see reason; it wasn't always possible, but it had been known to happen. At least she fought back – loudly. He grinned momentarily at the memory. They had some spectacular fights, shouting and raging at each other before making up just as loudly.

But Kakarott was not Bulma and at times he found himself struggling to learn how to adapt his techniques to a different partner.

He had learned that fighting with Kakarott just made him more stubborn. Kakarott didn't like to fight the way she did – instead he growled his displeasure and walked away. Vegeta knew he didn't own him and didn't think he acted like he did. His mate was no child to be ordered about or scolded. He just wished Kakarott would accept him as his mate; it would have make things so much easier. Surely then, Kakarott would _know_ he was just trying to take care of him.

He wasn't even sure why he hadn't pressed the matter. He didn't feel especially patient; just tired. He went through their dresser, verifying their supply of senzu, just in case. He spotted a pair of Kakarott's blue gi bottoms, and on impulse took them out and tossed them onto the bed. After a few minutes he had assembled a training outfit he felt was more appropriate for his mate in his condition. He left the pants, a black tank top, and lightweight black shoes where Kakarott would see them. His mate wouldn't listen, but maybe he'd see this and realize Vegeta wasn't trying to keep him from exercising – he just wanted him to train more safely.

That done, he went outside to start his own training.

He started his stretching and warm-up routine, keenly aware of Kakarott's presence and ki level as his mate began his own preparations. Out of the corner of his eye he caught Kakarott looking at him before quickly turning away. Vegeta scowled and began a simple kata to get himself under control.

He slid effortlessly from one routine to the next, slowly raising his energy level, forcing himself to remain in complete control of every erg, wasting no movement. This is what he had worked towards for years; the rage and frustration at his competition with Kakarott and the universe in general finally quieted. It had taken too many years to learn this calm patience, but now that he knew its power he refused to submit to those darker emotions and give it up.

He finished his form and stood in ritual formal position, enjoying the gentle burn of muscles just starting to warm up. His enjoyment was tempered by the awareness of Kakarott's discomfort. He was stubbornly continuing to work through a kata in his weighted uniform. He could feel the frustration and beginnings of soreness coming from his mate and understood from experience how much that emotion could sap his strength away.

He noticed a slight misstep as Kakarott misjudged his stance, as well as his annoyed intake of breath at the error. As he had anticipated, Kakarott was having difficulty adjusting to the combined weights. Vegeta narrowed his eyes, studying him as he moved through the kata. Kakarott was already struggling to continue, sweating profusely and making minor errors. No one else would have noticed, but after years of observation Vegeta was acutely aware of Kakarott's instinctive balance and grace in combat.

Vegeta walked to the shade of their cabin and drank from a convenient bottle of water, leaning against the wall to watch as Kakarott continued to train. He was pleased to note his mate's ki remained strong throughout the kata, the waves of energy flowing well. The only times his energy varied was when he was thrown off, not quite anticipating the way his body would move with the extra weight. He was becoming increasingly concerned about Kakarott twisting an ankle or straining his back – not something that a Saiyan would even notice under most circumstances, but something that would make his mate uncomfortable while he healed.

Kakarott finished his kata, his wince at the final position glaringly obvious. Vegeta bit back a remark along the lines of 'I told you so' and held out a bottle of water instead. Kakarott hesitated a moment, aware he had been the object of scrutiny, before sighing and heading over to the shade.

"Nice weather," Vegeta said conversationally. He could feel Kakarott's embarrassment and wasn't in the mood to continue their fight.

Kakarott stared at him in disbelief. "What?"

"I said 'nice weather'."

"Oh, I heard you," Kakarott scowled, leaning against the wall beside him, "Why aren't you giving me a hard time about training? I know you were watching me."

Vegeta shrugged, "Would it do any good? You're not a child, Kakarott. You can make your own decisions." _Even bad ones_, he added to himself.

Kakarott sighed, the frustration he felt obvious. "I can't even do things I like anymore. And it's only six months… What's going to happen to me? If I can't train I'll go crazy."

"You can still train."

Kakarott laughed bitterly. "Sure. You saw me. I suck. I can't even do forms I could do as a child without making a mistake."

"You should make allowances, Kakarott. The baby has changed your balance. You just need to relearn it. You adjusted to the loss of your tail – why should this be any different?"

"Yeah," Kakarott slumped against the wall. "But this seems harder."

"That's because your body is constantly changing." Vegeta pushed away from the wall and stretched, ready to continue his own training. "Go take off those weights – then come out to train some more."

Kakarott shook his head, a tiny smile actually reaching his eyes. "You are so different from what I expected."

"Contrary to what the Namek thinks, I am _not_ a total dickhead," he smirked.

Kakarott laughed and headed into the cabin. "I'll be right back," he called over his shoulder.

He returned several minutes later, clad in the clothing Vegeta had chosen for him. Vegeta decided right then he preferred Kakarott like this. The dark shirt contrasted with his pale skin and revealed more of his muscular arms and chest.

"Better?" Kakarott asked.

"Much," he purred.

--

Vegeta woke with a mumbled growl, trying to decide what had disturbed his sleep. He grimaced to himself as he realized he must have been more tired than he had realized; Kakarott had managed to get out of bed and leave the room without waking him.

He stretched out on the bed, breathing in the odors of food cooking, and checked his mate's ki. Low – but that was normal for Kakarott as he approached the six month mark. There were no longer any catastrophic drops in ki, but Dende had expressed some concern over the fact that it remained disturbingly low; according to records, most tasans had been able to maintain decent levels by now. Trying to keep Kakarott's ki at a reasonable level was an effort at times, requiring constant monitoring by Vegeta as he tapped into his own considerable resources to supply his mate with energy.

Vegeta was surprised to realize it was nearly 10:00am; hours after his normal time to get up. Last night had been more draining than usual as Kakarott battled with nightmares that seemed to deplete them both. Granted, he had adjusted his schedule to cope with Kakarott's pregnancy, but even so, he rarely stayed in bed this late - except for sex.

He dragged himself out of bed, still feeling slightly drained. After pulling on a pair of loose pants he padded out to the kitchen.

He shook his head in amusement. Kakarott had set the table and was progressively filling plates and serving dishes with an assortment of foods in quantities designed to restore any Saiyan. This was Kakarott's idea of breakfast – cold cuts, breads, salad, eggs, bacon, fruit… After experiencing the Briefs typical family breakfast – sweets, pancakes, waffles or cereal – his learning about the Son version seemed to explain a lot about their seemingly endless energy levels.

"Oh good – you're awake," Kakarott said, placing a plate with an overstuffed omelet on the table in front of him.

"That's good timing," he replied, sitting down and taking a bite.

Kakarott grinned, "Not really. I've been making them, and then eating them, waiting for you to get up."

"So how many have you had?"

"Just two – I haven't been up that long."

"This is excellent – any chance of seconds?"

"Already cooking."

Vegeta nodded his approval and continued eating, polishing off the first plateful just as Kakarott brought him the second. His mate turned to start yet another, but Vegeta stopped him, "That's enough – you aren't some servant. If I want another I'll make it myself."

Kakarott tilted his head and smiled at him with a shrug, "I don't mind, honest."

"I know _you_ don't – but _I_ do. Sit down and eat what's here Kakarott – you've done enough."

Kakarott decided to follow his suggestion – something of a surprise – and made himself a sandwich. "You're so forceful."

Vegeta rolled his eyes and growled his amusement at the idea of being able to force Kakarott to do anything. "Eat. You need your strength."

Their meal was long and leisurely, Vegeta refusing to let Kakarott get up for forgotten items. "We have robots for things like that," he reminded his mate, sending the machine off to fetch more milk from the refrigerator.

He finally sat back with a contented sigh, surveying the remnants of their meal. "I do prefer your breakfasts, Kakarott."

"Do you feel better now?" Kakarott asked, "You were looking kind of worn out."

Vegeta made a wry smile – he was fine; some food and rest and he was completely recovered. Kakarott was the one who looked tired – eating had helped some, but not enough. While Kakarott didn't have nightmares every night, once the cycle started the dreams returned every time he dozed off again, disrupting his sleep for the rest of the night. Vegeta couldn't imagine what could be causing his mate to have so many nightmares – what kind of things could possibly be troubling someone like Kakarott? He'd asked, but his mate either couldn't or wouldn't tell him.

"Don't worry about me," he said. "What do you have planned for today?"

Kakarott looked troubled, "I was supposed to go see Piccolo, but I'm having trouble reading ki today. He's alright, isn't he?"

This was yet another frustration for Kakarott; when his ki was low he had trouble sensing others. Considering how much difficulty his mate was finding with things he had always taken for granted it was no surprise he found being pregnant extremely difficult to cope with. Vegeta was positive if he were the one who was pregnant his own reaction would have been anger. As a matter of fact, there was a damn good chance he would have punched Kakarott in the face for 'doing this' to him. There was no way in hell he would have been as calm and accepting about this as Kakarott was.

"Yes – he signaled me a few hours ago. He went into one of those rooms at the Lookout." Just as well, he mused – the Namek's ki had been off somehow. Echoing? He was probably trying some new split form technique; because for a time there he was sure he sensed his own energy.

"Piccolo signaled _you_?" Kakarott asked, surprised.

Vegeta scowled – he hadn't really meant to let Kakarott know he had made arrangements with the Namek to be sure one of them was always available. "Yes."

"And without bloodshed," Kakarott grinned at him, obviously recognizing how much Vegeta disliked having to admit to any voluntary communication with Piccolo. "Then I guess I'll train here."

Vegeta made a resigned sigh. "Kakarott – I know you won't listen to me….but can't you do something less strenuous? Take it easy? Rest? Just for one day."

Kakarott laughed, "You sound like I used to."

"Now I know how you felt." In prior years, Kakarott would visit him at the gravity room, and try to convince him he was working too hard and should take a break, usually with little success.

"Well," he said, considering, "I did kind of want to watch some of those food shows."

"So do that today – you can train again tomorrow if you feel up to it."

"Okay," Kakarott said, getting up and heading out of the kitchen. "I'll start resting now."

"What?" Vegeta sputtered, looking at the dishes still covering the table and the counter.

Kakarott popped his head back around the corner and grinned, "Make sure you cover the leftovers before putting them in the fridge."

"Sneaky bastard," he muttered as he cleared the food off the table before calling the robots to clean up the rest of the kitchen.

--

Vegeta stepped out of the shower and flared his ki a moment to dry himself. He'd managed to get a few hours of training in before going in to make sure his mate was resting as promised. He got dressed and went to find him.

Kakarott was sprawled out on the couch, laptop and pad within reach, recipes scattered around him. His mate looked so involved in what he was doing – scribbling notes on a recipe printout – that he probably hadn't realized the room had started to get chilly. Vegeta picked up a convenient blanket and placed it over Kakarott's legs.

Kakarott blinked up at him in surprise; he hadn't noticed Vegeta enter the room.

"Oh! Vegeta. Hi," he smiled, gathering up some of the papers to make room on the couch. "I've got some new recipes to try."

Vegeta picked up the notebook, and on flipping it open hesitated when he realized it was Kakarott's precious cookbook. Kakarott must have noticed him pause.

"It's okay. You're not a clumsy robot."

Vegeta grinned and turned the pages carefully. One of the cleaning robots had nearly spilled something on the book; only quick intervention had rescued it. That had been one of the few times he had seen Kakarott lose his temper; there had been a moment when he thought they were going to have to replace a destroyed robot.

He could understand his mate's reaction – this book was irreplaceable. Each page had been carefully handwritten by Chichi, obviously done as she was teaching him how to cook. Kakarott had written his own notes on each recipe with reminders and special touches.

"You're very lucky, Kakarott," he said with a twinge of jealousy; he hadn't had that kind of time with Bulma.

"I know," Kakarott said softly. "I'm so glad she spent the time to teach me. That's how I got you."

Vegeta chuckled. "Fed me so well I couldn't escape."

Kakarott grinned at him, "Maybe that was the plan the whole time."

"Curses – I've fallen victim to your evil plot."

Kakarott guffawed, "You've been watching too much TV."

"So what are these dates?" he asked, pointing to Kakarott's writing on the back of the pages. Some of the dates had notes or cartoon smiles next to them.

"That's when I made them – Chichi said it wasn't good to repeat meals too often. They get boring if you have them all the time."

Vegeta smiled to himself at how Kakarott still followed his wife's harmless obsession. "Do you really like to cook?"

"Yeah – I really do. I didn't think I would at first, but Chichi insisted I be able to take care of myself. She made me keep at it so I started thinking of it as training. After awhile I started to enjoy it. It's kind of like science and art combined…you don't just follow the recipe, you modify it and tweak it and make it your own."

Kakarott put aside his collection of papers and leaned against him, wrapped in the blanket. Vegeta put an arm around his mate, drawing him closer. Kakarott sighed contentedly and made commentary about the different dishes as Vegeta turned the page. He spotted a recipe that seemed familiar, and on turning the page to confirm it, burst out laughing. It was the dessert that had won him over, and next to a date – almost a year ago – was a line of hearts and smiley faces.

"Hey," Kakarott protested, embarrassed.

Vegeta chuckled at his reaction. "It's missing something, though," he said, reaching for a pencil. He hesitated over the page for a moment, just in case Kakarott objected. He felt no concern from his mate, so he added a few quick flourishes next to the faces. "There – the symbol of the Royal House of Vegeta – proof of my approval."

--

Vegeta settled down at the end of the couch, book in hand. Kakarott was flipping through a pile of mail delivered by a boy from the nearby village.

"Anything interesting?" Vegeta asked.

"New magazines," Kakarott replied, sorting the items into piles, "Not much else unless you consider bills interesting." He looked at the size of the stack of bills and frowned. "I guess I haven't gone to the village in awhile. Kind of lost track."

"It looks that way," he said, picking up the pile and flipping through it. "Kakarott… this is a phone bill. They're going to turn off the service."

"Are they?" Kakarott said distractedly. "It doesn't matter. No one calls anyway."

"The electric is next," he said with some concern. This wasn't like Kakarott. The boy who brought the mail up had said he hadn't been down to the village for months; his grandmother – obviously the local busybody – had insisted the boy come up the mountain to check on Kakarott. The kid had been bold, he'd give him that, coming right out and asking Vegeta if he and Kakarott were boyfriends. Vegeta had chuckled at the idea at first before shrugging and agreeing - why not? Like most human words it was inadequate but was probably all the boy could comprehend.

It bothered him to realize he hadn't noticed this major change in Kakarott's habits. His mate used to go to the village every week or so for special food items or just to visit. He spent much of the time chatting with random people and even signing the occasional autograph. Vegeta had been surprised to learn Kakarott was something of a celebrity there, recognized for his Budokai appearances. No one ever commented on the fact he appeared much as he did years ago, simply accepting this as just one more unique feature of their hero.

"I've been giving you enough to cover all of this, haven't I?" He'd long since arranged for regular deliveries of groceries – food shopping was not on his preferred list of things to do. He hadn't intended to leave all of this up to Kakarott – he just seemed to want to continue handling the household finances.

Kakarott nodded, "Oh yeah – way more than enough. I just forgot."

"Do you like to do this kind of thing?" Vegeta asked curiously, indicating the stack of bills. Even if he'd had the opportunity to rule he wouldn't have dealt with day-to-day items like this and it still amazed him that anyone would do so voluntarily or without compensation. As far as he was concerned, time was better spent other ways.

"Paying bills? No. Who does? It's just something that has to be done." He sighed. "I guess I'll have to take care of this tomorrow," he said without enthusiasm.

"No – tomorrow we're going to take all of this to my business manager. There's no sense in either one of us dealing with these petty matters if we don't want to or have to. We'll let him to handle this." He should have suggested this earlier; there was no reason either one of them should waste their time on such mundane issues. He had hired someone to deal with his own finances years ago.

"Vegeta… I can't afford that."

"_We_ can," he said, flipping through the rest of the pile. He could sense Kakarott's hesitation. "You seem to forget I am Bulma's heir and she was one of the wealthiest people on this planet. I have more money than I could possibly spend. _We_ have more money," he corrected. "You don't think I sit and pay bills every month, do you? You don't have to either. There's no sense in you spending all this time dealing with tasks like this."

"I couldn't take your money…"

"Kakarott – you are my chosen mate." He made a mental note to take care of whatever legal procedures were required on this planet to be sure his mate and child's rights would be protected if something ever happened to him. He'd have to teach him how to analyze the quarterly activity reports as well. "The money is _ours_. We could spend absurd amounts every single day and not make a dent. Is there anything you want? A bigger house? A fleet of cars? A driver? Jewelry? Gadgets? Something else?" He grinned at a ridiculous thought. "How about a life-size statue of the dragon for the front yard? Or maybe a stadium named after you? Hell, Kakarott - you could have it all. Just name it."

His mate looked dubious, obviously confused at such a new idea.

"You're serious."

"Completely."

"You're sure? I'd be really happy not to have to deal with bills, but won't he mind the extra work?"

Vegeta chuckled, "He's paid not to mind. We should have taken care of this months ago." He laid a suggestive hand on his mate's leg, "This way you'll have time for more important things."

Kakarott grinned and picked up a magazine, "Like reading?"

Vegeta smirked – he knew a tease when he heard it. "For now."

He settled back with his book, pleased he had managed to convince Kakarott to agree. He opened up his mystery, chuckling now and then at the difficulty the killers were having with disposing of the body. He doubted Saiyans would have written stories like this – when they killed someone there was no body left. Humans were so entertainingly squeamish about coping with corpses.

"Hey," Kakarott said, "That's me."

Vegeta moved over to look at the picture. Kakarott was in an arena, facing down his three-eyed friend, Tien.

"You were young then."

"Yeah…that was my second tournament."

"You won of course."

Kakarott laughed, "Nope. But it was really close. I didn't even know how to fly then. I learned that from Tien."

Vegeta shook his head, bemused. He couldn't imagine not knowing how to fly – on Vegetasei anyone with a decent level of ki could. And Kakarott losing to a human? It didn't seem possible.

"Oh," Kakarott said softly, turning a page to reveal more pictures that included him and many of his friends. He gazed at the page for a long silent moment before closing the magazine and putting it aside.

Vegeta frowned and picked it up, trying to understand the cause of his mate's sudden distress. There were quite a few pictures of Kakarott and his friends covering many years of competition. He skimmed over the article and was surprised to learn this was the 50th – hence the coverage of prior tournaments for this anniversary Budokai.

Vegeta continued to read the article, ignoring the many references to the foolish Mr. Satan. He smiled to himself on finding photos of his son sparring with Kakarott's youngest. That had been a bad year for him, culminating in the disastrous Buu fiasco – he was glad Trunks displayed so much Saiyan spirit in spite of how little Vegeta had been involved in his upbringing up until then. At least he had finally realized what a fool he had been and had done his best to correct that mistake in the years that followed. When Trunks had died they had been comfortable with each other at last and Vegeta didn't regret the difficult effort he'd made to change.

He flipped to the next page and chuckled. There was a picture of Piccolo and a young Kakarott exchanging blows. He imagined the Namek found the battle more difficult than he expected – he _knew_ Kakarott had won this contest.

"Did you fight against _all_ of your friends?" he teased.

"It sure seemed that way. Piccolo was the only one who seemed determined to kill me though – well except for you."

"At least _I_ didn't succeed," Vegeta agreed. If he had, where would he be now? Assuming he survived, he was positive he wouldn't have had his family – something he had come to value.

"Heh…yeah. Piccolo seemed to calm down a lot after that. And becoming friends with Gohan really changed him. If not for him, I'm not sure if Piccolo would have become good – he struggled with it a lot more than you ever did."

"You're kidding, right?" For years he had battled with himself daily to keep from destroying anyone or anything that had annoyed him. He found it difficult to believe the usually stoic Namek had the same impulses or urges.

"No, I'm not. He respected other fighters, but he wasn't really nice to anyone but Gohan until after he fused with Nail and later on, Kami."

Vegeta grimaced – respect was something Piccolo had earned long before he had. Even when he tried to change it was hard when so many were convinced he would fail. Come to think of it, the Namek was one of the first to show him any kind of respect even if they did verbally snipe at each other constantly. Bulma's acceptance of him and her willingness to give him time to change was what had helped him most. He was also helped by Kakarott's easy friendship, which had taken him forever to accept and even longer to appreciate.

"The tournament is in a few weeks…do you want to go?" Vegeta asked.  "We can get front row tickets." He didn't really want to participate – and Kakarott couldn't in his condition. If Kakarott wasn't an opponent there was no challenge – humans were much too easy to defeat.

"No," Kakarott shook his head, "I don't know anyone there anymore."

"I find that hard to believe," Vegeta said. Didn't Kakarott have friends around the world? He had in the past; surely he hadn't become such a recluse his friends would forget him?

Kakarott glanced over at him, shaking his head, before moving to get up. Vegeta reacted without consciously thinking – all he knew was something had caused his mate distress and he wanted to know what – catching his arm and pulling him back down.

"What?" Kakarott asked, confused at the impulsive move.

He looked at his mate in helpless frustration, wishing he could read Kakarott's mind. He swallowed, trying to push down the growing annoyance at Kakarott's hesitance to confide in him. His mate was too good at hiding things behind seemingly innocent eyes.

"Kakarott…" he began, trying to find the right words. Actually talking about anything was so damn difficult to start with, but he had become aware of a growing need to understand more about his mate. He nearly sighed – maybe there were no right words.

"I know we are both lousy at talking about things, but I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong." Vegeta had grudgingly admitted how much being mated had changed him. He had known it would, but never realized the extent of the impact of having Kakarott in his head.

"Nothing's wrong," he mumbled.

"That's a lie and we both know it," he said slightly annoyed that his mate continued to hide problems from him. He had a disturbing thought that would go a long way towards explaining Kakarott's hesitance. "Have you changed your mind? You don't want to be my mate and you're afraid to tell me? Is that it?"

"_No!_" Kakarott protested, staring at him wide-eyed shock. He spoke quickly, panic evident in his voice. "I do want to be your mate, honest. Even without the baby. I do. You've got to believe me."

"I'm worried about you. You aren't yourself… You've changed and I can't help but think I'm somehow responsible. You rarely leave the house except to train. You hardly ever smile anymore. You get upset or depressed all the time. You don't visit your friends."

"That's because they're all dead!" Kakarott exclaimed.

Vegeta looked at him, surprised at the sudden explosion of grief he felt from his mate. "That's not true," he said gently. "What about that boy from the village? Or his grandmother? They invited us to their house for dinner sometime…aren't they your friends?"

"It's not the same," Kakarott said quietly. "I can't feel them at all anymore… This used to be so much easier. How do other people do it? Now I don't know if they're friends. How can I tell?"

Vegeta didn't respond; he didn't know how to. He wasn't even sure if he could or should. Kakarott was trying to tell him what was wrong and he was afraid to interrupt him and stop the somewhat jumbled flow of information.

"I can't feel anyone now – they might as well be dead. Maybe they are. How would I even know? Suno died a few months ago and I didn't even realize it. I don't even know if it is better or worse knowing. I mean, I felt so bad not being there. I went to visit her and she was already gone.

"It didn't used to be like this… Maybe it's better that I don't know.  Hasn't there been enough death in my life? I don't want more. I don't think I can deal with it."

Vegeta watched him, feeling Kakarott's grief and confusion flowing through him. He had wanted to know what was wrong, but the torrent of words just increased the pain flooding from his mate. He almost wished he'd stop if only that would make Kakarott feel less miserable.

"I felt them all die," Kakarott whispered. "All of them… Every time. Gohan. Chichi. Goten. Krillin. Yamcha. B-" He interrupted himself to take a gulping breath of air. "All of my oldest friends – people I really cared about – the ones I knew best growing up – are dead. And I felt them all die. I knew the exact instant when they were gone and how they felt. Yamcha's fear… Krillin's anger… Some were quick but others suffered – and I knew. I was so glad Chichi died in her sleep… But I still knew the instant when her heart finally stopped. I had been so close to them and they're all gone. All I have left is you and Piccolo. I don't know if I want more friends. How many times do I have to go through that? Maybe not being able to feel people is a good thing…"

A part of Vegeta seemed to be sinking; was he hearing this right? Not being able to feel him was a good thing? "I didn't know you had that ability." he finally said, not sure what else to say.

Kakarott hung his head. "I didn't used to… and I can't really feel every single person. But the ones I can…it's all the people I'm closest to. All my oldest friends and family. They were such a huge part of my life. And now they're all gone. And I miss them all so much."

"Kakarott… I know how it feels to lose someone so important to you… I was close to Bulma and Trunks; I knew when they died, so to an extent I understand what you went through. But you know death isn't the terrible thing humans think it is. After all, you've been dead yourself. And they were good people; I'm sure they all went to Otherworld or their spirit has come back in a different body."

"I know that… but…" Kakarott took a deep breath and Vegeta could hear the bitten cry as he fought to control himself. "They're not _here_ with me. They're… Everyone's gone. All of them: Chichi, Krillin, Yamcha… even my sons… they're all gone. And I'm still here. Every time one of them died it hurt all over again. And I keep dreaming about the last time – the last time I felt them – the last time I held them… and I… I miss them. Sometimes it's almost like they're haunting me."

"Why would your friends be haunting you?" At least, he mused, none of Kakarott's friends or relatives were likely to end up in Hell; perhaps then he could understand his distress. Personally, he'd have given a lot to be able to haunt Frieza.

"They don't always…sometimes the dreams are nice… happy. Most of the time I have good dreams… But that just makes the bad ones worse. I'll be having a good dream and then something will change…and they die. And I can't do anything to save them. And once the nightmares start--"

"They don't stop," Vegeta finished, understanding this pain. He still missed Bulma and his family – but at a complete loss how to help his mate.. Over the years he'd just learned to live with the loss – to lock the pain away so it stopped eating at him every day. He thought Kakarott had done that long ago – he'd lost so many more people than Vegeta who were close to him.  He'd wanted to know what Kakarott's nightmares were, but now that he knew he wasn't sure what to do.

Kakarott shook his head miserably. "Sometimes it's just one person dying over and over and over…other times it's everyone…one after another all night long and they just keep dying and dying and dying."

"You didn't used to have these nightmares, did you? I don't remember you having this problem when we first started sleeping together."

"No, not really. I'd have them sometimes, but it never was as bad as it is now," Kakarott said sadly. "I dreamed about Gohan a lot after he died – but it was nothing like this. It's like I'm reliving everyone's deaths over and over again. I don't understand why they are getting worse. What's wrong with me?"

Vegeta reached over and brushed fingertips over his mate's cheek, intensely aware of Kakarott's distress, but recognizing there was little he could do to stop the torment of nightmares. "I'm sorry… I don't know how to make them stop," he said apologetically.

 "It doesn't help that I feel like so many of their deaths were my fault… I should have done something. I should have been there. I should have--" Kakarott took a long shuddering breath. "I'm sorry. I know I should be stronger. It's just – I feel so useless lately. Completely helpless. I know I haven't always been like this but I'm just so out of control now. I can't stop myself."

"Kakarott – you said yourself you haven't always had nightmares like this. I wouldn't be surprised if it has something to do with your pregnancy. After the baby is born you will be back to normal. There's no reason for you to apologize."

"But if this pregnancy is so difficult – how am I going to want to get pregnant again?"

Vegeta looked at him in surprise. This baby was a totally unplanned accident, and while he had imagined early on there might be more children later, as Kakarott struggled more and more he had come to accept this would be their only child. Kakarott's words sunk in and he realized there might be more someday, he made a wry smile. "Why don't we get through this one before making that decision?"

Kakarott made a small smile and brushed his knuckles over Vegeta's cheek, "What would I do without you?"

"Well for one thing, you wouldn't be pregnant," he smirked.

Kakarott made a tiny laugh and allowed himself be wrapped in his arms. "I don't really mind. I just wish everything made more sense, you know. Why does it have to be such a struggle?"

"Hmmm," he agreed. "I don't know what to do about your dreams – I wish I did."

"I don't think there is anything you _can_ do. At least I wasn't conscious during Buu so I haven't felt you die for a long, long time. I can't imagine life without you anymore. I don't know what I'd do if I started dreaming about you dying too."

--

Vegeta woke to the sound of Kakarott's anguished cries yet again. At least he finally knew the cause – but he didn't know how to make things any easier for his mate.

"Kakarott," he said softly, "Wake up – it's just a dream." His words had no effect; Kakarott continued to make soft sounds of distress.

"Vegeta…"

He let out a sigh of relief. "It's alright, Kakarott."

"No. Whatever it is – I'm sorry."

Vegeta frowned at the misery in his voice. It was evident his mate was still dreaming.

"Please. Please – don't do this."

He shook Kakarott roughly. "Wake up, damn it." The pain – the fear his mate felt was pouring through him, the feelings too strong for him to ignore.

"Please Vegeta… tell me what I did wrong. I promise I'll never do it again."

Kakarott was weeping now – something so rare that he paused for a moment in his attempts to wake him, staring at his mate in horrified astonishment. "Kakarott – what's wrong? Wake up. It's not real."

"Don't leave me like this!"

"I can never--" Vegeta protested, even though he knew Kakarott couldn't hear him.

"No. _No_. Stop it! Vegeta!"

He felt panicked as Kakarott's ki began to drain away, leaving little behind besides the store the baby refused to relinquish.

"No! _Vegeta!_" Kakarott wailed, his ki plummeting in an instant as he died.

TBC 


	11. Devastation

**Patience**  
**_By Pixelgoddess_**

Summary - Vegeta has had his eye on Goku for years, but isn't willing to make the first move. Will either of them bend?

This started out life as a series of one-shots, with required sentences - first 'Why did you stop?', then 'I've been waiting a long time for this' and 'You wouldn't dare.' Now look what has happened - it's taken on a life of its own.

Pairings - oh please - I almost never write anything _but_ Goku and Vegeta. What do you think?  
Warnings - This is **me** you are talking about - expect smut and angst, pretty much in equal measure. With enough sap to thin it out. Goku/Vegeta. Sex. Kissing. Smut. Yaoi. (Does everyone know what that means?) And now that the cat is out of the bag - mpreg.  
A disclaimer too? sighs Would I worry about paying my bills if I owned them? Hell, if I owned them, there would have been more naked Saiyans, more sex, Goku would have saved Vegeta, and the prince would have been the one to pound the lizard to a pulp.

**Chapter 11 - Devastation**

Vegeta lay in the yard where he collapsed, too exhausted to even try to move. He felt the arrival of the Namek but couldn't be bothered.

"Oh shit. Not again." He heard a hint of panic in Piccolo's voice and felt a tiny surge of satisfaction. Panic? The Namek didn't know panic. He refused to acknowledge his presence until the Namek crouched down beside him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Vegeta?"

"What do you want?" he growled, opening an eye to glare at Kakarott's friend. Some friend - where was he last night when he was needed?

"You're alright?" Piccolo asked, his face a strange purplish hue. "For a minute I thought"

"I'm fine," he said, smacking the Namek's hand away. "Just fucking wonderful."

"Where's Goku? We were supposed to--"

"What the hell do you care?" he spat, painfully climbing to his feet. "You were so busy with your damn split form training - trying to copy my ki- "

"That wasn't-" Piccolo began, but he ignored the interruption.

"--that you couldn't even pay attention to what was happening to your friend. What? Do you think you can trick him into leaving me by making yourself more like me?"

"Don't be stupid, Vegeta. I wouldn't do that even if I could."

A thought struck him and he glared venomously at the Namek, "And if I find out it was your fault, I swear by the gods I _will_ kill you."

It was hard to tell with the Namek's green skin, but Vegeta swore he blanched. Piccolo started to say something, but hesitated, obviously checking for Kakarott's low ki. "What happened?" he asked in a low voice.

"What happened? What happened was that Kakarott almost died last night." He sat down heavily on a nearby boulder, suddenly too tired to fight. Lack of sleep and his mate's exhausting drain on his ki had completely sapped his energy. He closed his eyes, remembering the long hellish minutes as he poured every erg of his ki into his mate, pleading with him not to leave him.

When Kakarott had stopped breathing he felt something vital being ripped out of him even as he covered his mate's mouth with his own, forcing oxygen into his lungs. He was torn between cursing their child then for holding onto his precious ki, and grateful it was able to maintain enough to survive this emergency. He ascended, pushing ki through his mate's body as a pulse, using his own will to force his heart to beat and his lungs to fill. He completely curled himself around Kakarott, arms and legs enfolding him, trying to ignore the panicked voice crying 'don't leave me'. He felt a huge surge of relief when he finally felt his mate's chest expand against him as his lungs filled on their own and his heartbeat responded to his pulse of energy. He carefully adjusted his ki to coincide with the beating of Kakarott's heart, not wanting to put anymore strain on his already stressed system.

When Kakarott had finally opened his eyes, he first expressed his surprise and delight at discovering they had been allowed to stay together in death and wondered where they were. With his next breath he berated Vegeta for killing himself, so disoriented he apparently believed Vegeta would voluntarily leave his mate. And then Kakarott had noticed the tears in Vegeta's eyes. Vegeta had wept openly then, clutching his mate tightly, too relieved to speak or convince Kakarott they were both still alive.

He told the Namek what happened in a tired monotone, leaving out his own emotional reaction. He did take some pleasure in being the one who finally discovered the cause of is mate's nightmares, making a point of emphasizing that Kakarott had told him.

"And the baby?" Piccolo asked, concerned.

"Fine," Vegeta growled. It had all happened so fast - whatever protection the Tuffle scientists had given to the tasans' fetuses had apparently worked; the child could survive at least a short time. It angered him - how could the Tuffles have manipulated his race so much? While he'd never tell Kakarott - he knew his mate would disagree - he'd give up the unborn child in an instant to save his mate's life.

"Goku saw it?" Piccolo said alarmed, "And he almost died as a result?"

"He swears it was real - that I died - killed myself. Even now I can't convince him it was just another nightmare."

"I knew I should have--" Piccolo looked troubled. "But how did he feel it? It shouldn't have been possible if he's lost his ability."

"I told you - it was a dream - he imagined he felt it. And if you'd been around like you said you'd be," he said angrily, "maybe it wouldn't have gotten so critical."

"Get serious Vegeta. We agreed that one of us would always be available. You were there with him. Are you trying to tell me you want me to sit in the house with you? Follow Goku around room to room? Maybe you want me to sit in the bedroom and monitor you during sex."

"Don't be an ass!"

Piccolo advanced angrily, towering over him. "Don't _you_ be an ass!"

Vegeta pushed him back, "I'm getting tired of your crap."

"So is this what we're going to do to help Goku? Stand here and fight with each other? He almost died last night. Shouldn't you be trying to find a way to keep it from happening again?"

"It shouldn't have happened the first time!" he shouted in frustration. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. "If we were mated - fully mated - he would have known it wasn't real. Kakarott would know I would not leave him like that."

"But you're not Goku hasn't been able to complete the bond," Piccolo said softly. "I'm sorry."

Vegeta felt the memory hit him full force, every instant of terror of losing Kakarott beating at him as a painful reminder. He could barely breathe, struggling with the grief and hopelessness washing over him, not even sure whose he was feeling. He'd chosen this - chosen this mate. He'd known it wouldn't always be easy, but he'd never imagined the challenges they would face. "We've been together for nearly a year," he said tiredly. "We should have been mated by now."

"Vegeta - almost half of that time Goku's been pregnant. It's changed him. These nightmares" Piccolo said thoughtfully, "I wonder if they are the symptom and not the real problem."

Vegeta scowled, "I'd say the fact my mate is now afraid to go to sleep _is_ a problem."

"Is this normal for a Saiyan? Have you experienced constant dreams - nightmares - like this?"

Vegeta stared at him. How dare the Namek ask such a question?

Piccolo must have understood his glare, because he glared right back. "Personally, I don't give a shit about your nightmares - you probably deserve them. I'm trying to help Goku. So if you're going to be a dick, think about who you are really hurting."

He growled in annoyance at the Namek's logic. "Kakarott's ability to feel people the way he does is special. Usually it only happens with a mate or a few special companions - and then it is a conscious effort." Which was a good thing in his case; what kind of pain would he have felt when his planet was destroyed if he had been attached to more of the inhabitants? It was hard enough knowing the moment his father had died - what if he had _felt_ the death of the planet the way Kakarott did?

"And now he feels nothing."

Vegeta shook his head.

"Does he have any other friends anymore? Anyone else to talk to?"

"He's made new ones, but he hasn't gone to see any of them for months. And I doubt he would tell them about this anyway. If he wants someone to talk to, he's got me. And," he scowled, "_you_."

Piccolo smirked at him, obviously knowing how much he hated having to admit that, before turning serious again, "Yamcha was the last survivor of his original circle of friends."

"What does it matter anyway?" Vegeta demanded. "He doesn't need all of those weaklings dragging him down."

"Goku's friendships don't drag him down - they make him stronger. We should have paid more attention to him - maybe then we would have noticed how withdrawn he's become. It can't be good for him; it's just not normal."

"I never thought of it until yesterday," Vegeta replied. He'd never had many friends, so he hadn't paid attention to their absence in Kakarott's life. "He's never said anything."

"He wouldn't, would he? He wouldn't want us to worry - he never wants anyone to worry about him." Piccolo crossed his arms and bowed his head, thinking. "When you consider how much people talk to him, he's surprisingly secretive about personal issues; it took years before he really opened up to me about anything major. Hell, in your own obnoxious way you're more forthcoming than he is - although your comments are usually accompanied by a fist." Vegeta made a wry smirk at the remark. Piccolo scowled back at him and continued, "Maybe he thinks we don't want him to have other friends - we do tend to demand most of his time."

"I don't force him to do anything," Vegeta snapped, stung by the implication he would try to control his mate like that.

"We don't force him - but we do expect him to be available all of the time - and disagree about sharing. For all we know we could be making things more difficult - he wants to get along with us both. And we don't agree on much - except wanting Goku to be happy and healthy. And we can't even agree on how to accomplish that."

"And you want to bring someone else into this? What are you? Bored? Lonely?" He glanced at the Namek and nearly grinned as Piccolo's expression clouded.

"You're going too far, Saiyan," he growled, drawing himself up.

Vegeta adjusted his stance slightly - he doubted the Namek would be foolish enough to attack him, but intended to be prepared. Piccolo must have noticed the change because he backed off, his posture becoming non-threatening.

"This is stupid, Vegeta. I'm not your enemy. I'm not trying to take Goku from you. I know you don't believe it but I want you to be completely mated, and soon. This half thing you two have - it isn't good for him. It isn't healthy."

"What do you mean?" he asked suspiciously.

Piccolo hesitated, and Vegeta wondered for a moment if he was going to ignore his question. "Look what it's doing to Goku. He isn't his usual cheerful, confident and outgoing self; he seems to be sinking into depression. And face it, Vegeta - he's getting weaker. It's getting more and more difficult to help him maintain his level of ki."

"So what am I supposed to do?" he asked, feeling a desperate chill he wasn't completely successful at hiding from the Namek. "I can't force him to complete the bond." He didn't know what else he could do to prove to Kakarott how he felt - that he was his chosen mate no matter what.

"We need to find out why he hasn't - and if there's something we can do to convince him to. He must know you love him, and I know he loves you, Vegeta. There's got to be some reason he's holding back."

He shrugged, not sure how to react to the Namek anymore. At least he acknowledged his bond with Kakarott. But the idea of his mate deliberately holding back, unwilling to be completely mated with him was upsetting. "He hasn't told me why."

Piccolo shook his head, "He hasn't told me either." He headed towards the cabin, "I'm going to go talk to him."

"Something's really wrong, isn't it?" Vegeta said morosely. "I can't help but think I'm going to lose him somehow." He was struck again by the painful memory of Kakarott limp in his arms, unmoving.

"No. Nothing's going to happen to you or Goku. Not this time. Never again. Not if I have anything to say about it," Piccolo said stubbornly.

Vegeta studied the Namek suspiciously, "What's that supposed to mean?" He was struck by the sudden sense of the Namek keeping something from him.

Piccolo sighed with resignation, "I'm tired of losing friends, Vegeta. What happened to Goku last night it never should have happened. I should have-" The Namek broke off and looked at him a moment before shaking his head. "I can't just stand by and watch this happen. I have to help both of you."

--

Goku tried to concentrate on the tv, but his eyes kept drooping shut. He slapped himself in the leg again and pulled his hair, trying to stay awake. He'd tried everything - loud music, exercise, watching television, even drinking coffee - in an increasingly vain attempt to stay awake.

It had been too real, Vegeta's grief and regret too intense to ignore. He hadn't even questioned how it was possible for him to feel the prince's emotions - he just _knew_ they were real. Now he couldn't get the vision of the prince killing himself out of his mind. Even though Vegeta managed to convince him they were still alive the scene kept playing over and over in agonizing clarity. Goku's surrender, his attempt to stay with the prince even in death hadn't been conscious - I hadn't even been a decision, but more of a reaction to a need to stay with Vegeta. He simply couldn't imagine life without him and didn't want to try.

"Goku?"

He blinked and looked around in confusion; he didn't know anyone else was in the room. When he located the source of the voice, he just stared, bemused. Piccolo was sitting in Vegeta's favorite chair, legs crossing and uncrossing as he tried to make himself comfortable.

"What?" Piccolo asked when Goku grinned at the sight.

"I don't think I've ever seen you in a chair before."

Piccolo frowned for a moment, crossing his legs again, before finally finding a comfortable position and settling. "Most of them are too damn small."

"That's Vegeta's chair."

"Good," he growled.

"Sometimes I sit there with him," Goku smirked, enjoying the distraction.

Piccolo froze, his eyes widening a moment, before he clamped down his reaction to his usual stony expression. "I don't want to know."

"I'm just saying"

"You've been around Vegeta too long," Piccolo complained.

Goku grinned at him a moment before getting up. "I need some more coffee. Do you want any?"

"You don't drink coffee," Piccolo said and Goku frowned to himself as he headed to the kitchen. He had upset Vegeta already, and knowing Piccolo he wasn't going to be able to avoid repeating what had happened and upset him as well. "Are you sure that it is okay for the baby?"

"The baby is fine," he said stubbornly, adding another spoon of sugar to the cup. He hid his shudder at the unintentional reminder that he had endangered the life of another of his children. Once it had gotten through his thick skull what he had done, he desperately insisted Vegeta carefully check the baby's ki, barely unable to contain his panic at what the prince might find. Learning the baby was fine only comforted him a little - what kind of terrible parent was he?

He sat back down, sipping the black liquid, scowling at the taste. He didn't like coffee, but he didn't want to sleep yet - maybe not ever.

"Have you tried adding milk?" Piccolo asked when he shivered at the bitter taste.

"No. Do you think that will help?" Goku asked.

Piccolo sighed and unfolded himself from the chair. "Give me that," he said, taking the cup and tasting it. He looked disgusted. "This is like drinking grounds. Do you know how to make coffee? Really?"

Goku shook his head, watching his friend moving around in the kitchen. "No. Chichi didn't drink it and the boys always made their own." Piccolo dumped out the remains of the pot and started a new one. "Where did you learn how--?"

Piccolo frowned slightly, but didn't answer his question, instead continuing with his preparations. "You put too much ground in here. Look. This much water; this much coffee."

Goku nodded, watching silently as Piccolo went through the cabinets while the coffee brewed, selecting a clean cup, adding some milk and sugar to it, and finally pouring the hot liquid into the cup. Piccolo handed it to him and Goku looked up at him, surprised. "You've done this before?"

"No," Piccolo said softly, curling back into the chair. "I watched Gohan."

He took a tentative sip. "This is much better."

"That won't keep you up for long - caffeine can't perform miracles."

Goku frowned, ignoring the truth of his statement. He was only able to stay awake now because he was doing something. As soon as he stopped he was sure he'd fall asleep - and the nightmares would start again.

Piccolo waited quietly as he drank half of the cup before asking the question Goku knew was coming. "What happened?"

"I'm sure he told you," Goku said, voice flat. "I dreamed. Vegeta died. I died. He brought me back. I woke up."

"That succinctness is worthy of the runt prince," Piccolo said, his grin exposing fangs.

"Are you two going to fight over me forever?" Goku asked, annoyed at the ongoing, useless rivalry. "Can't you get along? Try to be friends?"

Piccolo bowed his head, sighing heavily. "Much as it pains me to admit it, I do consider him my friend. It might not be returned - it's hard to tell with Vegeta - but I don't want to see anything happen to him. Turns out the little bastard has grown on me without my realizing it."

"Good. I hate to see you two fighting all of the time."

"I can't guarantee we'll stop fighting." Piccolo grinned at him, "I kind of enjoy it."

Goku shrugged and went back to his coffee. Definitely better.

"Are you going to keep changing the subject and avoiding my question? I'd like to know so I can make plans for the rest of the day."

"I told you."

Piccolo shook his head, "You summarized - if you can call it that."

Goku barely resisted the urge to curl up and hide under a blanket. It was bad enough going through it once - why did they want him to relive it?

"Isn't that enough?" he muttered. "I saw him, alright? Felt him. He was sad and lonely Vegeta was crying. He hardly ever cries. And it was my fault. I had done something terrible. So terrible he couldn't go on. " He kept picturing it, his prince surrounded by trees in what should have been a calm and peaceful place. The disparity just made Vegeta's profound grief even worse, overwhelming Goku. Once he started talking he found it hard to stop and could only listen to himself babble. "He killed himself. I watched him, begged him to stop, but he wouldn't listen to me. He put his hand over his heart and used his ki to blow a hole through it."

"But you couldn't have-" Piccolo began, disbelieving.

"Are you saying I imagined it?" Goku said angrily. "That it wasn't real? What if it is? What if it's something that's going to happen?" He hung his head. "How could I hurt him that much? What did I do wrong?" He tilted his head to look up at Piccolo, trying to make him understand all of his confused thoughts, hoping maybe someone else could make sense of them. "Maybe it's a warning. Maybe I'm going to lose him too. What will I do? I can't do that again. I don't want to feel someone else die."

"Goku - you haven't done anything wrong. That wasn't _your_ Vegeta. He's fine and outside, worried about you. You shouldn't blame yourself; what happened to him wasn't your fault."

"I don't know why I was surprised. I should have expected it. Just one more person that I love dies and I can't do anything but stand there when it happens. All these great powers, and what good are they? They're useless. Completely useless. They all die - everyone I care about - and every time they do I feel another part of me ripped away. I feel like I'm shrinking. They keep dying and I'm vanishing. Fading away." Goku felt the tears rolling down his cheeks, but didn't know how to stop them. "I can't keep doing this. Everyone I get close to dies."

"Goku"

"Sometimes I feel like I attract death Maybe I should have stayed dead after all. In Otherworld you can't feel when people die. It was so much easier there."

"But much lonelier," Piccolo said softly.

"I didn't feel lonely very often. I was too busy training."

"Maybe you were trying to avoid thinking about it."

"I don't know"

"Maybe these nightmares are your brain trying to tell you something."

"What?" he said bitterly. "How many people I've lost?"

"I was thinking more along the lines of needing friends to fill those holes that have been left behind."

"So I can feel them die too? You don't know what it's like, Piccolo. You don't know what it's like to feel someone as a constant presence - a part of you - and then it vanishes."

"Yes I do."

Goku looked up, surprised to hear the pain in his friend's voice.

"Gohan got in my head somehow. More than even Kami or Nail. I always knew what he was feeling - sometimes even thinking. I knew when he was happy or afraid I knew he was dying - maybe even before you did. I understand better than you think, Goku."

Goku frowned, reminded of one more person's death he felt responsible for. He picked up the pile of bills he'd paid while trying to keep busy and absently shuffled through them, trying to compose himself with little success.

"I don't know what to do," he finally said. "I don't understand what's wrong with me - but I can't help but think it's my fault somehow."

"I doubt that."

Goku grimaced, annoyed at himself. "Vegeta thinks it wouldn't have happened if we were mated already."

"Why aren't you?"

"I _can't_!" Goku exclaimed, frustrated. "Don't you think I've tried?"

"Have you?"

Goku stared at him in disbelief. "You _do_ think it's my fault."

"No I don't - at least not deliberately. But I do think you are letting yourself be ruled by fear - and you are afraid of the wrong thing."

"That's not fair," he protested.

Piccolo sighed. "Son, you have to look inside - figure out what it is that is holding you back and do something about it. I can't tell you what to dobut I don't want you to make the same mistake I did."

Goku looked at him curiously; he couldn't imagine what mistake Piccolo could have made. He was the most thoughtful person he knew - his friend didn't screw up the way he did all the time.

"I would have done anything for Gohan. I did. Everything but have the courage to tell him how much he meant to me. There was always some reason or some fear - real or imagined - that kept me silent. I don't know - maybe I thought there would be plenty of timebut there wasn't. He died and it was too late."

"I didn't--"

"Don't make the same mistake I did, Goku. Figure out what it is that scares you more - being with Vegeta or being without him. But choose. This indecision of yours is cruel to everyone - including yourself."

"I love him."

Piccolo stared at him and he could feel the intensity of dark eyes piercing him. "So you say. But do you love him enough? Enough to commit to him completely? Enough to risk losing him? Enough to stop focusing on your eventual deaths and enjoy whatever time you have without fear? Everyone dies, Goku. You can't just shut down and stop living because you've lost people you care about. They wouldn't want you to do that."

"It's just so hard It's so confusing sometimes."

"I know Son - and while Vegeta and I want to fix everything and make it easy for you, we can't; you're the only one who can resolve that. But you have to. You have to make up your mind what you are really afraid of and what you are willing to risk."

Goku sat silently, staring down at his growing belly, absently riffling through the stack of checks he held. He was intensely aware of the silence and Piccolo's eyes on him. "Gohan must have known," he whispered, glancing up at his friend.

Piccolo frowned. "I'll never know, will I?"

Goku rubbed his belly, feeling his child's movement echoing his distress. "I don't know what to do anymore. That nightmare really scared me. It felt so real."

"I know."

"Tell me what to do. Please," he pleaded. Everything, including flashes of Vegeta's death, just kept whirring around in his head and he couldn't seem to think clearly anymore.

"I can't tell you what to do. You're an adult, completely capable of making decisions yourself."

Goku sighed. Even if that was true, it wasn't easy. "Will you--? Will you at least tell me what you think?"

"What I think You already know what _I_ think, but if you need me to repeat it I'll tell you one more time. After that, you're on your own." Piccolo frowned and bowed his head. "I think Vegeta and I are making things difficult for you we keep you busy and don't give you enough time to yourself. I know you Goku - you don't like to refuse anyone. Maybe you need to learn to be more selfish sometimes - take some time by yourself where you don't have to worry about anyone else."

Goku shrugged and rubbed his belly, "Yeah I you're probably right.. But with the way I've been lately I don't think I should spend too much time away from someone who can help me."

"True," Piccolo scowled. "The list is kind of short. The only other person I can think of is Dende."

They sat silently, Piccolo shifting uncomfortably in the chair. Goku considered what his friend had said; trying without success to decide if he was right - yet one more thing he couldn't seem to get straight in his head.

"I need a break," Goku said, coming to a decision. He pushed himself out of his seat and went into the bedroom grabbing some clothes and other items and throwing them into a capsule. A few minutes later he came back to the living room where Piccolo was standing, apparently having given up his battle with the chair.

"Okay, I'm all set," Goku said. "I have to talk to Vegeta first, though."

"About what?" Piccolo demanded, following him out the door.

Goku shrugged, "What I'm doing."

"And what's that?"

Goku didn't answer, heading over to where Vegeta was standing in the shade of a tree.

"Goku? Goku!" Piccolo said, annoyed. "Damn it! Answer me."

Vegeta looked at him and he felt bad for how tired and sad the prince looked. He knew it was his fault and he had to fix it.

"Vegeta," he said without preamble, afraid of losing his nerve. "I'm leaving."

TBC 


	12. Considerations

**Patience _By Pixelgoddess_**

Summary - Vegeta has had his eye on Goku for years, but isn't willing to make the first move. Will either of them bend?

This started out life as a series of one-shots, with required sentences - first 'Why did you stop?', then 'I've been waiting a long time for this' and 'You wouldn't dare.' Now look what has happened - it's taken on a life of its own.

Pairings - oh please - I almost never write anything _but_ Goku and Vegeta. What do you think? Warnings - This is **me** you are talking about - expect smut and angst, pretty much in equal measure. With enough sap to thin it out. Goku/Vegeta. Sex. Kissing. Smut. Yaoi. (Does everyone know what that means?) And now that the cat is out of the bag - mpreg. A disclaimer too? sighs Would I worry about paying my bills if I owned them? Hell, if I owned them, there would have been more naked Saiyans, more sex, Goku would have saved Vegeta, and the prince would have been the one to pound the lizard to a pulp.

**Chapter 12 - Considerations**

Vegeta leaned against a tree, absently pulling the bark off a broken branch, doing his best not to think about last night's events. He realized he wasn't succeeding though, when he snapped the wood in half in frustration.

He still didn't know what he was doing wrong and Kakarott couldn't or wouldn't tell him what to do to make things right. The fact that he had resorted to asking the Namek for help was a good sign of how desperate he'd become. The conviction he would lose his mate was becoming stronger every day and last night seemed to confirm it.

He looked up when he heard the cabin door open, watching as his mate headed towards him. Apparently Kakarott had managed to upset his friend as well, because the Namek was following behind, calling out, "Goku? Goku! Damn it! Answer me."

Kakarott ignored Piccolo, heading his way. Vegeta couldn't help but notice how tired his mate looked with dark circles under his eyes. Vegeta had witnessed how he'd struggled to remain awake, but Kakarott's body would soon insist on rest whether he wanted to or not.

"Vegeta," Kakarott said quickly, nearly blurting the words out, "I'm leaving."

"What?" Vegeta growled in denial, echoing the Namek's confused mumble. How could this have happened?

"I--" Kakarott began.

This wasn't acceptable - he'd put so much into making this relationship work; he couldn't lose his mate now, "You _can't_ leave!" Vegeta exclaimed, looking at his mate wide-eyed before turning to glare at Piccolo. "What the hell did you do? I thought you were going to help. What did you say to him?" he demanded angrily. If the Namek thought he could get away with this unscathed

"Vegeta - Piccolo didn't do anything," waving a hand in denial, drawing his attention back, temporarily saving the Namek.

"Then why are you leaving me?" he insisted. How could this be happening?

Kakarott flushed guiltily. "Oh nono, not like that. I'm taking a break, that's all. It's just for a little while and then. I'll be back," he said, brushing the tips of his fingers against Vegeta's cheek.

"You said you were leaving," he replied softly, embarrassed to hear his voice crack on the word.

"I didn't mean forever," Kakarott said gently, moving closer until their bodies were touching, hands resting lightly on Vegeta's shoulders.

"How long?" he asked quietly, putting his hands on his mate's waist, afraid to let himself feel relieved.

"A few days, that's all. I just need to be alone."

"But you need me," Vegeta said, struggling to hide the desperate tone in his voice. "What if something happens? Who will take care of you?"

Kakarott smiled. "I'll go to the Lookout."

"Will _he_ be there?" he demanded, indicating the silent Namek currently doing his best to be invisible.

"No. Just Dende; he can take care of me if something happens. You _do_ trust **him**, right?"

Vegeta sighed, recognizing his mate's determination but not understanding it. He could feel Kakarott's affection, so why was he finding everything so difficult? "I still don't understand why you are doing this."

"I just need some time to think to figure out some things. I'll be back, I promise."

"I'll take you" he began. Kakarott's ki wouldn't be enough to get there on his own.

"No - I'd rather go alone. I can IT if you'll give me some of your ki."

Vegeta gave in and pulled his mate closer, the palm of his hand over his tailspot. Kakarott sighed and held him tightly, arms wrapped around his shoulders. He stood like that for long minutes, enjoying the feel of his mate's body against his until the baby kicked. He started at the tiny vibration against his body, apparently a signal that Kakarott had enough ki for his journey.

"You're sure about this?"

"It will be okay, Vegeta. Just a few days, I promise."

With that, Kakarott bent to kiss him, and Vegeta couldn't make himself stop wondering if his mate was really kissing him goodbye.

"If you're not back in five days I'm coming to get you," he growled. "I'll carry you back if I have to."

Kakarott grinned. "I'm counting on it."

--

Goku arrived at the Lookout with a sigh of relief. With how jumbled his thoughts were it was difficult to concentrate on his location. He didn't dare tell that to Vegeta, though - with how protective he'd become he'd have insisted on carrying Goku the entire way. He didn't want that - he already felt bad enough about everything he was putting Vegeta through; it just wasn't right to add that worry to his already growing list.

"Goku?" Dende asked, passing through an archway, "What brings you here? Where's Vegeta?"

"He's home. I came alone."

"I think you should sit down," Dende said, guiding him to a convenient bench. "You don't look very good. I'm surprised Vegeta let you out of his sight."

"He didn't want to," he admitted, gratefully lowering himself down to the seat.

"Hmmm," Dende said thoughtfully, passing his hands over Goku, examining him. "Just what have you been doing to get so out of balance?"

Goku sighed and told him the whole story, too tired to think about censoring it to protect the tiny scraps of dignity he might have left. The nightmares had become too much; he was a wreck and he knew it.

"Of course you can stay here as long as you'd like. It's nice to have visitors - I don't get many."

Goku looked at Dende, remembering the youngster who had come here so long ago. Now he was a tall, slim adult with a peaceful contentment about him that Piccolo could never hope to achieve even with a lifetime of meditation. Earth had desperately needed a new Guardian then, but had it been fair to take him so far from his home and family?

"Do you ever regret it? Becoming Guardian, I mean."

Dende smiled, not thrown by the abrupt change in topic, "Not at all. I think I was very lucky to have met you when I did."

"But don't you get lonely? What about being with your family or finding someone to love?"

"Oh, that's not a problem; Nameks don't fall in love."

"But Piccolo-" His friend had said he loved him loved Gohan. How could he be wrong?

Dende looked thoughtful for a moment before replying. "Piccolo is unique. Due to the unusual circumstances of his birth, he has no brothers and no sire to share with. I doubt he even knew of our existence before coming to the homeworld - he cannot hear us. Fusing with Nail and discovering the existence of kin he cannot understand must have been difficult, and the fading of Nail's personality over time would not have made it any easier."

"I don't understand."

"Nameks can 'hear' each other - feel each other any time we choose, which is why I don't get lonely. To Piccolo we are strangers speaking a language he cannot understand." Dende smiled gently, "Perhaps I shouldn't be telling you this, but I think you need to understand why he is so protective.

"You, Gohan even Vegeta, although he'd be loath to admit it, are his family. Somehow, at some level, he's bonded with all of you, and as a result has learned to love - something no other Namek has done. The possibility of losing either of you scares him more than he is willing to admit."

"He's never said any of this."

"I didn't think he would. And he'll probably be angry at me for telling you."

"So why did you?" At least it made it easier to empathize with his friend - being different from everyone else was difficult. But Piccolo was justPiccolo. He couldn't imagine him without his quiet affection.

Dende sighed sadly, "Maybe I shouldn't have. But things have happened recently that have had a profound effect on him which he has found more painful than he expected. When he chooses to tell you, don't judge him too harshly."

"Like what?"

Dende shook his head, "It's better not to pry; he will tell you when he is ready. Now let's see what can be done to help you."

"I don't think there's anything you can do," Goku said miserably, feeling a wave of exhaustion sweeping over him. "I wish I could hear Vegeta the way you can hear your brothers."

"You still can't?" Dende asked, concerned.

Goku shook his head.

"That's not typical. Most tasans would lose the connection with their mate for a month or two as their bodies adjusted, but then it would come back. Granted, most didn't have your ability to feel others besides their mates and family, but I still would have expected you to be back to normal for that."

Goku shrugged sadly, "Nope, nothing."

"Hmmm Can I try something? I want to touch your mind and see if I can tell what's wrong."

"Okay." He'd do pretty much anything to get back to normal; it felt like there was a huge echoing hole in his head right now.

"I won't pry - it's just surface." Dende brushed cool fingertips over his head and Goku closed his eyes, nearly shivering at the gentle touch. He could feel the healing energy flowing over his skin. He heard Dende take a deep breath and felt some kind of mental push. Goku gasped in surprise.

"Wha--? Who was that?" he asked opening his eyes in shock. He had felt-

"Those were my brothers on New Namek. Your being able to hear them is a good sign."

"Really?" Goku asked, not wanting to get his hopes up. He was miserable being so alone in his head, but he didn't want to count on it and then have everything fall apart. "You can feel them all the time?" he said, feeling a twinge of jealousy. For a moment they were there and he felt better. Dende removed his hand and they were gone.

Dende shrugged, "Anytime I want to." He looked thoughtful for a moment, "But if you can hear them- I have an idea that might work. You plan to be here for a few days, so maybe we could try something. Your dreams--"

"I don't want-"

"Not nightmares. No one dying."

"I don't think I can go through that again," he whispered, hanging his head, ashamed at admitting how much they scared him.

"You won't while you are here. I have a special method of guiding them. It can only be used a few times, but maybe that will be enough." Dende grinned, "And it's kind of against the rules, but for you, it's worth it."

"I don't want you to get in trouble," Goku said hesitantly.

"Don't worry about it. A little grumpy shouting is the worst that could happen and I could use the excitement."

"If you're sureand you think it will help."

"I think it will. You might find the dreams a little odd - different from what you usually experience, but nothing bad."

--

"Damn it," Vegeta growled at the little genie, "Get out of the way. I want to see my mate." He wasn't sure why he didn't seem to be able to make himself move him bodily; he suspected the little man was protected by some kind of magic.

"I am sorry, but Mister Goku has requested he not be disturbed by anyone," Mr. Popo said, holding up his hands to pacify him - which made him even more annoyed.

"I want to hear that from him." The past three days had been extremely difficult for him; whatever Kakarott was doing was painfully affecting their link. He was aware of him, but everything was fuzzy and distorted making his head throb. He hated being away from him for so long and wondered sometimes if he'd go mad before Kakarott returned. Couldn't he see him even for a few minutes?

"Vegeta," Dende said approaching them, "Didn't you promise Goku five days? Although I don't think it's fair of you to expect him to be able to resolve his issues in such a short time."

"I don't give a flying fuck what you think is fair!" Vegeta said angrily. "Let me see my mate!"

"Calm down."

Vegeta spun around to glare at Piccolo; he should have known he would be here. "You've got a hell of a lot of nerve; I know this is happening because of you."

"Are you really that insecure?" Piccolo asked, studying him. "Do you sincerely doubt his love for you?"

"No," Vegeta replied, taken aback at the deceptively simple question. "I just-" He fell silent, refusing to acknowledge Piccolo's dismissal of Dende and Popo. "I'm worried about him," he said once they were gone. "What if he has another nightmare? How am I supposed to protect him like this?"

"Vegeta, I'm glad you care so much about Goku and want to protect him, but he's safe where he is. Dende is helping him - he's given him a potion that will prevent him from having nightmares for a few days. It's only short-term, but at least he's getting a reprieve."

"Drugs?!" Vegeta asked, alarmed.

"Dende would never do anything to hurt Goku or the baby - you know that."

He did trust the Guardian, but just the thought Kakarott would resort to such measures was disturbing. "Have you seen Kakarott?"

"Of course not. Why would he see me if he won't see you?"

Vegeta felt somewhat relieved, but not completely comforted. "What if he's changed his mind? What if he won't come back home?" He wasn't sure why he was even sharing these doubts with the Namek.

"He'll be back with you. Give him time."

"How much time? Just how long am I supposed to give him?"

The Namek shrugged. "I don't know. I hope it isn't too much longer, though."

"What if he never does? What if he's left me forever?" Vegeta said softly, surprised at himself for even voicing these doubts.

"You don't really believe that's possible, do you? Goku will return to you - he _has_ to. It's too important."

"And if he chooses you?" Vegeta asked bitterly. "Then what?"

"That's not going to happen," Piccolo snapped. "I don't love him - not like that. I thought I did, but I was wrong. Now? I want you two to be together. It would make you both happy."

"After all the crap you put me through, now you say you don't want Kakarott? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

The Namek scowled, "I don't expect you to understand, but try. I love Goku, but not like you do I don't think I ever have. I just missed Gohan so much and Goku was there and"

"Gohan? Did you--?" Vegeta asked curiously. He wanted to believe the Namek, but this change of heart was not something he was used to.

"I wanted" Piccolo made a resigned shrug. "Nothing ever happened. I never even told him how I felt. I don't want Goku to make the same mistake."

"He says he loves me-" It was Kakarott's word, but he had noticed his mate had become careful in its use.

"But you don't believe it. Even though you claim he is your mate you doubt him."

"Of course I believe it."

"And that's why you are always afraid I could take him away from you," Piccolo said sarcastically.

Vegeta scowled; the Namek had the unsettling ability to get to the core of his doubts.

"Damn it, Vegeta!" Piccolo said angrily. "Get this through your thick skull. He loves you. You belong together. Just because he is having difficulty completing this mating bond with you doesn't mean he is going to leave you for me or anyone else."

He opened his mouth to protest, annoyed at the Namek for speaking to him that way, but before he could say anything Piccolo held up his hand.

"Listen to me," Piccolo said, "I'm only going to say this once - and I shouldn't be telling you this at all but you're so damn pig-headed you have to have it spelled out for you. You two _have_ to be together, if only for Goku's health and safety. He needs you. I know I interfered before, but I realize now I was wrong. He wants you to be his mate - just give him some time to get his head straightened out."

"Kakarott's health and safety?" he asked suspiciously, catching Piccolo's odd phrasing. "What do you know Namek? What aren't you telling me?"

Piccolo shook his head. "I can't, Vegeta. Don't ask me."

Vegeta growled - he'd had enough of this crap. He refused to allow this interference in his relationship with Kakarott to continue. He grabbed Piccolo's throat, and powering up to level two, slammed him back against the wall. "I'm not asking - I'm demanding. Tell me what the fuck is going on."

"And if I don't? What are you going to do, kill me? How are you going to explain that to Goku?" he said, trying without success to pull Vegeta's hand away from his throat.

"I'll think of something," he snarled, drawing ki into his hand. "Don't try my patience. Tell me now or die."

The Namek didn't answer right away, apparently weighing the odds of Vegeta actually killing him as threatened. Fortunately he realized Vegeta wasn't bluffing, saving him the need of explaining his death to Kakarott.

"Tasans should be mated, alright?" Piccolo snapped.

He began to squeeze, "We've known that."

"There's more to it," the Namek stopped fighting to get free and stared at him sadly before closing his eyes in resignation. "Release me, Vegeta I'll tell you."

He hesitated for a moment before opening his hand. Piccolo slumped back against the wall, rubbing his neck.

"You're not going to like it."

"I already don't like it. Now talk," he commanded.

"We didn't know they _had_ to be mated in order to survive the pregnancy. He's going to die, Vegeta. If he doesn't mate with you he's going to die and you probably won't survive losing him."

Vegeta felt a chill rush through him. Somehow he knew the Namek was right. During those moments he struggled to pull Kakarott back from death he had felt the emptiness urging him to follow. And unless the gods had changed their minds - highly unlikely - they'd be separated forever. He'd lose everything.

"How long have you known this?"

"Not long only a few days."

"And exactly when were you planning on telling us?" he asked angrily. The Namek didn't answer, refusing to meet his eyes. "You weren't, were you? What were you going to do? Wait until it was too late? Sweep in like some fucking hero? What?"

"_No!_ Damn it Vegeta, I would never do something like that. I had a good reason for not telling you. I hoped he'd make you his mate because that's what he really wanted, not because he was in danger of dying if he didn't. For all we know it would make things even more difficult for Goku than they already are."

"How long does he have?" Vegeta ground out between gritted teeth. He could hardly contain his anger at the Namek even though he knew in some way the pointy-eared bastard was right. He felt trapped in a nightmare, barely able to believe the simple act of kissing Kakarott had escalated to this.

"I don't know... My" the Namek hesitated, apparently trying to choose his words carefully. "My source said the risk increases in the third quarter, but didn't have an exact time."

Vegeta stared at him, struggling to process this information. The idea he could lose Kakarott forever "The second quarter is almost over," he stated, trying to disguise his alarm.

"I know," Piccolo said, his voice so soft Vegeta had to strain to hear.

"How does it happen?" There had to be a way to save Kakarott - there had to.

"Without a mate, the strain on his ki is too much. It will drop too low for him to recover from."

"Then there's no problem. I can give him energy - as much as he needs," he said with some relief. The Namek was making a big deal over nothing. Ki? As a Super Saiyan he had a nearly endless supply of energy; certainly more than Kakarott would ever need during his pregnancy.

"It's not the same. A mated pair shares energy differently. If Goku doesn't make you his mate, even as a Super Saiyan you can't give him what he needs to survive."

"What's different?"

"I don't know," Piccolo said, obviously frustrated. "He couldn't tell me."

"I could lose Kakarott and the baby?"

"If something happens to him, the only chance of saving the baby is having Goku operated on to put the baby in an incubator."

"Like the Tuffles did?" he asked in disbelief. He could never sink to their level.

"If you don't you could lose the child as well."

"Damn it!" he roared, putting his fist through a wall in angry frustration. "I knew I should have made him get rid of it. I never should have allowed this to continue."

"Vegeta," and he was surprised to feel the Namek's hand resting lightly on his arm. "You know Goku never would have agreed to that. If you had insisted on him having an abortion he would have refused and you would have lost him months ago. Even through all the confusion, Goku has wanted this baby."

"If I had to choose-" Vegeta began.

"I know - you'd rather have Goku."

Vegeta nodded - he'd never tell Kakarott because he knew his mate would never agree, but it was the truth.

"The way you act sometimes," Vegeta said bitterly, "it's hard to believe you are really his friend."

Piccolo took a deep breath before speaking. "He _is_ my friend Vegeta - and believe it or not, so are you. I admit I've made some mistakes through all of this, but I've always had good intentions. I want the best for you and Goku; I don't want to lose either one of you. You're more important to me than you could ever begin to understand."

"You've been an asshole. Everyone always gave you a chance to prove yourself. Would it have killed you to do the same thing for me?"

"I should have but I was always looking out for Goku."

"And you never stopped to think maybe I was too?"

"I didn't then - I do now."

"Yeah now now that it might be too late."

"It's not too late. My source said"

"Who is your so-called source anyway? I want to talk to him."

Piccolo shook his head. "You can't."

"The hell I can't. I want more information. He has to know more."

Vegeta was surprised to see the Namek look regretful.

"Believe me, Vegeta I _really_ wish you could. It just isn't possible."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because he's dead, alright?!" Piccolo shouted. "He couldn't take being alone and killed himself! Satisfied?"

Vegeta wasn't sure how to react to this outburst; the Namek was rarely this emotional.

"He was a friend?" he finally asked.

Piccolo stared at him for a long awkward moment and Vegeta swore he could feel his eyes piercing him. "Yes. One of the best - although I didn't realize how much until it was too late."

"Did he tell you what I could do to save Kakarott?"

The Namek sighed and shook his head. "No."

"Then what the fuck am I supposed to do? I can't just sit by and let my mate die. I have to do _something_!"

"I don't know what to tell you. Maybe he just needs something to push him into completing the bond. How about some romantic gesture? Flowers or something"

"You're joking, right? Are you seriously suggesting I give _flowers_ to a Saiyan?" he asked disbelievingly. If this were different circumstances he would have laughed at the suggestion. Why would the Namek even think of doing something 'romantic'?

"I don't know. I'm out of my depth here," Piccolo said, annoyed. "What would convince him?"

"Sure as hell not flowers," he said sarcastically. "It's ridiculous. Saiyans do not give _flowers_ to their mates. A dinosaur carcass would be more practical."

"Then what the hell do they do, Vegeta? Quit fighting me on this. Maybe it's a stupid idea, but I'm trying to help."

"I'll think of something," he said grudgingly. "I won't give up Kakarott without a fight."

"Good. Goku needs you, Vegeta. He'll make you his mate. And I'll do anything to make it happen - even lie to him if necessary."

"You do realize I find that hard to believe," Vegeta said skeptically.

"I know, but it's true. I don't want either one of you to dieI can't go through that again. Annoying as you are, you're my friend, Vegeta."

--

Goku wandered down the village street, trying to decide what to do now. He had been aware of Vegeta outside the door at the Lookout, and by the raised voices knew he was very upset. The prince just didn't understand he wasn't ready to face him yet - he felt like such a failure. Even Vegeta - admittedly not the most sensitive of people - had managed to bond with him. So what was wrong with him that he couldn't complete something so apparently simple?

He'd used up four of his five promised days at the Lookout, but still didn't feel any closer to resolving his problem. Heck, he wasn't even sure what the problem actually was. At least Dende had been able to provide him with a reprieve from the nightmares. He wasn't quite sure what the healer had done, but his dreams had been very different. He could see himself sleeping nearby, and his sleeping self didn't seem to be disturbed by the content of his dreams.

Only a few of his friends and family appeared, but instead of seeming accusing they were friendly and chatty - it was more like catching up on old times. Rather than living and dying before his eyes, they appeared with halos glowing over their heads. Somehow that seemed to put him at ease - he didn't have to worry about feeling them die again.

He'd had a long conversation with Krillin. He felt a huge relief that his friend had been glad to see him and not at all angry. It made him feel better to know the anger Krillin felt at his death was not directed towards him, but towards the terrorists' and their bombs.

And speaking to Gohan again He'd actually cried when he saw his son standing in front of him strong and healthy. So many of his nightmares had been of him looking sick and frail, angry at Goku and his Saiyan blood for being the cause of his early death. He'd tried to apologize - he wanted Gohan to understand he knew it was his fault and he would have done anything to have prevented his dying, but Gohan just waved it away with a smile.

"It wasn't your fault, Dad. I wouldn't have changed a thing."

"But I-"

"I lived a great life. Had wonderful adventures. Got to meet interesting people. Traveled to other planets. Met gods. Heck, I got to be a superhero _and_ a doctor. How many people get to say that?"

"I thought you were mad at me," he said, embarrassed at the confession.

"Dad those are dreams. They aren't real. You didn't do anything wrong and should stop blaming yourself. Man," Gohan chuckled, hugging him tightly, "when did you get to be such a worrywart?"

Goku hugged him back just as tightly. Knowing Gohan didn't blame him, if only in dreams, took a huge weight off his mind. He didn't know what he could have done to save his sons, but if there had been something he would have done it, regardless of the cost.

They spent hours talking, catching his son up with the changes in his life. Gohan didn't even seem surprised to learn about him being with Vegeta. Gohan took that well - apparently he had expected it to happen eventually. The pregnancy - which he hadn't told Krillin about - gave his son pause. Goku had been worried about how he'd take it, but after a few minutes, Gohan crossed over to his sleeping body, examining him, his medical interest piqued.

"Strong little thing. You and Vegeta are going to have your hands full keeping up."

Goku grinned. "It's all Vegeta can do to keep up with the energy demand. The way the baby drains my ki I wouldn't be surprised if I give birth to a Super Saiyan."

Gohan smiled back, "I'm glad he's taking such good care of you. Buthow do you deliver the baby?"

"Ummm I have to be cut open," he told him, still feeling queasy at the thought.

"Poor Dad," Gohan said sympathetically. "Who's your doctor?"

Goku shrugged, "I don't have one - just Dende."

"Really? I'll have to talk to him."

They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, Goku glad to know this was not going to warp into a nightmare.

"So is Vegeta a good lover?" Gohan asked with a smirk.

"_Gohan!_" he said, shocked his son would even ask.

"Just teasing - please don't answer. I used to have a crush on Vegetadidn't last, but it was fun imagining."

"I didn't know that."

"Neither did he, I hope. He wasn't a nice guy then - I doubt he'd have let me hear the end of it."

"Yeah, probably. What about Piccolo?" he asked, curious how Gohan felt about him.

"What about Piccolo?"

"Did you have a crush on him too?"

Gohan grinned before shrugging, "A bit more than a crush, but since he's a Namek that wasn't going to go anywhere."

"Maybe it could havehe's in love with you."

"Really? I didn't know."

Goku shrugged, wishing he hadn't said anything. What was the point when nothing could be done to get them together now? "Sorry."

"Nah, don't worry about it. Everything always works out in the end."

"How can it work out? You're dead."

"Yeah, but Piccolo's not," Gohan smirked.

Goku shook his head, bemused. Gohan had gotten his optimism from him. If his son believed there was hope, then there was hope.

He finally felt some things had gotten resolved even if he didn't understand how; he had some hope they wouldn't haunt him anymore. Maybe he was finally learning to forgive himself and it was coming out in his dreams. He had to admit he felt some relief at the change - it felt good to have some closure even if it was only in his head.

He knew Piccolo was right; he had to get his head unscrambled and figure out what was wrong with him. He loved Vegeta and wanted him to be his mate; to know how the prince felt was something he had wanted since the moment they first stared each other down on the desert plateaus where they first fought. He had tried to reach out to Vegeta over the years, but he could tell the prince blocked him somehow. It hurt then to realize the prince wasn't interested in even friendship - and now that he was, Goku couldn't hear him. It hardly seemed fair.

He'd finally decided he needed a change of scenery - the Lookout was nice and quiet, but maybe he didn't need quiet. It was almost like he was trying to think too hard. He felt a craving for some fresh fruits and vegetables, so he decided to stop at the village market before going back home.

He couldn't seem to forget the look on Vegeta's face when he told him he was going away. Was he really afraid Goku would leave him? His promise to return in a few days seemed to mollify him but since Vegeta had returned to the Lookout several times over the past few days he wondered if the prince really believed him.

He sighed - for such a proud, confident good-looking man, Vegeta could be strangely insecure at times.

"Goku?"

He stopped and turned towards the source of the voice, smiling when he recognized the village Baba. "Granny Esme, how are you?"

She chuckled, "I'm just fine. But" she peered at him, adjusting her glasses, "You look plumb tuckered out."

He shrugged, "A little. I've been feeling a little run down lately." Dende had helped, but being away from Vegeta seemed to drag him down even if he was getting more sleep.

"I can see that," she said, prodding him to move in the direction of her market stall. "Sit down," she said, beckoning to a conveniently placed barrel. Granny Esme tossed him an apple which he caught with a nod of thanks. "Talk to me - you haven't come down from that mountain of yours in a coon's age."

"YeahI'm sorry. I've been busy and lost track of time."

She smirked and poked him in the chest, "Playing with that hunky boyfriend of yours, I wager."

Goku instinctively covered his belly with his arm at her touch before laughing apologetically, "Yeah, something like that."

"So what brings you down? And where is he?"

"Vegeta's home. I've been away for a couple of days, but I thought I'd pick up some fresh food before I go back. Maybe I'll make him something special to make up for leaving him alone for so long."

"He was here yesterday buying all kinds of vittles. Poor youngster seemed rather bewildered by it all, so I had two of the young-uns take the list and do the shopping for him. I think he was relieved not to have to do it himself."

"Vegeta shopped for food?" Goku was surprised. Just what had the prince been doing with himself while he was gone? Vegeta always seemed content enough with the regular grocery deliveries; Goku was the one who bought special ingredients for his recipes. The prince only made a few things - Goku had been trying to teach him, but Vegeta just didn't seem to be able to relax in the kitchen.

"Sure did. And now you are did you two have a fight?" She peered at him suspiciously. "When you have a fight you shouldn't run away - you should pick at it until it is solved. And then some hearty sex to make sure you've fixed it good and proper. A roll in the hay is always good for what ails you. I've been married enough times to know that for sure and for certain."

Goku blushed. "We didn't fight - I just needed some time alone to think about things."

"Are you sure you should be alone in your condition?"

"Condition?" Goku asked, confused.

"Well you're pregnant, aren't you? The way you're sitting, the hand on your belly like that. You're bigger around the middle and I know you ain't the type to sit around and let yourself go. I've seen it before; you bear all the signs. I'll wager you're with child."

Goku felt a surge of panic; how had she figured it out? Was it that obvious? "How did-?"

"I've never known a pregnant man before," she continued, "But if anyone could perform that miracle, it would be you."

"I uh yeah," he mumbled, realizing this was yet another thing he'd been avoiding. How would people react?

"Do you know how it happened? Besides sex," she added with a wry grin.

He grinned back, blushing slightly. "I'm a tasan. Some Saiyan men could have babies, and Vegeta and I found out I'm one of them by accident. But I don't think most people are going to be as comfortable with it as you seem to be."

She shrugged. "I'm too old and I've seen too much to care what other people think."

"It's just kind of weird, you know? I mean, I never in my life thought such a thing could happen."

"Is that what you've been worrying yourself over? The baby?"

"No not really. It's other things. I'm happy about the baby even though it's hard to get used to."

"How does Vegeta feel about it?"

Goku smiled, thinking about how hard Vegeta worked to take care of him. "He's really happy about it even though taking care of me is a lot of work sometimes."

"It's good that you've found someone to care about. You shut down after Chichi died and I was starting to worry. It's not good for someone like you to spend so much time alone. It's right to grieve, but you can't do it forever."

"But how do you do it? How do you keep falling in love after you've lost someone?" Granny Esme had been old when Gohan was born, yet she always seemed to have a boyfriend or husband close at hand. Goku was sure she wasn't with them out of convenience or anything as crass as that, but if something happened to one of them she always seemed to be able to pick herself up and move on.

"Ah, the age old question - and I doubt you'd be content with the flip answer 'Life Goes On.' "

He shook his head. After everything that had happened to him and all the people he had lost sometimes he just couldn't understand how and why life _could_ go on.

She looked at him thoughtfully. "It's a problem for everyone, but it's even harder for people like us. Living longer than just about everyone else takes some adjustment. I would have been dead long ago if I hadn't accidentally drunk some of that potion-"

"Potion?"

She chuckled, "You don't think I come upon these years natural-like, do you? One of the fella's I was dating a long time ago had come across some magic that let you live a long, long time. I think the years weren't kind to him and he became a hermit later on."

Goku stared at her in surprise, wondering if she could have actually known Roshi in his younger days. How many hermits were there that lived long lives?

"But that was a long time ago. I remember him from his younger days; he was quite a partier," she said, smiling at the memory. "I think he was planning on getting me drunk and having his way with me."

Goku blushed; this was definitely more than he ever wanted to know about Esme or Roshi.

"Like he needed to get me drunk - he was a real hunk in those days," she continued, unaware or ignoring his discomfort. "All those muscles If it weren't for him mixing up the bottles I recon I'd be long gone by now.

"I imagine that's what's troubling you. It's hard starting your second life - all of those memories are fresh and there hasn't been enough time to take most of the pain away. It gets easier though - instead of being afraid of falling in love again and risking being hurt I've found I'm now eager to meet the next person I _can_ love. Everyone's different and I want to experience them all."

Esme finally noticed his blush as he imagined her loving all of those people, and let out a hearty cackle.

"Not sex, you silly child. Although I still enjoy that as well. I meant friends and family as well as lovers and partners."

"But what happens ifWhat if they die?" he blurted.

"Everybody dies. You. Me. People you know. People you don't know. Lovers. Enemies. Everyone dies eventually. It's the risk that goes hand-in-hand with living."

"I don't want to lose anybody else. It hurts too much."

"So you're never going to be in love again? Or let someone love you? Would you have loved your boys any less if you had known they were going to pass before you? What if Chichi had refused to love you because you were going to die someday?

"Goku, my dear If you are holding yourself back, refusing to allow yourself to be completely in love, then you are hurting more than yourself. What if a meteor fell right now and killed Vegeta before you could let him know how you really feel? Would you throw away the happiness you could have together because of the remote possibility of him dying? That wouldn't be fair to you or your boyfriend."

"I never thought of it like that"

She chuckled, "You youngsters always want fresh water without digging a well. Sometimes you have to start a new one - or dig deeper than you thought. Loving someone is always risky, Goku, but imagine how much worse you would feel and how much worse your life would be if you didn't take that chance."

--

Vegeta kicked a rock out of his path, realizing with a grimace he had kicked it too hard; it flew through a tree, drilling a hole through the trunk. Kakarott wouldn't be pleased about that - he didn't approve of random destruction of what he considered 'his' woods.

It had been five days now and he kept pushing down the urge to go and bring his mate home. He had considered what Piccolo had said about giving Kakarott time and grudgingly admitted he was right - although not to his face.

He was finding it difficult to deal with the realization that his being with Kakarott might ultimately kill him. He should have made him get an abortion - he should have insisted. Then Kakarott's life wouldn't be in danger.

This wasn't something he was used to - regretting his actions or second-guessing himself. He had always plowed forward, confident in his decisionsuntil now. But why should he feel guilty, damn it? He had gotten into a relationship with Kakarott for all of the right reasons. He hadn't done anything wrong. So why did he blame himself?

He couldn't even answer that.

He had to follow Kakarott's typical attitude that everything would work out if you just kept at it. He just wished he got the sense his mate felt the same right now.

He scanned around, trying to locate Kakarott's ki, but without success. He was feeling the first twinges of concern at its lack, and tried to convince himself his mate was fine. Vegeta had already been to the Lookout, only to be told Kakarott had left to go to the local village. He'd intended to go there and search the streets until he located his mate, but reluctantly resisted at the memory of Piccolo's words.

The hell with it, he growled, kicking another rock through the tree - this time on purpose. He was going to find his mate. Kakarott needed him; in his condition he shouldn't be left alone for extended periods of time. He needed protection.

Vegeta strode through the woods, barely noticing where he was walking. He and Kakarott had strolled along this same path, his mate pointing out certain plants, describing their qualities. That had been months ago, before it had become a daily effort to help his mate maintain his ki at healthy levels.

He froze.

Kakarott was on his back in the center of a sunlit clearing, arms outstretched and not moving.

TBC 


	13. Anniversary

_This is the censored version - if you are old enough to read the full version go to AFF or Mediaminer._

**Patience**  
**_By Pixelgoddess_**

Summary - Vegeta has had his eye on Goku for years, but isn't willing to make the first move. Will either of them bend?

This started out life as a series of one-shots, with required sentences - first 'Why did you stop?', then 'I've been waiting a long time for this' and 'You wouldn't dare.' Now look what has happened - it's taken on a life of its own.

Pairings - oh please - I almost never write anything but Goku and Vegeta. What do you think?

Warnings - This is me you are talking about - expect smut and angst, pretty much in equal measure. With enough sap to thin it out. Goku/Vegeta. Sex. Kissing. Smut. Yaoi. (Does everyone know what that means?) And now that the cat is out of the bag - mpreg.

A disclaimer too? sighs Would I worry about paying my bills if I owned them? Hell, if I owned them, there would have been more naked Saiyans, more sex, Goku would have saved Vegeta, and the prince would have been the one to pound the lizard to a pulp.

**Chapter 13 - Anniversary**

Vegeta stared at his unmoving mate in disbelief. More time - he was supposed to have more time than this. He knelt beside him and brushed his fingertips gently over his cheek.

"Kakarott?" he whispered. How could he have failed this badly? He should have been able to do something to prevent this from happening. He felt the heat of tears gathering, distorting his sight, creating the illusion of Kakarott's eyelids fluttering. "Damn it," he muttered, brushing a hand over his eyes trying to clear his vision.

He opened them again, trying to think what to do, when he came to the shocked realization that Kakarott's eyes were open, and he was smiling up at him.

"Vegeta?" he said, his voice still heavy with sleep.

Before he could formulate a response, Kakarott reached up, and looping an arm around Vegeta's neck, drew him down for a kiss. Vegeta found himself too thrown by the progression of events to be an enthusiastic participant, concentrating more on supporting himself so his full weight didn't fall on Kakarott. As it was he found himself battling with anger and relief and he didn't know which one to react to more.

Kakarott released him and he found himself still bent over, glaring down at his mate. "You're alright," he stated. "Nothing's wrong with you."

"No" Kakarott looked confused.

"They why are you on the ground?"

"Oh" Kakarott said with a tentative smile, "I just took a nap."

"A nap," he snapped. "Do you think this is a good place to take a _nap_?"

"Sure. Why not?" Kakarott said, struggling to sit up. "It's sunny and warma perfect spot. I was on my way home and got really tired."

Vegeta helped him stand, frustrated that Kakarott didn't realize why he was upset. "It was sunny and warm so you just lay down and took a nap?"

"Wellyeah. What's wrong?"

Vegeta relented, rubbing his hand over his eyes in frustration; it was obvious Kakarott was completely bewildered by his anger. He took a deep breath, making a conscious effort to will it away. "You could have called me. I would have come for you. What if something had happened?"

Kakarott looked chagrined - apparently he finally realized just why he was so angry. "I'm sorry Vegeta. I didn't mean to upset you I just--"

"I was worried, that's all. I'm allowed to be worried about my mate." He'd been so anxious for Kakarott to return, he didn't want to fight with him as soon as he got back. What if Kakarott got annoyed and went away again? Deep down, he knew he hadn't frightened him on purpose.

Kakarott caught him in a tight hug. "I missed you."

He sighed and returned the embrace, "I missed you as well."

Kakarott drew back, releasing his hold enough to tilt Vegeta's chin up, gently pressing their lips together. Vegeta smiled into the kiss; the affection his mate had for him was so obvious he wondered how he could ever have questioned it.

"Am I forgiven?" Kakarott whispered in his ear.

"I thought something had happened to you," he said in a low voice.

"I'm _really_ sorry I upset you. I didn't mean to," Kakarott said, brushing gentle fingertips through his hair. Vegeta felt a pleased shiver pass through him at the touch. He had missed his mate; these five days had seemed like an eternity.

"Are you ready to come home now?" he asked.

"Yes," Kakarott said smiling, taking his hand and heading for the path. "I hear you went to the village while I was gone. What kind of food did you get?"

"Damn busybody," he muttered, allowing his mate to continue to hold his hand. "I knew she wouldn't keep her mouth shut."

Kakarott grinned over at him. "Are you planning something special?"

"How do you know I didn't turn around and eat it all?"

"You? Going shopping when there is already food in the house just so you can eat it all in a day? I doubt it. You're up to something."

"Could be. You'll just have to wait and see," he smirked back.

"So does that mean you're doing the cooking tonight?"

"Kakarott - you fell asleep in a fucking field. Do you honestly think I'm going to let you loose in the kitchen before you've had a chance to rest?"

Kakarott chuckled, "I think I'll take a nap in the woods every day then."

"Don't you dare," he warned.

"How are you going to stop me?"

"I'll tie you to the fucking bed if I have to."

"Promise?"

Vegeta turned in surprise to see Kakarott smiling widely at him; he'd never hinted he might actually want to play that game before. He smirked back, "Not if you are going to enjoy it."

"Awww" He released his hand to wrap an arm around Vegeta's shoulder and pull him close, "Although maybe we should wait until after the baby is born."

"You're awfully damn cheerful. Did you get whatever it was that was bothering you figured out?"

Kakarott released him, looking thoughtful, and they walked side by side in silence for several minutes.

"I don't know if I have it _all_ figured out," he finally said, "But I've made a start."

Vegeta felt an uncomfortable squirm of guilt. After all the good things Kakarott had done for him, it bothered him to be causing so much stress. There were so many things he wished he had another chance at.

"Kakarott I never meant to pressure you into making me your mate."

"You haven't - I'm pressuring myself more than you ever could. I think I've wanted to be close to you longer than either of us ever realized - I just didn't have a name for it. I want you to be my mate, Vegeta. I think I've just been afraid of stupid things. And because of that I've hurt you."

"You haven't--"

"Yes I have. I keep doing it. I did today without even thinking. Since we've been together you've already found me passed out bleeding and had to save me from falling to my death I can just imagine how it looked to you."

He shrugged, trying without much success to minimize how disturbed these events had made him. "You worry too much. It will be alright, Kakarott. We have all the time in the world. Everything will work out," he said, hoping he wasn't lying.

"What did you do while I was gone?"

"Trained. Beat up the Namek."

"As long as you didn't kill him."

"I would have, but I couldn't think of a good excuse you'd believe."

Kakarott grinned, "Nice to know something's holding you back."

"You just would have gotten those damn puppy dog eyes and moped until we wished the bastard back."

Kakarott stopped and turned to stare into his eyes. Vegeta felt a shiver race through him at the intensity of his gaze.

"You do know I would never leave you, don't you Vegeta? Piccolo's not a threat to you. I'm not going to abandon you for him or for anyone else. You're the one I've chosen to spend my second life with."

Kakarott must have been talking to the old woman - she used the same term with him. If it helped Kakarott figure out what was wrong he was all for it. She had reminded him how difficult it had been for him to adjust to his own second life when he first settled on Earth; maybe that's why he found this one - his third? fourth? easier to cope with.

"I know," he finally admitted to himself. "I think that's why I haven't actually followed through and killed him when he's been an ass." He paused. "But that old woman is a busybody."

Kakarott laughed. "I like her." He suddenly put a hand in his pocket, searching until he pulled out a capsule. "I almost forgot. This is for you. She said it was just in case."

"What is it?"

"Dunno. Granny Esme made me promise not to open it."

"And you always keep your promises." If this was what he thought it was, he was going to need it. All of his attempts so far had been complete failures; hell, he didn't understand half of the instructions. He would have liked to have made it himself, but it didn't look like that was going to happen.

Kakarott yawned. "I think I'm going to need a recharge soon. I'm still kind of tired."

"When we get home, you should take a nap - in our bed, where it's safe."

Kakarott grinned. "Really? I'm safe in our bed?"

He smirked back and brushed a hand over his mate's tailspot. "You are for a few hours at least. I want you to get some rest while I finish in the kitchen."

"I don't know if I'm disappointed or impressed. You're actually _cooking_?"

"Go with impressed."

Kakarott laughed. "Okay, you can impress me after my nap and again tonight."

"Are you going to be alright?" he asked, remembering Kakarott's nightmares. "What about your dreams?"

"I think I've got that under control now."

"How?" If he did, it was a huge relief, but Vegeta didn't see how it was possible - at least not within a matter of days.

Kakarott shrugged. "I'm not really sure how, but whatever Dende did seemed to help."

"Good."

Kakarott smiled at him. "Give me a kiss, and then I'm going to take you up on that offer of a nap. I've missed you and your ki and fully intend to have you give me a complete wake-up welcome home recharge when I wake up."

Vegeta grinned, "It's a deal."

--

Vegeta looked around the kitchen and sighed. He couldn't believe he was doing this. Maybe he should have tried the flowers and candy first. He had decided to make a gesture to encourage Kakarott, but what the hell was he thinking when he decided to try _cooking_? Several hours later, the meal was finally ready and he had a much better appreciation of Kakarott's skills in the kitchen. If they'd had to rely on Vegeta's abilities they'd be living on a diet of spaghetti and steak. And grilled cheese - he was great at making grilled cheese.

He put the food on the table and shrugged. It didn't look as good as his memory of this meal, but it seemed presentable. At least it smelled okay. He doubted Kakarott would laugh at his efforts, but he still felt foolish; was he trying too hard? It was too much like trying to seduce a prospective lover - something he rarely had to work at.

He had decided to make more of an effort to convince Kakarott when Piccolo had warned him of what could happen if they weren't completely mated. That was when the seed of this 'romantic' gesture had been planted. He hadn't been completely convinced until his mate managed to scare the hell out of him again, even though it was accidental. He really had thought Kakarott was dead and he'd lost everything he'd been waiting for. Now that he realized he couldn't afford to be patient any longer he was determined to do whatever it took; if Kakarott needed human symbols in order to be convinced, he'd have to learn how to use them.

Vegeta stuck his head in the bedroom, not surprised to see his mate was still asleep. "Kakarott, dinner is ready in ten minutes. If you plan on showering before eating, do it now."

Kakarott peered out at him from between the covers. "That's not how I like to wake up. You should kiss me awake."

"You're already awake."

"But I still need my kiss."

Vegeta rolled his eyes, pleased his mate felt well enough to play. "I spoil you," he said, crossing to the bed.

"I know," Kakarott said, drawing him down for a slow affectionate kiss.

"Alright," he finally said, unwillingly pulling away, "go take your shower now."

"Aww, can't it wait a few minutes?"

"Not if you want any hope of the food still being edible, it can't."

Kakarott grinned and rolled out of bed. Vegeta smirked as his mate dropped his pants, bare ass swaying in the breeze on his way to the shower. One of them was going to regret cutting their kiss short, but at the moment he wasn't sure which.

--

"Wow Vegeta," Goku said, finishing his half of the dessert, "I'm really impressed. You chose such difficult recipes."

Vegeta looked up from his own plate in surprise. Goku knew most cooking was difficult for him - he probably had no idea he'd made his task even more complicated. "I did?"

"Um hmm," he nodded. "The main course especially has so many steps and takes so much advanced preparation I almost never make it. It's been forever since I last did."

"A year," Vegeta smirked.

The contents of their dinner finally registered for him and he stared at Vegeta in wide-eyed surprise. "A year?" he whispered. "Vegeta" That would explain why he had chosen to make these particular dishes. Goku had never been good with dates, but how could he have forgotten this one?

"Sorry, but I didn't make the dessert. The old busybody took care of that for me."

"You remembered?" he breathed, stunned.

"Didn't you?" Vegeta had the beginnings of a satisfied smile.

Goku shook his head. "No, I kind of lost track," he said apologetically.

Vegeta grinned and let him off the hook, "So did I. But you wrote the date in your cookbookfollowed by many hearts and smiling faces. And my seal."

"You're never going to let me hear the end of that, are you?" Goku blushed.

"Nope," he said, rising from his chair and moving to stand next to him.

Goku looked up at him curiously, wondering just what the prince had in mind. He watched as Vegeta smirked and dipped his finger in the remnants of whipped cream from the plate, bringing it to Goku's lips. Goku touched it with the tip of his tongue, delicately licking away the sweetness. Vegeta smiled at him and bent to tease him with a much too swift kiss. Goku reached for his prince, intending to draw him back, but Vegeta drew away, wrapping his hand around Goku's wrist. Goku allowed himself to be tugged out of his chair and guided until his back was against the wall.

They grinned at each other, Vegeta continuing to hold his wrist with one hand. Using the other to tangle in his hair, he drew Goku down for a leisurely, completely carnal kiss. After long minutes he finally drew away.

"Why did you stop?" Goku asked, remembering the moment when his entire life had changed.

"I thought it was a good idea to stop before you passed out from lack of oxygen."

Goku chuckled and curled his arms around Vegeta's waist, drawing them together until their bodies were touching. "Has it really been a year?"

Vegeta shrugged. "A little longerbut close enough."

"You did all this," Goku gestured towards the table, "for me?" He didn't think it was a good idea to mention this was something Chichi would have done to be romantic. It was nice to know Vegeta could be just as thoughtful if he wanted to. He grinned with amusement as he detected the faint hint of Vegeta's cheeks heating - he had caught the prince making a 'gesture'.

"I had to eat too," Vegeta said lamely.

"I never would have thought of it - or imagined you'd do something like this. I like it," Goku said, kissing him, deciding it was better to acknowledge the special effort even if it did embarrass Vegeta a little. "It's very romantic."

Vegeta made a little groan, "Oh GodS, please don't tell the Namek that."

Goku chuckled. He really had caught the prince out. "You are so amazing," he said, brushing fingertips over Vegeta's firm jaw. "After everything you've been through and all the terrible things--"

Vegeta interrupted him, placing his fingers over Goku's lips. "Those were old lives, long gone - some were good and some were bad. They're not forgotten, but they don't control me. What matters now is this life. And I fully intend to enjoy it."

Goku experienced a surge of emotion hearing the prince's words. It still amazed him how much Vegeta could make him feel with a simple word or gesture. "Vegeta, I" he began, not even knowing how to communicate all the passion he felt for his prince.

"Hush," Vegeta said, beginning to slowly unbutton the front of Goku's shirt, "You talk too much, trying to tell me things I already know. No more talking" He kissed the hollow of Goku's now exposed throat. "Groaning and whimpering is acceptable," he said, his voice a deep rumble as Vegeta began kissing a path down his chest. "And panting. I really enjoy your panting."

Goku couldn't help but oblige, a wordless cry escaping unbidden when Vegeta's tongue slid over his breastbone, sending a pleasant shiver through him that reached straight through to his heart.

"Much better," Vegeta purred, tugging the last of the buttons open, sliding his fingertips over Goku's side in a long smooth stroke. Goku moved his arms, about to slide out of the shirt, but Vegeta caught it and pulled it back, using his hold on the fabric to draw Goku's head down. "Leave it on," he whispered before demanding a kiss, the intensity leaving Goku breathless.

Vegeta drew back and gave him wry smirk, his eyes traveling down to Goku's already obvious erection. He brushed his hand over it, chuckling at Goku's gasp before moving it to remove his pants. Goku moaned in relief as well as frustration when he realized his growing belly now prevented him from seeing everything Vegeta was doing. He felt the air hit his skin, giving him goosebumps as Vegeta slowly slid his clothing down, exposing more and more of his flesh. They puddled around his ankles and he started to lift a foot to remove them entirely, but Vegeta stopped him.

"Leave them," he said.

Goku raised an eyebrow in question.

"Keeps you from getting away," he smirked.

"I'm not going anywhere," Goku whispered.

Vegeta grinned and leaned forward, catching his collar again to pull his head down for another kiss. "I know," he said when he finally released him, stepping back just enough to eye Goku appraisingly. "I think I want you sitting down - right there. Leave your clothes on."

Goku looked at him curiously before nodding a smile and slid down the wall, taking Vegeta's hand to help him down.

Vegeta grinned down at his disheveled looking mate. His refusal to let Kakarott remove his clothing completely made him look even more enticing. His white shirt spread open, exposing his chest and belly and his jeans tangled around his calves and ankles, limiting his range of motion. He was tilted back against the wall, arms supporting him, legs splayed, his erection a tempting display.

"Very nice," Vegata purred. "I like you like this."

"You're still dressed," Kakarott said petulantly.

"You're talking," he chided.

Kakarott shrugged and made a lopsided grin before releasing a loud, completely artificial pant.

Vegeta snorted in amusement and began unbuckling his belt. Kakarott's eyes were riveted to his hands as he slowly released each button, teasing his mate with inch by exposed inch of skin. Before pushing his jeans down past his hips, he turned his back on his mate, grinning back at him over his shoulder. With an efficient sway and shimmy they quickly crumpled down around his ankles.

"See something you like?" he purred, moving seductively, teasing Kakarott. The tail of his still-buttoned shirt hid and revealed his ass, his hard cock still out of view of his mate.

"Not enough," Kakarott growled.

"Impatient. Chatty," Vegeta teased, bending to dig through the pockets of his discarded jeans. "Damn it," he grumbled, turning to face his mate. "Lube?" he asked.

Kakarott shook his head, staring at him with wide eyes.

"Damn it," he grumbled. "Stay there!" he commanded, leaving the room. "Don't move."

"I can't!" Kakarott called back, "Between the pants and the hard-on I'm stuck!"

Vegeta guffawed. A year ago Kakarott wouldn't have even said 'hard-on' out loud let alone admit having one. "Good. Stay that way."

"Like I have a choice," he heard Kakarott mutter as he rooted through a drawer in their bedroom. He returned a moment later, tube in hand. He paused in the doorway a moment to admire the view; Kakarott's eyes were closed and he was slowly stroking himself.

"Starting without me?" he asked with a grin.

Kakarott smirked back, "You took too long."

"You're just spoiled," he replied, settling on his mate's legs.

"And whose fault is that?" Kakarott teased, slipping his hand underneath the tail of Vegeta's shirt.

Vegeta sighed theatrically and handed Kakarott the lube. "Mine, unfortunately. It appears I have created a monster."

"A horny one, too."

Vegeta had no real response to that one, so he leaned forward, capturing Kakarott's lips. His mate practically melted under him, returning the kiss with passionate enthusiasm. Kakarott's curled fingers teased him, gliding over his skin under the confines of his shirt.

Vegeta's own hands were busy exploring; trailing sparks of ki as he traced the muscles of Kakarott's shoulders and chest. He slipped his hand behind, fingertips barely touching the sensitive tailspot of his mate. Kakarott froze for a moment in anticipation, gasping with pleasure when Vegeta relented and sent a wave of ki flowing through him.

"Do that again," Kakarott demanded, curling his fingers into the neck of Vegeta's shirt in order to pull him back down for another carnal kiss. Vegeta obliged, sending a spike of ki through his mate as their tongues touched. Kakarott groaned.

"You better put that lube to use soon," Vegeta warned.

Kakarott hesitated, "For you?"

He snorted, "Of course for me. You don't think I'd put stress on your body by fucking you on the kitchen floor, do you?"

Kakarott shrugged and grinned, opening the tube. "What are we going to do when I get big?"

"We'll be creative," he said, shifting to make it easier for his mate to reach his entrance. "There are lots of positions we haven't tried yet."

"Good," Kakarott said, teasing fingers just brushing over skin, "I'm already having problems fitting into clothes."

Vegeta chuckled, nipping at his ear, "So don't wear any."

"Oh, you'd like that wouldn't you? Bare-assed and pregnant."

"Easy access," he grinned. "I-" He broke off with a pleased groan as his mate's finger slipped inside, reaching unerringly for the bundle of pleasure nerves.

"Too bad it can't happen to you," Kakarott said, continuing his teasing, "I'd like to see _you_ bare-assed and pregnant."

"You'll have to settle for bare-assed," he gasped as his mate momentarily eased up on his preparations. "GodS, Kakarott, why are you taking so long? Hurry up and-" He was interrupted again by a hand stroking his cock, wringing a long shuddering moan from his throat.

He braced a hand on the wall, trying desperately not to collapse. He closed his eyes in frustrated pleasure, fully aware Kakarott was smirking at him, drinking in every changing expression as he was tormented with his mate's much too slow preparations.

He felt he was ready - hell he was well past ready - but still Kakarott continued with strokes that were much too slow and gentle.

"Damn it," he growled, patience gone. "Hurry up and fuck me."

Kakarott grinned, "Not until I'm ready."

Vegeta curled a hand around his mate's erection and gave a gentle, but warning squeeze. "If you were any more ready you'd have come already."

Kakarott's reply was a breathless laugh as he arched up into Vegeta's hand.

"Give me that!" Vegeta demanded, snatching up the lube. In a smooth motion he flipped open the lid, squeezed some into his hand, and coated Kakarott's erection with it. He lowered himself, teeth bared in pleasure at Kakarott's strangled cry.

Kakarott gripped the collar of Vegeta's shirt, jerking him down, their teeth grating together as they met for a desperate kiss, tongues tasting and demanding.

His arms were beginning to shake as he fought to hold himself up. Kakarott was moaning constantly, the sound changing pitch in time with Vegeta's own grunts. Just when he thought he couldn't feel any more pleasure, Kakarott bit his lip, drawing blood, and a scream ripped its way out of his throat as he came, his mate echoing the sound.

TBC

It would be so cool if someone illustrated the kitchen sex scene... grins 


	14. Dream

**Patience  
_By Pixelgoddess_**

Summary – Vegeta has had his eye on Goku for years, but isn't willing to make the first move. Will either of them bend?

This started out life as a series of one-shots, with required sentences – first 'Why did you stop?', then 'I've been waiting a long time for this' and 'You wouldn't dare.' Now look what has happened – it's taken on a life of its own.

Pairings – oh please – I almost never write anything _but_ Goku and Vegeta. What do you think?  
Warnings – This is **me** you are talking about – expect smut and angst, pretty much in equal measure. With enough sap to thin it out. Goku/Vegeta. Sex. Kissing. Smut. Yaoi. (Does everyone know what that means?) And now that the cat is out of the bag – mpreg.  
A disclaimer too? sighs Would I worry about paying my bills if I owned them? Hell, if I owned them, there would have been more naked Saiyans, more sex, Goku would have saved Vegeta, and the prince would have been the one to pound the lizard to a pulp.

**Chapter 14 – Dream**

Goku looked around in confusion, trying to get his bearings. After a moment of bewildered staring, he realized he had to be dreaming again. He climbed awkwardly to his feet and crossed over to where he was still asleep with Vegeta, arms and legs completely tangled, their bodies pressed together as if trying to fuse by contact.

"That's certainly something to see."

Goku snapped around at the voice, not sure if he had imagined it. "Chichi?" he asked hesitantly. She looked younger than when he had last seen her; long dark hair pulled back in a ponytail and bright laughing eyes he remembered from so long ago.

She smiled widely, "Of course."

He rushed over and fell to his knees, wrapping himself around her, "Chichi! I missed you so much." He breathed in her scent; as warm and sweet as he remembered.

She held him close, stroking his hair, just as she had always done when he was worried or upset. "It wasn't my idea to leave you," she murmured. She let him stay like that for a long time, comforting him even if she didn't know why he needed it. His friends had never really understood her – she didn't let many people see this side of her, so they didn't think she was capable of it…kind of like Vegeta.

He sighed happily.

"Are you ready to stand up yet?" she asked with a little laugh.

"Yeah," he said with a sheepish grin, releasing her to get to his feet. He hugged her again finally paying attention to her, and not just the idea of her. He stroked her back with his palm, enjoying the feel of her curves and muscles. Muscles? "Hey," he said, pulling back to look at her, "You have muscles. You didn't when you di--" He stopped, not wanting to say the word and change this into another nightmare.

She laughed and flexed her arm, showing off. "I've got to keep in shape for the tournaments. I'm not at the top level, of course, but I have fun."

"You're in tournaments? How? You're d—"

She held a finger to her lips and shushed him. "This is a dream, right? Talking to you like this wouldn't be allowed otherwise."

"But…"

She ignored his confused interruption. "It doesn't have to make sense. You're _dreaming_," she repeated with emphasis.

"But…"

"Agree," she said, taking his face in her hands and making him nod his head. "I'm dreaming – say it."

"I'm dreaming," he repeated.

She smiled up at him. "See? That wasn't so hard."

He grinned back.

She looked over where he was sleeping with Vegeta and cocked her head. "How long have I been dead? I've lost track of time."

"Eight years," he said sadly. He loved her so much and when she had died he thought he'd never be happy again. Seeing her again reminded of that; what would he have done without Vegeta?

"Really?" She looked thoughtful. "It's been a lot longer than that for me. How long have you and Vegeta…" she trailed off.

He wondered if she was going to get upset and start yelling at him. She'd been fine with Goten, but that was their son and entirely different circumstances - Goku and Chichi had been married. He knew a lot of humans had problems with their partners finding someone else, let alone someone of the same sex.

"A year," he said hesitantly. He wasn't ashamed of Vegeta, but he hated the idea of upsetting her. "We just had our first anniversary."

"That's nice," she said with a little non-committal smile.

"Vegeta cooked dinner; he used one of your recipes," he added, hoping she'd approve.

Chichi beamed, much to his surprise. "Vegeta cooked for you? That's so romantic."

"Yeah," he smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head. "I'm surprised you're not upset."

She cocked her head, confused. "What, for him using my recipe?"

He laughed a little that she would even think of that first. "No! That would be silly. I meant because of me being with Vegeta. I mean… I'm g-gay," he finished, stumbling over the word. There – he had said it. But what if Chichi got mad? It wouldn't change how he felt about Vegeta, but it would make him uncomfortable; he always tried to keep her happy. He didn't always succeed, but at least he tried.

Chichi laughed, "No you're not. It's Vegeta the _person_ you're attracted to, not because he's a guy."

"But I…" She didn't seem upset – that was a good thing. And she hadn't had any trouble with Goten over his constant stream of boyfriends. But Vegeta was a guy – and he was a guy – didn't that make him--?

She crossed her arms and studied him. He recognized that pose; she was going to _make_ him see 'reason'. It was hard to disagree with her when she was being reasonable, even if he hadn't agreed with her in the first place. "I'm serious Goku. Have you ever been attracted to any other male in your entire life? Looked at them and thought they were hot, or cute, or whatever? Did you ever want to kiss Yamcha or Tien or any of the hundreds of other fighters you knew?"

He shook his head, bewildered.

"It's because it's Vegeta, silly. You've been hooked on him forever. I knew that – but I trusted you to keep your marriage vows."

"Oh. I never thought of it like that. Maybe you're right," he said thoughtfully.

"I suspect Saiyans are more flexible in their attractions – Gohan and Trunks certainly were, even if they did usually end up with women. You and Vegeta – it makes a kind of sense, don't you think?"

He shrugged – he'd never considered it before. "I guess so…" he said hesitantly.

"You're so open-minded I figured the two of you would get together after I died." She studied his face. "But I didn't think it would take you seven _years_. Was there anyone else, or were you alone that whole time?"

"_You_ were alone for seven years while _I_ was gone." When he came back and realized how much he'd missed and how much he'd been missed he had felt so guilty. After that, he made sure he always came back home regularly even when he was doing intense training. He never wanted to put his family through that again.

"The circumstances weren't the same. And I wasn't completely alone; I had the boys. Your friends took care of me, too." Goku saw she was getting upset, but was surprised to realize it was _for_ him, not _at_ him. "But what about you, Goku? Who took care of _you_?"

He shrugged. "It wasn't so bad – I had spent a lot of time by myself as a kid, so I was used to it. And I wasn't always alone – Piccolo was always available to talk to. Vegeta came over a lot to spar. We got to be good friends."

Chichi smiled at him. "But it took some time for you and Vegeta to become lovers? I guess you weren't ready yet."

Goku blushed. It was embarrassing enough that Chichi saw them together like this, but somehow it was even worse to hear her say it."You're not upset though?"

She shrugged, looking thoughtfully over to where they were sleeping. "I've had a long time to get used to the idea. Come to think of it, it's probably been longer than you've had. We had over 50 good years together; it isn't fair of me to expect you to stay alone just because Saiyans live longer." She made a wry grin, "And besides, I know that no _woman_ could ever take my place."

Goku grinned back. "Nope. None could." They had talked about what he would do after she was gone, but he had always thought it was just talk. He never thought it would really apply to him or that she really meant it.

Chichi wandered over to the bed and flipped the covers back.

"Chichi!" he exclaimed, scandalized. What if Vegeta woke up? He could just imagine trying to explain this to him.

"What? You're both still covered up enough to protect your dignity."

"What are you doing?" What if she could see how pregnant he was – what then? Krillin didn't know, but Gohan did. She didn't say anything so maybe he shouldn't either.

"Checking, of course. I want to make sure he's taking good care of you."

"Vegeta takes very good care of me," he said, jerking the sheet back over their dignities.

She looked thoughtful. "He's really changed since he first arrived, hasn't he? That's good. I like how he holds you," she commented. "He must really love you to be so close and touch you like that."

Goku looked back at their bodies now covered with the sheet. What was so special about how Vegeta held him? He lifted up the sheet and peered under it, checking. It looked the same as usual to him; one of Vegeta's palms was pressed flat against his tailspot, the other against his cheek, fingers brushing through his hair.

"He likes to touch my face," he said with a shrug. "I kind of like it."

Chichi went to the other side of the bed, behind Vegeta, and tugged the sheet down again, although it was at least less than before. He made a yelp of protest; how was it he or Vegeta hadn't woken up because of all of this activity?

"Oh shush," she said. "You're not going to wake up."

He sighed; he never won fights when she was like this. Heck, she wasn't even fighting, just being… nosy. He went to her side of the bed and looked at what had her so interested.

She poked the fingers of his sleeping self. "Did you hurt your hands? You're not holding him right."

"Huh?"

"Look," she said prying one of his loose fists open. "They're all curled up. You never held me like that." She looked thoughtful for a moment. "Well you did for a little while when we first got married, but that was only a day or two. I think you were worried I'd break or vanish or something, but you got over it pretty quickly."

He smiled remembering those early days; it had been so strange touching someone so soft – not at all like fighting. She'd seemed so fragile he'd been afraid she might break, but once he'd gotten over that things got so much better. "I liked to hold you."

"I know," she smiled back.

Goku frowned to himself as Chichi carefully opened his hands, placing them back on Vegeta. He wasn't afraid of Vegeta breaking, so it was kind of weird that he held him like that. Why hadn't Vegeta said anything?

"There, that's better," she said with a pleased smile, standing back to admire her work. Vegeta shifted and drew the sleeping Goku closer with a contented purr. "That's so sweet," she said happily.

Goku took the sheet and threw it over them. "That's enough." He looked at her and shook his head in amazement. He just couldn't believe she was behaving like this. He was in bed with someone other than her…with a _man_…with **_Vegeta_** for gods' sake. Shouldn't she be…shouldn't she be annoyed? Upset? Enraged? This happy acceptance was not what he expected.

"Are you _sure_ you're Chichi?" he finally asked in bewildered frustration.

She giggled. "Of course I am. I bet you thought I'd yell at you or something for being with Vegeta."

He nodded, "Well…yeah." That was the topic of some of his nightmares – not that he'd told Vegeta. He had believed she would be disappointed in him – and it was a huge surprise to find out he was wrong.

Chichi sighed. "I've had a long time to get used to it – I kind of suspected this would happen when I was still alive."

"There was never anyone but you—". He hoped she didn't think he'd cheated on her with anyone, especially Vegeta.

"I believe you," she interrupted. "But I'm gone now, and I want you to be happy and taken care of. We knew you would live a lot longer than I would and I don't like the idea of you being alone all that time. If Vegeta makes you happy, then…" she trailed off.

"I still love you."

"I never doubted it. I love you too."

He wrapped his arms around her and drew her close, just enjoying holding her. After a few pleasant minutes, Chichi drew away.

"I have to leave soon."

"Will I see you again?" Goku asked plaintively.

"No," she shook her head, "Not like this. I'll be around for a little while, but we won't be able to talk like this again."

Goku ducked his head, not wanting her to see how much this upset him.

"Son Goku," she said sternly, "Don't you dare start crying – if you do then I will too and we don't have time."

He took a deep breath and nodded his agreement.

"There. That's better. Now _listen_ to me – and that's not something you do very often. It's okay. It's all okay. You can be with whomever you want. I want you to be with someone who will love you as much as I do and take care of you. If it's Vegeta, it's okay. You've done a lot of good things and you deserve to be happy. No one blames you for anything and your friends are not angry with you."

"That's what Vegeta says," he whispered.

"Good. You should listen to Vegeta." She took his hands and drew his fingers open. "No more holding back. Promise me."

"I promise," he whispered.

Goku slowly became aware he was back in his bed, Vegeta still wrapped around him. His eyes burned as he fought to blink back the tears. Chichi had been smiling, giving him last minute advice and comfort as she just…_faded_.

He looked at their bodies as much as he could while in Vegeta's embrace. The sheets weren't as he remembered from his dream, exposing much more of their bodies. One of Vegeta's hands remained on his tailspot, but the other was wrapped around his shoulders. His arm was wrapped around one of Vegeta's, hand curled up over the prince's shoulder. He studied his fingers, somehow disturbed to find Chichi's observation was real; his fingers were curled into a ball.

He pushed down the impulse to leap out of bed and instead gently extricated himself from the prince's embrace. Vegeta mumbled and released him, used to his frequent awakenings throughout the night. In a moment, Vegeta was back asleep. Goku gazed at his face. He looked so peaceful and content. How did he do it? How had he gone from anger and hatred to an attentive and caring lover? And why did Goku feel like he was losing more of that ability every day?

He had been afraid he'd never be able to love anyone after Chichi died, so discovering Vegeta cared about him had been a huge relief. And now? Now he felt like he was doing everything wrong and he was going to lose that love too if he didn't figure out what was wrong with him. And it was him, he was sure of it. His fault, his blame, his problem. There had to be a limit to Vegeta's patience – he was sure to get tired of Goku's failure to completely commit to him the way he deserved. Goku loved him, but it didn't seem to be enough – or maybe it wasn't the right kind of love. All he knew was he was afraid; if he didn't solve his problems he was going to lose Vegeta.

He quietly went to their closet and pulled on a shirt and shoes. Glancing at the predawn light filtering through the window he grabbed a long coat; no sense in upsetting Vegeta even more by not staying warm enough. He went to the front door and quietly let himself out, heading to the nearby stream.

Wrapping his coat around his knees he leaned back against a conveniently sloped boulder. He held his hands up, studying his spread fingers, curling and uncurling them. Was Chichi right? Did the way he held Vegeta mean something? And why _did_ he hold Vegeta like that? He'd never hugged anyone like that before.

Did this mean he didn't mean it when he held Vegeta? No! He refused to believe that. He'd wanted to be friends with Vegeta soon after meeting him. No one else challenged and drove him to succeed harder than the prince did. And once they became friends he found himself wanting more. He was in love with Vegeta – every arrogant, egotistical, thoughtful, unreasonable, possessive, protective, aggravating, caring part of him.

He opened his hand and experimentally cupped his own cheek, resting against the curve of skin. Vegeta touched him like this all the time; had he ever done more than brush his knuckles against the prince? It was obvious Vegeta enjoyed it, why hadn't he ever reciprocated?

"Kakarott?"

Goku looked up to see Vegeta coming his way, his face lit by the first glimmering of sunrise, his brow creased with concern. He handed Goku a blanket before settling beside him, shoulders touching.

"What's wrong?"

Goku glanced over at him before giving a desolate shrug. "I had a dream."

"A nightmare? You should have woken me up."

He gave a tiny shake of his head and began spreading the blanket over them. "Not a nightmare. It was just… It was Chichi."

"Ah," Vegeta nodded, understanding.

"I think Dende broke some rules… I've never had dreams like that before. I mean…it was nice seeing everyone, but they were different from every other dream I've had." He had suspicions before, but the changes in Chichi… There was only one place he was able to be in tournaments after he died, and that was Otherworld. Maybe he wasn't supposed to know, or say anything, which was why she insisted he say he was dreaming. If he didn't, would Dende be in trouble – because of him?

"I'm sure he had a very good reason."

"I could be wrong…" If Dende had done it for him, it was a generous gift. Giving him the chance to talk to friends and family had quieted so many of his fears. Was that why he had done it? If so, he didn't want to get him into trouble.

"What happened in your dream?"

"She saw us sleeping together, but she wasn't upset." He related what had been said, ducking his head in embarrassment as he related how she kept trying to look under the covers.

Vegeta shrugged, "I'm not completely surprised at her actions. That kind of voyeurism was rather common among Saiyan women."

Goku looked at him in surprise, "You don't mind?"

He made a wry grin, "Why should I? I would have thought you had realized by now how varied my tastes are. An audience is on that list."

Goku swallowed hard, blushing at the image that brought to mind.

Vegeta grinned at his visible reaction before his expression changed to one of concern. "Is this why you're out here? Because of her seeing us together in a dream?"

"No… She said..." He trailed off, curling and uncurling his hands, concentrating on keeping them open. "Do I hold you wrong?"

"What?" Vegeta looked bemused. "There's no right way or wrong way."

They fell silent. Goku was conscious of Vegeta watching him as he watched his own hands. Open. Close. Open. Close. What was wrong with him? He remembered touching Vegeta, exploring his skin with hesitant curiosity…but that seemed so long ago. Had he done that lately? He wondered if he was shrinking somehow – growing ever smaller. It seemed that way; like he was losing pieces and parts of himself and would someday just fade away and vanish. Somehow he knew he just needed to hold on to Vegeta, but he just didn't seem to be able to.

"What if I _am_ holding back?" he blurted.

Vegeta looked at him curiously, "Are you?"

"I don't know…not on purpose," he whispered, studying his fingers. "But what if I am?" Some part of him knew it was true – knew Chichi was right. She saw it so quickly and he never even realized it. He looked at Vegeta's profile, struck by fear. "I'm going to lose you, aren't I?"

Vegeta looked at the stream, not meeting his worried gaze. "I won't…_can't_ leave you. If anything, I am in more danger of losing you."

"I…I…" Goku felt tears welling up and spilling over at the realization Vegeta had actually thought about the possibility of them being apart. "Don't say that. Tell me what to do. I'll do anything. Just don't…" He trailed off, not knowing what to say.

"I don't know what to do to help you anymore, Kakarott. I've tried, but it has to come from you. _You_ have to want to this," he said in a low voice.

"I _do_," he protested. "But I don't know what's wrong with me. I want you to be my mate – I love you." He took a shaky breath. "But ever since I got pregnant I've become so afraid. I know I shouldn't be, but… I don't like being like this," he finished miserably, using the blanket to wipe away tears that continued to fall unchecked.

Goku turned his head away as Vegeta looked at him. He didn't want Vegeta to see him cry; he never cried and now he couldn't seem to stop himself. It was too late though – Vegeta had seen. The prince's gentle hand curved against his face and coaxed his gaze back, brushing away a tear.

"Kakarott, you have to stop doing this to yourself. You were always the most confident person I've known – why are you letting yourself be wracked by doubt now?"

"I don't know," he mumbled, leaning into the touch. "I just feel like I've lost my balance or something." He knew he was hurting his chances to be really happy again, but he seemed to have lost that ability; even when he was with Vegeta he felt alone.

"Why do you do this? I've told you repeatedly I won't leave you – why can't you believe it? Didn't your recent dreams help you at all?" Vegeta shook his head, not meeting his eye, "Damn it, Kakarott," he said without heat, "What does it take to get you to listen to me?"

"I _do_ listen to you," he protested, wiping away the last of his tears. Vegeta glanced at him, raising a questioning brow. "Well sometimes I do," he corrected. "Chichi said I should."

Vegeta snorted a laugh, "Kakarott, you have never listened to me."

Goku stared at him, stricken. "That's not…" He trailed off. He heard Vegeta through his ears, but to really _hear_ him in his head… That had always been a problem; he'd never been able to before when his ability was working perfectly, so what made him think he would be able to now? Was he doomed to fail?

He had tried to hear – to feel Vegeta when he first arrived on earth and again on Namek. He had felt just a hint then – enough to know Vegeta was at heart a good man. After that… He had tried when they were preparing for the androids, but Vegeta had been angry then and had shut him out so thoroughly and harshly it hurt. He'd hardly attempted it after that; the painful rejection and blinding headache he'd earned had dissuaded him. "I tried, but you wouldn't let me," he said bitterly.

"Are we talking about the same thing?" Vegeta asked slowly, brow creased in thought.

Goku looked at him, suddenly confused; he had been so wrapped up in his thoughts he hadn't been paying attention.

"Kakarott, did you hear me?"

"No!" Goku said, the word almost escaping as a frustrated wail. "I've never been able to – you wouldn't let me. And now I can't hear anyone at all, even though I could before."

"I talk to you all the time…you've heard me then. What do you mean…when wouldn't I let you?" Vegeta asked, bewildered.

"You don't get it," Goku sighed, finally realizing they were having two different conversations. It wasn't Vegeta's fault he didn't understand. Maybe he didn't even know what he had done. "Before – before we died…" It was strange, he thought, how he marked time by death. "I tried to feel...to _hear_ you – the same way I did everyone else – but you blocked me. It hurt. Even when we became friends I couldn't hear you."

Vegeta stared at him in surprise, not answering him immediately. When he finally responded he looked unhappy. "I was a different person then; I just wasn't ready. I hadn't realized it had become a habit. I didn't know, Kakarott. If I had, I would have let you in years ago. If I had, maybe things would be easier for you now."

He felt guilty; he hadn't meant to blame Vegeta. "It wasn't your fault – you had a lot of stuff to deal with. I can understand not wanting to let anyone know by accident or something." Goku shrugged sadly. "It doesn't matter anyway. I can't hear anyone now."

"But you _can_…you did. You heard the Nameks. Isn't that something?"

"That was different. Dende made me…"

"Maybe he just made you listen." Vegeta pulled the blanket off them and set it aside before moving to sit between Goku's legs. He watched curiously as the prince brushed gentle fingertips over his palms, coaxing his hands open. His hands were gently lifted and guided until they rested on either side of Vegeta's head.

"Kakarott," he whispered, "Listen to me. Hear me."

"I can't." Goku looked at Vegeta, seeing his pleading look, still afraid. What if he tried and failed – what then? He had this horrible feeling of running out of time and he was wasting all his chances.

"You _can_. You are Kakarott – the first Super Saiyan in generations. You defeat unbeatable opponents. Consider this one more battle that you can win. Do this for us – for the sake of our child. I want you to."

Goku closed his eyes, not wanting to meet his intense gaze.

"Please, Kakarott," he whispered. "Please."

Goku looked at his hands, fingers spread and palms against Vegeta's head. Was it true? Had he been holding back without even realizing it? Could he do this – finally have what he'd wanted for so long? His eyes drifted back to Vegeta's who met his before closing, looking exposed and vulnerable under Goku's touch.

He brushed the fingertips of one hand over Vegeta's face, tracing each feature: the broad expanse of his forehead, the nose that looked even more regal because of all of the times it had been broken, the soft eyelids hiding jet black eyes that could burn through him with just a glance, lips that were at once firm and soft, expressing so much passion with just a caress. This was his…_could_ be his if he just got over his stupid fears and accepted what was offered.

"Vegeta…" he pleaded, not knowing what else to say. Lost. He felt so lost.

Vegeta gently brushed his lips against Goku's fingertips in invitation. "You can do this."

He swallowed, acutely aware just how much trust Vegeta was putting in him. The way Vegeta had positioned Goku's hands had been on open invitation to touch his mind. He wasn't sure how he knew that – maybe one of those weird little memories that sometimes floated to the surface – but what was important was that he _knew_.

He leaned forward, curling a hand around the back of Vegeta's neck, hyper aware of the way his fingers lay against warm flesh. Remembering how much closer he felt to Vegeta during sex, he gently pressed his lips against Vegeta's. Vegeta kissed him back, just as gently, strong fingers combing through Goku's hair, making him shiver in pleasure. Vegeta gave a pleased little purr and he matched it.

He knew he was stalling, focusing on the physical that he had control over and could enjoy. Realizing he had to try and move forward, still kissing Vegeta he tentatively tried to touch his mind, ready to pull away at the first hint of rejection. He wouldn't reach in too far – he had to trust Vegeta not to let him go farther than he was comfortable with.

Within moments he realized he was actually making contact with a sense of a Vegeta – his first awareness in months. "Oh," he breathed, experiencing a thrill of surprise at how simple that had been. He was there…he _knew_ Vegeta was there.

"Kakarott," Vegeta said, their lips still barely touching, "Trust me. I won't reject you."

Encouraged by the little success, Goku gently prodded at the hazy barrier with a mix of anticipation and trepidation, tinged with regret. Could he have had Vegeta for his mate all this time? He sensed Vegeta was there, aware of a voice that was whispers he couldn't understand, but feeling tentatively triumphant – he heard something even if he couldn't interpret it.

Heartened by this, he reminded himself how easy this used to be and screwed up his courage. "Don't hold back," he heard himself whisper, "There's nothing to be afraid of."

"_Listen_ to me Kakarott."

It was now or never; he took a deep breath and willed himself to _really_ listen to Vegeta.

And then he heard it. _Sound_. He finally heard it. The deep rumble of Vegeta's voice was in his ear before expanding to surround him. He heard his name and Vegeta's concern for mate. Worry and affection and frustration and annoyance and possessiveness and jealousy and fear. There was desperation and loneliness – he had hurt the prince with his hesitation and fear just as he had known he would. But there was also admiration and pride and a huge swelling of relief. All these emotions and they were all directed at him – all because of him - all the mixed up, confusing, sometimes heartbreaking, emotions that went along with loving someone so completely.

He hiccupped a sob, completely overwhelmed by the intensity of feeling Vegeta had for him. No longer needing to touch Vegeta's head in order to hear him, he wrapped himself tightly around Vegeta, his mate's own arms embracing him just as completely. He heard Vegeta – he _really_ heard Vegeta, and knew how the prince felt about him.

"How could I not have known?" he wept into his mate's shoulder.

He understood now Vegeta's unwillingness to use love to describe this feeling. It wasn't enough – it was such a tiny little word. There weren't enough letters – not enough sound to explain how it felt to know someone's heart so completely.

"And to think I thought I was mated before," Vegeta said bemusedly. "That was just a pale reflection of this."

"Mmmm," Goku said against his neck, not sure how to respond.

"I hadn't realized this would happen, Kakarott," Vegeta laughed and Goku felt a wave of his relief roll over them. "We're feeding each other, making the feeling even stronger."

Goku tried to pay attention, hearing how Vegeta's happiness made him happy made Vegeta happy in a dizzying circle.

"Yes," he breathed. "I can hear you. I can really hear you. You're my mate."

TBC


	15. Mated

**Patience  
**_**By Pixelgoddess**_

Summary – Vegeta has had his eye on Goku for years, but isn't willing to make the first move. Will either of them bend?  
This started out life as a series of one-shots, with required sentences – first 'Why did you stop?', then 'I've been waiting a long time for this' and 'You wouldn't dare.' Now look what has happened – it's taken on a life of its own.  
Pairings – oh please – I almost never write anything _but_ Goku and Vegeta. What do you think?  
Warnings – This is me you are talking about – expect smut and angst, pretty much in equal measure. With enough sap to thin it out. Possible character death – haven't made up my mind yet… *smirks* Goku/Vegeta. Sex. Kissing. Smut. Yaoi. (Does everyone know what that means?) And now that the cat is out of the bag – mpreg.  
A disclaimer too? *sighs* Would I worry about paying my bills if I owned them? Hell, if I owned them, there would have been more naked Saiyans, more sex, Goku would have saved Vegeta, and the prince would have been the one to pound the lizard to a pulp.

**Chapter 15 – Mated**

Vegeta woke from his doze to the pleasant sensation of Kakarott's palm gliding over his chest and smiled to himself. His mate had finally done it – finally broken through that barrier and now accepted him as his mate as well.

"Are you holding me the right way now?" he asked, just loud enough to be heard over their lazy purrs. He released a trickle of ki into Kakarott's tailspot before he had time to answer.

"That's cheating," Kakarott gasped, shivering under his touch.

"Of course. If I didn't you'd be disappointed." He felt Kakarott's amused agreement. "So are you?" he teased.

Kakarott exhaled a contented sigh, "Yeah."

"Good…now go back to sleep. You wore me out."

Kakarott made a tired rumble of agreement and held him tightly, pressing against him as closely as his growing belly allowed. He wriggled a moment to find a comfortable position for his head on Vegeta's shoulder, finally settling with his nose in Vegeta's neck breathing in his scent. Within moments he was asleep.

When he wandered out this – no, yesterday – morning he'd known Kakarott was upset about something but he hadn't been sure what. Kakarott's dream had worried him at first, especially when it made him start to question his motives and actions. He'd tried to hide how much Kakarott was upsetting him, but without complete success, almost revealing his very real fear of losing his mate.

Kakarott's tears disturbed him; his mate cried so rarely. The only time he could recall it with any clarity was because of the deaths of his wife and sons. He'd lost control of his emotions then, but it was more unusual than most people realized. He was different from Vegeta in that. Unlike Saiyans, humans saw strong emotions as a weakness. He didn't agree, but rather than be perceived weak he'd tried to learn and adapt to how humans reacted. Saiyans showed their passions much more freely.

He'd been overwhelmed by Kakarott's feelings of loss and hopelessness, and knew he couldn't wait any longer. He would do anything to save him, even open his mind up to him completely. He hadn't realized he'd still been blocking Kakarott to some extent, but once he knew he forced those barriers down. After all, what good were secrets if he lost his mate? The relief he felt when Kakarott's mind willingly touched his nearly made him cry out.

And he had been stunned to realize how much of an impact there was to his side of the bond when Kakarott accepted him as mate. The bond he had before – the sense of emotions from Kakarott – was nothing compared to this. It was like everything was amplified, creating a feedback loop that had the potential to become completely addictive. They'd have to learn to control it, of course, but the initial flood of happy emotions was a welcome change from all the stress they had been experiencing. Hell, their first kiss as mates created such overwhelming lust, he barely managed to wait to ravish Kakarott long enough to lead him to the warmth and safety of their bedroom. Once there, the only thing that finally broke the cycle, ending hours of joyful sex was Kakarott's collapsing in complete exhaustion.

He smiled to himself and stroked his mate's cheek, reaching up to trail fingers through his hair. He was safe now.

Kakarott mumbled and pressed against him, snuggling in his arms. Kakarott's tendency to be more submissive in bed, usually wanting to be the one held and protected, had surprised him at first. He thought he understood now; Kakarott had always been the one expected to be strong and protective; knowing he didn't have to be and could still be safe had to be a welcome break. And Vegeta ate it up. He liked being someone Kakarott chose to depend on – it made him feel like all the transitions he'd gone through in his life had been worth it if the end result was Kakarott's complete trust.

The strongest Saiyan in the universe was _his_ mate, carrying _his_ child, safe in _his_ arms. Life was good.

------------------------------------------

Vegeta grinned as Kakarott grabbed the sheets and flung them aside. His mate was being playfully aggressive and demanding sex – not that he had any objection. "Whose turn is it?" he asked, curious as to what Kakarott had in mind.

"Mine," Kakarott growled, reaching over him to fish in the drawer for lube. Vegeta took advantage of the position, smoothing his hands over his back and tracing fingertips over his tailspot.

"Stop that," Kakarott whined, trying without success to swat his hand away while still maintaining his precarious position. Vegeta teased him with a whisper of ki and Kakarott nearly collapsed on him in reaction.

Vegeta grinned and slid his hands down further, squeezing his mate's firm, round ass. "Why?" he chuckled, fingertips tracing the line between, circling his entrance.

"Because it's my turn!" Kakarott insisted, rolling away to check the drawer on the other side of the bed.

Vegeta sighed happily and put his hands behind his head, watching with amusement as Kakarott continued his futile search. "There's no lube left there, you know. I finished it up with the last round."

Kakarott grumbled and climbed awkwardly to his feet, jerking the sheets off the bed and wrapping them around himself. "We keep this room too cold."

"Come back, I'll heat you up," Vegeta chuckled.

"I already told you, I'm the one doing the heating," Kakarott called over his shoulder. "I'm not going to give up my turn even when I'm too big to see my erection."

Vegeta snorted. Kakarott was getting close to that stage already. "Whatever you say. I enjoy the exercise." He got up and adjusted the thermostat; it _was_ a little too cool in here for Kakarott's comfort.

Kakarott came back into the bedroom, several tubes in his hand, dragging the sheets behind him. "Hey. Get back in bed where you belong."

Vegeta started to obey, then changed his mind, smirking as he moved closer to his mate. "Make me," he purred, pressing their bodies together.

Kakarott grinned. "Cheating again."

"Umm-hmmm," he agreed, smoothing his tongue over one of Kakarott's nipples.

"You're so pushy," Kakarott complained with a laugh. "It's not going to work." Kakarott tangled fingers in his hair and tipped Vegeta's head to the side, exposing his neck and shoulder. A hard kiss against his clavicle was all it took to turn Vegeta to putty. He didn't resist at all as he was coaxed back to the bed, sitting slowly so Kakarott could kiss him there as long as possible.

Kakarott stood and looked thoughtfully down at him, one hand rubbing his belly, the other absently playing with the lube.

"Now what?" Vegeta smirked. He'd been seeing more and more of this look lately; Kakarott was trying to figure out how in the hell he was going to get what he wanted without the baby getting in the way.

"Give me a pillow," he finally said.

Vegeta reached behind him and grabbed one, tossing it to his mate. Kakarott caught it and dropped it to the floor. "So?"

"In a minute, in a minute," Kakarott complained, lowering himself slowly to kneel on the pillow, using Vegeta and the bed for support. "Quit rushing me. Pushy." He started to change position and thought the better of it. "Scoot over."

Vegeta grinned and shifted so Kakarott could have easier access. "Better?"

"Perfect," he said, strong hands on his thighs spreading Vegeta's legs wider.

"So what's the plan?" Vegeta teased, propping himself up on his elbows to see Kakarott slowly stroking himself.

His mate rolled his eyes with a completely faked air of harassment. "Don't rush me. And who says I have a plan? Maybe I'm just making it up as I go along."

"Even better." It fascinated him to realize that even after a year together his mate still found their time together to be new and surprising; at times he seemed to revert to the curious but willing virgin. Most of the time Kakarott was all about the kissing and touching and foreplay, but every now and then he would be more aggressive, only wanting a quick fuck. He wondered what it would be this time.

He stared back as Kakarott studied him, not able to hide his grin as his mate's thumbs gently stroked his inner thighs.

"You like that?" Kakarott grinned back, reaching one hand up to trace delicate designs with his fingertips over Vegeta's chest and abdomen.

"What do you think?" Vegeta purred happily, watching his own erection grow even harder.

"You'll like this even more," Kakarott said, smirking. An instant later Vegeta gasped in pleased surprise at the feel of Kakarott's warm mouth wrapped around him.

Aggressive, then.

Kakarott had gotten amazingly good at this. Completely capable of taking Vegeta's entirely into his mouth, and creative in technique. Even with Vegeta's years of experience he had learned some tricks from his talented mate. He could feel him touching the edges of his mind, confirming Vegeta's enjoyment – as if the moans and cries of pleasure weren't enough.

Kakarott's fingers sliding into him, carefully slicking and preparing, added to his enjoyment. They crooked and twisted, teasing him, perfectly in sync with the movement of his tongue. He arched into the touch, supported by Kakarott's other hand splayed against the small of his back.

He knew he couldn't last long against this talented onslaught. His world flashed vivid colors behind eyes closed tight so he could focus completely on the sensations. In one stunning instant of bliss, Kakarott pressed fingertips hard against his prostate and tailspot, sucking hard. Vegeta screamed his release, toes curling, back arched like a bow.

Fortunately, Kakarott took his time lapping up the fruits of his labors, because it was all Vegeta could do to catch his breath.

"So? How was it?" Kakarott demanded, finishing more quickly than Vegeta would have liked.

He could hear the satisfied grin in Kakarott's voice and smiled contentedly at the ceiling. "You've gotten damned good at that."

"You think so?" Kakarott asked, shifting around trying to find the best position.

He raised his head to grin at his mate. "Quit fishing for compliments."

Kakarott didn't answer, an intense, if somewhat frustrated expression marring his face. "Damn it," he muttered.

Vegeta propped himself up on his elbows and looked at Kakarott between his spread legs. "What's wrong?"

"I can't do it. The bed's too high to kneel and too low to stand. If I try to stack pillows they slide apart and I fall off," he continued, frustration mounting. "Damn it, sometimes I really hate being pregnant. I want to fuck you, but with the baby in the way I can't."

Vegeta almost grinned, but thought the better of it at the last minute. They both knew Kakarott's growing belly would require some adjustments, but reminding him of that seemed rather cruel considering everything his mate was going through. He considered offering Kakarott a blow job to appease him, but honestly that wasn't a replacement when his mate was obviously in the mood to fuck.

He pondered possible positions for a moment, smirking when an even better solution came to him. Vegeta rolled off the bed and bounced to his feet, much to Kakarott's dismay.

"Hey!" he protested.

"Don't worry," he said, tucking a blanket under his arm and tossing a pillow to his mate. "You'll get your turn. Bring that and lube and follow me."

"Wait! Where are you going?" Kakarott demanded, lumbering to his feet. Vegeta didn't answer, just grinning back over his shoulder, and headed outside, positive his mate would follow. The sun was starting to set, coloring the clearing around their cabin with a warm orange glow. Kakarott caught up to him, stopping at his side next to a massive boulder.

"Alright Vegeta," Kakarott asked, a little breathlessly, "What's up?"

Vegeta couldn't help himself – he smirked and pointed to his own erection.

"Vegeeeta," Kakarott complained, half frustrated and half amused.

"Don't be so impatient," he answered, shoving the blanket into his mate's arms. He took Kakarott by the shoulders and made him shift around until he stood with his side to the rock. He hummed thoughtfully to himself as he glanced between the rock and his mate, noting with little surprise that Kakarott's erection had flagged. He'd have to fix that first. It didn't take much to bring him back to life and when he released his grip it was to the music of Kakarott's wail of protest.

"That's better," he said, stepping back and taking one more measurement. Then he turned and sliced the top off the boulder with a beam of ki, leaving a large level surface. He might not have the Namek's ability to create things out of nothing but ki, but he was an expert in surgical demolition. Kakarott let a little cry of surprise escape before turning to grin at him. He smirked back and took the pillow and blanket from his mate's arms, spreading it over the end of the structure he had already mentally dubbed 'Fucking Rock'. In a moment he was up on the top, legs spread and grinning at Kakarott.

"There. That's better." As planned, the height was perfect for his mate; he'd have to find another boulder to cut down to size for himself.

"Vegeta, you are much too good to me," Kakarott purred, flipping open the lube and generously slicking himself with it.

"I know. I'm a wonderful mate," he said, swinging his legs over Kakarott's shoulders. "Now fuck me already."

And he did.

TBC

This version is _extremely_ edited. The cliffhanger sex doesn't exist on other sites, so if you are old enough, check out this story on MM or AFF. :)


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